http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Tag: gifts en Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:50:55 +0000 http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/asking-for-money-to-pay-for-wedding-%e2%80%93-tacky-or-smart#post-493143 Sun, 22 Nov 2009 11:40:03 +0000 GaBGal 493143@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>hmmm... well, its one thing to hint by word of mouth that wedding gifts as money are preferred and quite another to plan a wedding with hopes that monetary gifts can be used to pay for it.</p> <p>I view registries as "gift preferences". No one says you need to get a gift off a registry, but it just eases shopping frustrations (like askign someone to make a Christmas wishlist).</p> <p>I prefer to give cash gifts for wedding presents however not all people do and it may be viewed as presumtious to ask for cash.</p> <p>Again, I also see it quite different to relate that money will be easier for your future, but I don't think it is wise to count on cash gifts to pay for the actual wedding celebration.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/asking-for-money-to-pay-for-wedding-%e2%80%93-tacky-or-smart#post-493124 Sun, 22 Nov 2009 11:32:48 +0000 AmberEyes 493124@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Just wanted to add that: bkgrahamwedding - you are a genius!! And you're right, speaking from a guest's perspective, if my budget for a couple was $50 and I browsed around the store, I usually found that $50 items are too dinky, so I step up my budget just a notch to afford that fancy $150 George Foreman grill that I'm sure the couple will love. But if they had asked for cash, not only would I be turned off, I would also just give them the $50 flat. I think we'll do what you suggested, lol, it's brilliant, lol. Now I just have to make a list of stores with amazing return policies, lol.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/asking-for-money-to-pay-for-wedding-%e2%80%93-tacky-or-smart#post-493109 Sun, 22 Nov 2009 11:28:19 +0000 AmberEyes 493109@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I, too, wish that we can simply ask our friends and family to give us cash for our wedding shower so that it could alleviate our wedding planning expenses. Unfortunately, gift giving isn't obligatory. We don't want our loved ones to feel that they're expected to give gifts, especially cash gifts. We want them to give gifts by their own accord, if it makes them happy to contribute to our wedding/marriage either by buying us a Kitchen Aid blender or inserting a hundred bucks in an envelope, then that's fine. Whatever they want to give should be fine, we want it to be their choice. If we had put the message out there that "We'd prefer cash to help towards our wedding" this would most likely make our loved ones feel "forced" to give money, and therefore turned off by the whole event. We don't want people to be turned off by our wedding. This is supposed to be a happy celebration of our union, and the coming together of both families. It's not a fundraiser. On a happier note, my experience is that the majority of guests prefer to give cash at weddings anyway, because they don't want to carry a huge box while the'yre all dressed up for the reception. Envelopes are more convenient to carry. So, we thought we'll just let our guests think it's their idea to give us cash. At least this way there's no pressure or bad feelings.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/asking-for-money-to-pay-for-wedding-%e2%80%93-tacky-or-smart#post-493073 Sun, 22 Nov 2009 11:16:35 +0000 bkgrahamwedding 493073@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>So I have to throw in my psychology grad student perspective on this: I wondered exactly the same thing when I got engaged. So what did I do? I read the journals, natch. (I know, I know - I'm a dork. There, I said it.)</p> <p>Basically what I read was that people (aka your guests) will spend more money on a gift (e.g something you register for) than they will give you in cash. If someone planned on spending on/giving you $50, but they saw a $75 gift, they would buy it. But if they were writing a check, they would only give you $50. I didn't believe it at first, but I saw it over and over in different experiments.</p> <p>Based on that, I would say your best bet is to register for lots of gifts (that you may or may not actually want) at somewhere that has a really awesome return policy, like Bed, Bath, and Beyond, and just return the gifts you are given. You will probably"get more" total that way.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/asking-for-money-to-pay-for-wedding-%e2%80%93-tacky-or-smart#post-493047 Sun, 22 Nov 2009 11:06:58 +0000 MissAsB 493047@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>We had mostly money given to us at our wedding.&nbsp; I think it happened because we didn't have showers or parties before, most of the guests were out of town, and we didn't register for a lot of gifts.&nbsp; There isn't any polite way to ask for money since people don't HAVE to give you a present just because you are getting married.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/asking-for-money-to-pay-for-wedding-%e2%80%93-tacky-or-smart#post-493036 Sun, 22 Nov 2009 11:01:23 +0000 KMSull 493036@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I know some people set up registries like <a href="http://www.honeyfund.com" rel="nofollow">www.honeyfund.com</a> but unfortunately, there's no polite way to ask for money. Gift giving isn't a compulsion- guests don't HAVE to do it and they do it out of generosity and love so you're basically at their mercy unless you have a registry. Even then, they could choose to ignore the registry completely. Target and a few other places lets you register for gift cards, so that might alleviate the pressure a little bit.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/asking-for-money-to-pay-for-wedding-%e2%80%93-tacky-or-smart#post-492935 Sun, 22 Nov 2009 09:48:46 +0000 beautifullyelegant 492935@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>While traditions might dictate the etiquette of how things are done. One is left to wonder if tradition is always best; after<a href="http://www.dollarforawedding.com/uploads/2/6/2/2/2622400/900282.jpg"><img src="http://www.dollarforawedding.com/uploads/2/6/2/2/2622400/900282.jpg" alt="Vanessa &amp; Cole - Dollar For A Wedding" title="Vanessa &amp; Cole" /></a>all someone had to come up with it so why not set your own trend. Some say asking for monetary donations instead of setting up the usual gift registry is tacky, but others view it as a creative approach to our current economic state.<br /> The argument is one that makes for a spirited debate if nothing more.</p> <p>A few questions pop to mind.<br /> <strong>*</strong> Are there any written rules that determines the type of gift a couple is allow to ask for?<br /> <strong>*</strong> What exactly does gift giving really mean?<br /> <strong>*</strong> What is the difference between a wedding registry / gift certificate and a donation to help a couple with their planning expenses?</p> <p>Hmmmmm, I bet the question is not as simple as it appeared.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/vietnamese-betrothal-presents-1#post-489748 Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:27:30 +0000 vttp926 489748@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>it depends on what area you may be in. and usually around tet (the vietnamese new year) they have all nice boxes that you can use. i know that the red clothes are online but i cant remember the site at the moment.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/bridesmaids-gifts-ideas-and-suggestions#post-488448 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:56:50 +0000 maisymay 488448@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I'm doing a pair of earrings in a cute box, plus photobooks of us with a note. After all of your posts, it makes me feel like I'm not doing much, but I think they'll appreciate it. :-)</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/registry-announcement-question#post-486446 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:58:35 +0000 wifey122209 486446@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Thanks Amanda! I just wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing. :)</p>