http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Topic: Who should pay for bridesmaid hairstyles? en Thu, 03 Jul 2008 23:53:40 +0000 http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles/page/2#post-54346 Tue, 27 May 2008 18:50:57 +0000 missm 54346@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I recently had my hair trail and booked my appointment.&nbsp; I knew my mom would want her hair done, so I made that appointment as well.&nbsp; My FMIL made appointments for herself and her mom.&nbsp; I was sharing my trial pics with the wedding party and was completely surprised that they wanted appointments too!&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> <p>Since it is a nice place, the price tags match.&nbsp; Prior to booking the appointments, I was upfront about the costs and reiterated that it was entirely up to them how they did their hair and whether they did it themselves or had it done.&nbsp; I wanted to make sure there weren't any nasty suprizes when we all checked out.&nbsp; They both decided to go ahead with appointments, so now we're all going in together.&nbsp; To make it easy, we're carpooling from the inn.</p> <p>It is not expected for the bride to pay for hair/makeup unless there are specific restrictions (must have it done professionally or in a certain style).&nbsp; If you can afford to cover it, it is a lovely guesture.&nbsp; However, some people are much more comfortable having their hair done than doing it themselves.&nbsp; Check with your party and at least coordinate appointments, if you can.&nbsp; :)&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles/page/2#post-54295 Tue, 27 May 2008 16:53:34 +0000 wedding1 54295@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>ABSOLUTELY pay if you are requiring your bridesmaids to do their hair or makeup a certain way that you want it. I have a very big problem with people who get so wrapped up in their own wants that they do not realize that they need to be considerate of the people who are participating in the wedding because you asked them to. It is a big expense to be a bridesmaid. If you cannot afford to pay for their hair, do not tell them how to wear it.&nbsp;When planning your wedding,&nbsp;picture yourself as a guest, or your bridesmaid. You want it to be a fun, relaxed, and inexpensive / non-stressful event for them. If you are adament that your bridesmaids need to have their hair a certain way, then you should cut some other costs from your wedding to accomodate them. It is very unfair and in very poor taste to ask uneccesary expenses of people who are at your wedding to support you. </p> <p>&nbsp;I know that is not your question but I had to throw that in. If you cannot afford to pay for their hair, then that is not a faux pas, as long as you let them do it however they want!</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles/page/2#post-48875 Mon, 12 May 2008 19:08:22 +0000 smt 48875@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Erin -&nbsp;that sounds very reasonable!&nbsp; i'm sure your BMs appreciate that you're keeping their costs in mind.&nbsp; Hope you have a great wedding!&nbsp; </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles/page/2#post-48716 Mon, 12 May 2008 13:35:40 +0000 ErinMarieMack 48716@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I have never had the bride pick up the tab when I have been in a wedding! (I am seriously pouting right now) :)</p> <p>For my wedding, we are paying for transportation (renting vans for all the bridal&nbsp;party and their dates), lodging (for bridal party, dates and parents) and on the day of the wedding I am treating my gals to a brunch, a mani/pedi (I am buying them each a bottle of the color I would like them to wear) and giving them a $50 gift certificate for hair in addition to gifts (welcome bags full of goodies and pearl necklaces). I figure that with everything I am paying for, they can pay the difference for their 'dos and tips. The girls are also paying for BM dresses (their choice in any of 4 styles from J. Crew) and plane tickets to get here.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles/page/2#post-48692 Mon, 12 May 2008 13:21:04 +0000 kjbrady 48692@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>My girls are paying for their own hair and I am making it optional for them to come to the salon I have chosen. It's also optional for them to get any extra services like make-up or nails. I have been in a few weddings as have most of my girlfriends and we have all always paid for our own hair and make-up. I am doing anything I can to save them money all in all. I talked to&nbsp;a few of my bridesmaids about it and they all said they expect to pay for hair and makeup so I shouldn't even worry about it. That being said, I think most understanding people really do know that it all comes back around and someday, their bridesmaids will be doing the same for them. My thoughts are also then not to skimp on bridesmaids gifts! Be sure to budget this into your expenses! </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles/page/2#post-48474 Mon, 12 May 2008 00:23:32 +0000 maureen9004 48474@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I'm lucky... I only have a MOH my sister... it's really