http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Tag: nyc en Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:19:18 +0000 http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/wedding-out-of-the-borough#post-488358 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:39:27 +0000 AprilBride10 488358@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I'm from Brooklyn (but living in Queens) so we're getting married in Brooklyn and having the reception in Staten Island.</p> <p>MissDoodles - are you getting married at the stadium itself?&nbsp; My FI will be so jealous, he's a huuuuge Mets fan!</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/wedding-out-of-the-borough#post-487370 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:04:16 +0000 brooklynbride1984 487370@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p><img src="http://boards.weddingbee.com/my-plugins/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-kiss.gif" alt="Kiss" title="Kiss" />&nbsp;FI is from the bronx and im from brooklyn.. we are leaving the boro's and getting married in NJ.. wanted a different setting than the hustle and bustlle ..</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/parents-want-us-to-double-budget-help#post-487279 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:44:48 +0000 cama 487279@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>THANKS BEES FOR YOUR SUPPORT! :) Its totally crazy how much $7000 is! -- and thats only for the reception and ceremony. That doesn't include, rings, honeymoon, attire, etc.! Its so unfortunate that the wedding industry has suckered all these people (my family, your families, for some of you) into thinking that this is a miniscule amount and inadequate.</p> <p>@<em><a href="../profile/jaylii9">jaylii9</a>: Thats exactly whats happening to me. Even though I have moved out of the house 2 years ago, in my mid-20s, have a masters, a career, supporting both my sisters in my apartment, i am still a child in their eyes and its pretty frustrating sometimes. I don't think they mean to say that I don't know what I am doing (at least I'd like to think so), it still drives me nuts.&nbsp; </em></p> <p>@<em><a href="../profile/snmcdowell">snmcdowell</a>: That is awesome advice! I never thought of that before. However, if they decide to investigate that might turn into something crazier. Solid tips though. </em></p> <p>I'll update you all later after we meet with some caterers and a church coordinator.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/parents-want-us-to-double-budget-help#post-486836 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:38:13 +0000 snmcdowell 486836@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>The easiest thing to do in this circumstance is just pass the blame. Tell your parents that the churches won't take a credit card and that you don't have the cash to pay for it. Tell them all the caterers have a minimum charge and they won't do an event that fits in your budget. Tell them you really tried, but you're sorry, it just isn't working out. Tell them the church&nbsp;you wanted is booked solid for the next 2 years. Tell them you spoke with a wedding coordinator and she said that a big fancy weddings are gauche&nbsp;in the current economic climate and that she recommended you plan a smaller event. Tell them anything - just blame it on somebody else, then do it your way!</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/parents-want-us-to-double-budget-help#post-486833 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:37:29 +0000 jaylii9 486833@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Cama, I amnot sure about you, but I am in my mid 20s and having problems with my parents. The hot topic right now is the holidays and how my mom just can't seem to understand that I have a grown up job that won't allow me tons of vacation.</p> <p>Anyways, FI and I had a talk last night about how my parents still view me as their little girl. I did not agree at first, but now I do agree more with that. Unfortunately, it's true. I am consciously trying to make decisions that are good for FI and I. This has been an uphill battle, but we are our own family now. My parents will always be important, but I can't let them push me around. I figure life will only get more complicated with grandkids in the future etc, so I better stand my ground now!</p> <p>Also, based on my story above. We budgeted for 130, but we now think 140-145 is going to be the actual number (large families) so FI and I are trying to save more so we can have that money available if we need it.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/parents-want-us-to-double-budget-help#post-486802 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:28:07 +0000 cheerful 486802@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Yes, I second EJS, it starts with the wedding. My husband and I couldn't take all the familial sniping and pressures and we had a four guest black-tie elopement instead. Have the wedding you want - it is your wedding after all.&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/parents-want-us-to-double-budget-help#post-486794 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:26:53 +0000 JoeyEmma 486794@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Another voice saying that if they want you to spend more then they should pay for it. $7000 is a heck of a lot of money. If they haven't got that amount lying around to spend on a wedding, then why should you?</p> <p>You have budgeted for what you want and can afford, therefore spend that amount. Don't get pressurised into spending more.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/parents-want-us-to-double-budget-help#post-486778 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:23:41 +0000 ejs4y8 486778@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>No, it's not their vault they can't afford to help you out, but it's also not fair to make demands of YOUR wedding and not lend a finger. They may feel sad about it, but ultimately it is your day, sweetie. If you are crying now over this, it will eat you up and you don't want to have a big wedding that you regret later, just to make other people happy.</p> <p>Maybe there is a middle ground with your parents?</p> <p>Personally, we paid for our own wedding and we did not make the concessions other people asked us to make. Our money, our call. We had a budget and we stuck to it. I would not expact my budget/guestlist for my parents' desires without their financial assistant.</p> <p>I feel that asking others to shell out money they don't really have is really quite selfish. Maybe try to appeal to a different side of your parents--one that doesn't involve the cultural stigmas. It's simply not right.</p> <p>And i hate to say it, but it starts with the wedding. You need to grow a backbone because if you don't, it'll only get worse over time. It will be hard for your SO to deal with too.</p> <p>Just make sure you aren't compromising too much or you won't be happy. I hate when people are unhappy with their own weddings. The best thing we ever did was say "NO" to my parents about the wedding THEY wanted us to have.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/parents-want-us-to-double-budget-help#post-486749 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:15:51 +0000 cama 486749@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Guys, I'm at work and your responses have almost made me cry. Thank you so much for your support! In response to everyone who said don't count on making a profit -- thanks for the good advice! I would NEVER try to do that.</p> <p>@<em><a href="../profile/automnemariee">AutomneMariee</a>: </em>You are so sweet! Thanks for sending the link.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Currently, we're going to check out this restaurant that caters for an amazingly reasonable price. This would enable us to expand our guest list to about 150 and only go over our budget by $150. However, we'd have to find a separate venue to rent out. I am going to present this information to my parents and ask them to pay for the venue (or at least 75% of it) if they want to proceed. I genuinely want to make them happy and involve them in this process. Its not their fault they cannot afford to help us have the lavish wedding they're envisioning. In our culture, it is customary to have hundreds of people at your wedding banquet (I DO NOT agree with this!) and I think they feel sad they can't have that. Also, as I mentioned before, I have very little backbone when handling my parents -- they really know how to guilt trip. I felt sooo bad last night, I could hardly sleep. It was the first thing I could think about when I woke up this morning.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>It was so good to hear your stories, beehive. Sometimes you just feel so alone in things, you know?</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Has anyone expanded their budget/guestlist for their parents but without their financial help?</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/parents-want-us-to-double-budget-help#post-486600 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:47:14 +0000 Miss Lily 486600@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>WHOA! What?! Your parents are acting like children. I'm sorry. Someone had to say it. If they can't understand why you want a smaller wedding and be happy for you, that's pretty sad. Who cares that you're the oldest and the first to get married? What, are you supposed to set the stage? I would tell them to back up the gravy train! No way! Hubby and I are doing our entire ceremony on less than 5K. It can be done. It just takes work. Hang in there, this won't be the last time someone tries to tell you what to do with YOUR wedding. :( We're here for you!</p>