http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards: Forum: Catholic - Recent Topics en Tue, 14 Feb 2012 01:51:20 +0000 http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/catholicnon-catholic-christian-wedding-mass-issues-very-long-but-pls-help#post-3222190 Sun, 12 Feb 2012 23:58:57 +0000 Rachel631 3222190@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Right... so here is my issue. I am a non-Conformist. My family are all non-Conformists of various denominations, and I come from a long line of pastors. FI's family are uber-Catholic. FI said his Mum really wanted us to get married in a Catholic church. I said fine... as long as we are married in church, I couldn't care less. But then the issue of mass came up. I would have love love loved more than anything for both families to take Communion/Mass together. I think it would have been a wonderful show of shared faith. I also know that lots of priests do allow practising, baptised Christians of any denomination to take mass (despite the fact it is strictly forbidden). I know this because my stepmum's family is also Catholic, so I know the tricks...</p> <p>Anyway, FI has said before that he can't stand the idea of non-Catholics receiving Catholic Mass, so I have never done this either without him or with him (which has been a source of considerable sorrow for me, actually... I know I could convert to Catholicism, but there are many reasons I am unwilling to do this... it's really not for me). I would have also loved to take Mass with him on our wedding day. However, I would not be willing to do this if my family could not take it with me.</p> <p>Therefore, I suggested to FIs family a while back that we could have an Ecumenical Communion early on the morning of the wedding, or the day before, where we just turn up in jeans and t-shirts and have something informal where everyone takes communion together. That way, people wouldn't feel bad if we have a Catholic Mass later, and I got dispensation to receive Mass. This shouln't technically be an issue, as Catholics do not see Ecumenical Communion as valid. So if it is meaningless to them, then what's the big deal? I suggested this to FIs family. They were horrified. To be fair, I also concluded later that you shouldn't participate in religious rites which have no meaning for you, so they were right to bin the idea (but for the wrong reasons, IMHO).</p> <p>OK, now I have a problem. FIs family said that my side could recieve a blessing instead. Only they can't, because blessings are only for children and the unbaptised in my family's tradition (we practise adult baptism), so technically it is slighhtly insulting to my most religious of family members. I tried to explain this nicely and was laughed off and dismissed with "that's ridiculous! Of course it's not an insult!" etc. This irritated me, actually, although I tried not to show it... I never implied that it was a deliberate slur (which of course it is not, and was never meant to be), just that a little sensitivity towards people's feelings from everyone involved might be appreciated.</p> <p>So what now? Well, now I search through the Catechism and Rites books for an answer. And there it is... a Wedding Ceremony without mass. Not ideal, as I wanted everyone to receive Mass rather than nobody, but... it's a good second best and won't offend anyone (or so I thought...). HOORAY!!!! PRAISE THE LORD ETC. We could even have a Mass the day before for the Catholic side, and I would be a good girl and take my blessing instead of mass. I even promise to smile beautifically and be super-polite throughout. Scouts honour.</p> <p>This is apparently even the PREFERRED option for Catholic/non-Catholic marriage, according to the rite book! Even better! Minimum hassle and the Priest will be on my side! Problem solved! Or so I thought... because I happened to mention this to FMIL the other day... I asked if she thought I could add a few more readings (preferably Gospel readings) and prayers to the set order of service to lengthen it and provide more time for reflection, and she was horrified that I didn't want a mass and said that it wouldn't be a real wedding. Fortunately, we then changed the topic of conversation...</p> <p>I felt physically sick. I don't want to fight with anyone. But I honestly feel that I can't compromise any more than I have already (especially in a situation where the other party feels that there can be no compromise at all). I feel terrible. I feel terrible for her, as well. I spoke to FI and he acted like it was no big deal. He said "well, if that's the preferred option in the rites book, then why not have it?". The thing is, her wanting mass is an emotional response which isn't going to be shifted by reason (although she will doubtless justify it thus), and people don't like to compromise their religious beliefs, which I understand. It's just that... when I say "I respect your position, even though I neither understand nor share it" then I mean it... and...&nbsp;</p> <p>I seriously think that this will be far and away the number one issue of conflict in the whole wedding. Does anyone with strong Catholic convictions have any idea how I can try and placate her? I've considered having her read etc (and she doubtless will have a big say on other aspects of the ceremony, as the MOG should do, IMHO), but that's not a solution for the whole thing. If I say "readings" etc, she'll just feel like I took her cake away and gave her a breath mint, so to speak. I already quickly brought up the idea of a mass the day before. She was unimpressed.</p> <p>PLEASE HELP!!!</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/engaged-encounter-weekend-what-to-expect#post-2910408 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 22:29:45 +0000 pandaboo 2910408@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Hello bees,</p> <p>FI and I just got a confirmation email saying that we will be attending an engaged encounter weekend on January 7th &amp; 8th. I would like to ask any bees who have been to a catholic engaged encounter--- what is it like? what should I expect? and was it worth the $275 (or however much you got charged?)</p> <p>also I'm a bit nervous about sharing a room with a stranger! since we have to share a room with someone of the same gender as us, Ive never shared a room with someone I did not know so it will be very new to me. :)</p> <p>please let me know about your experiences and any advice would be appreciated!