easy to get my wishes across! </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles/page/2#post-48334 Sat, 10 May 2008 15:58:08 +0000 vcomedancewithme 48334@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>If the bride requires them to get their hair or make ups professional done, than she should pay for it. If she leaves it as an option to the maids, than they pay for it. </p> <p>The bride should know her budget and have an in dept conversation about what she is willing to pay for her maids, and what she isnt or is not able to. </p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles/page/2#post-48282 Sat, 10 May 2008 08:44:34 +0000 smt 48282@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>ditto what happywife says... but watch out cuz not everything comes around.... I am paying for everything for the BMs... but that doesn't also happen when you are a BMs.&nbsp; </p> <p>So why am I doing that?&nbsp; I simply don't want to financially burden them.. they are my good friends and this should be a celebration.&nbsp; For that reason, I have a limited bridal party... I can't pay for 6 girls, so I ended up having 3 BMs.&nbsp; </p> <p>Even though for some cultures, it's not the norm to pay for everything, please do consider the financial burdens on the BMs...especially if you are having a large shower, an expensive dress +shoes, and a destination wedding where they have to pay for flight and hotels.&nbsp; I think it's just being hospitable to offer some setoff to those expenses IMO.&nbsp; Making the BMs pay for the large expenses is a no no and a huge financial burden.&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles/page/2#post-48266 Sat, 10 May 2008 01:52:16 +0000 happywife 48266@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>For Vietnamese weddings, the bride picks up the tab for hair, make-up, bridesmaid dress and bridesmaid traditional ao dai! :)&nbsp; Reading the boards makes me realize this is not common, but for my culture, this is expected.&nbsp; In a way, what goes around, comes around, so it all evens out.&nbsp; But- it makes it a fun experience for all involved.&nbsp; I also paid for mani pedi for one of the gals to get it done with me, since it'd be lonely sitting in the salon by myself! </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles/page/2#post-48127 Fri, 09 May 2008 14:42:57 +0000 aiee 48127@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>just to second what everyone else has said--please let your bridesmaids know that you won't be able to pay for them if you can't. Keeping it optional is great! The last wedding I was in, I was required to have hair &amp; makeup professionally done and had to pay for it myself (this was after 2 bridesmaid dresses, gifts, travel, etc). It was a family wedding, and I was just out of school so a sudden $85 expense was not cool, especially as I assumed (since it was a huge fancy wedding) that the bride or her mom would have picked up the cost. I would have been totally fine paying if I had known up front that it would be expected (so I could have budgeted for it) and/or I was given the option to pass on the salon visit if I didn't have the money/desire. </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles/page/2#post-48068 Fri, 09 May 2008 13:08:04 +0000 mlindsey 48068@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Just for clarity....me and my friends are in no way rich, but it is necessary for us to get our hair done every two to three weeks. Myself and my bridesmaids are African-American. I have a short hair cut that I can't maintain myself, and my bridesmaids have long hair that they usually get washed, flat-ironed, and curled regularly. So, it was kind of a given that they would be getting their hair done for my wedding. They actually came to me and asked me how I wanted them to get their hair done.....to which I said that it didn't matter as long as it was done.&nbsp; My circumstance may not be the norm, but to me, I would think that the BM's would want to look their best, and if to them that means getting their hair done, then the bride shouldn't be obligated to pay for it. Offering is a nice gesture, and if you can afford it, then by all means, but I don't think it should be expected. If they can do their own hair, and it will look good, then problem solved. </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles/page/2#post-47904 Thu, 08 May 2008 21:27:06 +0000 mikala 47904@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Thanks for all of the advice!! You have all been really helpful. I'll definitely make sure the options and costs are clear and I'll see if I can work in a manicure gift or something similar for some girl time before the wedding. </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles/page/2#post-47873 Thu, 08 May 2008 19:26:46 +0000 bride 47873@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>if you are not asking them to do a particular hairstyle or have professional hair done, then you can just give them the option should they want it. i'm having them do their hair, which is why i'm paying for them. but if you dont mind them doing it themselves, then you dont need to offer to pay. it is not required either way, but is a nice gesture for the bridesmaids/friends/sisters/relatives. </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles/page/2#post-47864 Thu, 08 May 2008 18:45:33 +0000 MsB 47864@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>If you are requiring they get their hair done then you should DEFINITLY pay for it.