</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/catholic-but-no-catholic-wedding#post-817369 Sat, 20 Mar 2010 22:31:34 +0000 courtandjj 817369@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I have been with my fiance for almost three years and this last valentines we got engaged. My mom converted when I was a baby after she had met my ex-step-dad. Since she converted this also brought me and my sister along to the Catholic faith. &nbsp;I went to a Catholic elementary school and High school but starting about freshman or sophomore year I was starting to lose interest in the faith but have still gone to Church even after graduation. &nbsp;The only reason I am still gong is because my mom still wants me to go because in her eyes God is number one. &nbsp;I understand this is how it should go and such but I don't feel the same way as she does about faith. &nbsp;My fiance is atheist so it wouldn't bother him if I don't go to church. &nbsp;I don't know how to tell my mom that I don't want to have a Catholic wedding since I do not agree with a lot of their reasonings and explanations. &nbsp;I know it should be my choice whether or not to be Catholic but it feels like I can't tell my mom that i don't want to go because she will blame it on my fiance that he told me I shouldn't go even if he doesn't tell me this... &nbsp;Is it bad that I don't want to have a Catholic wedding but still want to have my wedding in a church?</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/calling-all-catholic-brides-wedding-ring-question#post-3084612 Fri, 13 Jan 2012 06:34:22 +0000 Mo_Light 3084612@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Hi Everyone,</p> <p>I was hoping my fellow Catholic brides might be able to help me out. I will be getting married this September, and my&nbsp;fiancee&nbsp;and I are currently shopping around for wedding bands.</p> <p>I have my heart set on a 7 diamond shared-prong wedding band which looks beautiful next to my plain solitaire e-ring. I currently don't wear my e-ring when I am doing "dirty" jobs or going on outdoor adventures (cottaging, camping, rock climbing etc). I do not plan on wearing my wedding band during these times either, and I don't want to wear it while travelling over-seas (just in case it gets lost, and I certainly don't want to draw attention to myself).</p> <p>I don't want to be ringless, so I am thinking of purchasing another plain and simple wedding band&nbsp;which I can wear when I don't/can't wear my fancier e-ring and wedding band. &nbsp;</p> <p>My question is, will a Catholic priest bless two wedding bands during the ceremony (which would actually be three because of my&nbsp;fiancee's band)?&nbsp; I plan on asking my priest to confirm, but I wanted to know if anyone out there had the same experience.</p> <p>Thanks in advance!</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Mo_Light</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/full-mass-if-marrying-a-non-catholic#post-2985010 Sun, 18 Dec 2011 10:58:03 +0000 upnorth123 2985010@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I am a practicing Catholic and husband-to-be is a Christian that doesn't really attend any church. He has agreed to a Catholic service and raising our children Catholic, which I am so appreciative of, but now there's another snag... I REALLY want to have a full Nuptial Mass. I think having the Eucharist during my wedding ceremony would be so fulfilling and meaningful to me and those of my guests that are Catholic. We are looking at about 20 out of 50 guests that are Catholic-- largely on "my" side of the guest list but a fair sprinkling throughout his (his best man, for example, and his wife etc.). Is it unreasonable of me to request a full Mass when I meet with the priest on Tuesday?&nbsp; I know he might push for just the Nuptial Rite, but like I said, I really would love to have the Eucharist as part of the ceremony. Thoughts/suggestions?</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/not-your-parish#post-3209641 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:47:51 +0000 NavyBride2013 3209641@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Have people found it generally easy to get married in a Catholic church that is not your home parish (or your parents' or fiance's?). &nbsp;My FI and I are prob going to do a destination wedding, so we won't have a home church. &nbsp;I noticed a lot of the websites though say you have to be a parishoner to get married there....</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/offertory-and-communion-hymns#post-3193592 Mon, 06 Feb 2012 11:33:16 +0000 Garnety 3193592@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I would love to know what you are choosing for the Offertory and Communion Hymns... especially if it's something a little different than the usual. :)</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/catholic-wedding-program-2#post-54225 Tue, 27 May 2008 11:14:33 +0000 KateC 54225@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>My fiance and I are having a full mass ceremony in a couple weeks, and I am having a horrid time finding a good template or ideas of how the program should look. </p> <p>We have all of our readings and everything chosen from our 'Together for Life' book, but I don't know how to format.</p> <p>&nbsp;If anyone has any ideas, or can e-mail one that would be so amazing.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/catholic-churches-in-newport-ri#post-3221165 Sun, 12 Feb 2012 18:48:25 +0000 TaraWhitney 3221165@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Hi! My fiance and I live in Dartmouth, MA, but are looking to get married in Newport, RI. We would like to have a traditional ceremony at a catholic church. Since we are not from the area, we aren't familiar with the churches in Newport. Has anyone found an accommodating catholic church in Newport for "outsiders".&nbsp;</p> <p>Thanks!</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-my-foccus-results-today#post-3138698 Wed, 25 Jan 2012 10:47:33 +0000 eperez21 3138698@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Me and my FI took the FOCCUS back in September and we are getting our results today! Yup after 4 months. I kept calling the church counselor and she told me to be patient and wait for her to contact me.</p> <p>We have completed almost all of the other classes (we're in the middle of NFP) and most couples we talked to had already received their FOCCUS results.</p> <p>After 5 years together I believe we have good communication and know each other pretty well, my SO is my best friend. But I am still a little nervous about the experience. The lady sounds a little "mean" on the phone, I almost wanted to call the church and ask for another advisor but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt being that we haven't met in person yet.</p> <p>Did any of you Catholic bees have any problems with the FOCCUS?</p> <p>&nbsp;</p>