</p> <p>If not, then I don't think you need to pay for it.</p> <p>Some bridesmaids may want theirs done, others may not, so if you have the money and are giving them the option of getting it done I would recommend a gift card so they can either choose to get it done, or get another spa service of their choice.</p> <p>Kappauchf20 - I agree! every 2 weeks sounds so crazy! I get my hair done 3 times a year :) LOL. and that's by choice :)</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles#post-47861 Thu, 08 May 2008 18:33:09 +0000 missm 47861@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>What great guidelines and suggestions!&nbsp; I've got a tiny wedding party (my MOH plus a close friend who is our officiant).&nbsp; I'm paying for their mani/pedis the day prior as part of a women's day (all the moms and other close family are invited as well).&nbsp; Hair and makeup they will do themselves - the salons in the area are crazy expensive.&nbsp; I'm only getting mine done because I'm hopeless at updos.</p> <p>Not paying is not bad, but try and make the appointment option available in a way that minimizes confusion and makes expectations clear (that it's optional and completely up to them).&nbsp; Also make the prices known so they aren't in an awkward spot if it is beyond their budget. </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles#post-47857 Thu, 08 May 2008 18:25:06 +0000 kappaucf20 47857@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>By the way, how much money do you and your friends make to be able to afford to visit the salon every 2 weeks?! lol...&nbsp; Based on that, maybe it isn't a big deal in your circle for people to shell out money to get their hair done.&nbsp; But I know for many people (including myself), it's expensive enough as it is just paying for the bridesmaid dress, alterations, gift, etc.&nbsp; I couldn't imagine being forced to pay to get my hair done on top of everything else.&nbsp; That's a bit excessive in my opinion.&nbsp; </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles#post-47855 Thu, 08 May 2008 18:20:39 +0000 kappaucf20 47855@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>mlindsey-</p> <p>I hate to say it, but it is considered bad etiquette if you force your bridesmaids to get their hair done a certain way and you don't pay for it.&nbsp; I've been a bridesmaid before and fortunately my friend didn't require me to get an updo or anything.&nbsp; If she did, I certainly would have expected her to pay for it.&nbsp; On all the wedding boards I've read online, most people would disagree with you.&nbsp; Your friends will look nice even if their hair isn't done by a hairstylist. &nbsp; </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles#post-47843 Thu, 08 May 2008 17:28:18 +0000 mlindsey 47843@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I have never heard the rule that if you are requiring your BM's to get their hair done, then it is on your dime.&nbsp; My friends already knew that I didn't care HOW they got it done per se, just that they got it done. We all visit the salon every two weeks or so anyway, so it wasn't as if it was an unreasonable request. I paid for their makeup and their accessories, plus I got them all a gift, but they paid for their hair, mani/pedi's, and dresses on their own (except for one who needed help with her dress). I think it's a very nice gesture to pay for some of their services if you can afford to, but if not it doesn't make you a &quot;bad&quot; bride as far as etiquette is concerned.&nbsp;You want everyone to look their best, and your friends usually feel the same way - so I think it's pretty much understood that people will do whatever that means and not expect you to foot the bill for it, but if you do&nbsp;decide to help them in any way, I know they will appreciate it.&nbsp; </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles#post-47817 Thu, 08 May 2008 16:10:05 +0000 MsJadey 47817@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I'm paying for hair/makeup for all 3 of my bridesmaid.&nbsp; They are charging me $150/person.&nbsp; </p> <p>Before I even had a bridal party, I already set my budget for dress, shoes, hair/makeup because 2 of my 3 bridesmaids are from out of state.&nbsp; So they are already paying for their flights so the least I can do was&nbsp;cover everything else for them.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-should-pay-for-bridesmaid-hairstyles#post-47811 Thu, 08 May 2008 15:45:04 +0000 soaishai 47811@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>My Bridesmaids are paying for the hair themselves. (theyre all having updos.) except one of them I told her I would help her out! (her parents just moved out of state and she just moved in her with her bf lol) soo im helping her. </p> <p>They were completely okay with it all though! I'm planning on giving them a gift certificate to a spa here at the beach and also a really nice gift for being a bridesmaid :)</p>