http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Topic: Are we being cheap and tacky? en Tue, 14 Feb 2012 14:15:07 +0000 http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/are-we-being-cheap-and-tacky/page/3#post-846527 Tue, 30 Mar 2010 23:57:56 +0000 dori120976 846527@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Ok, we are also footing the whole bill ourselves, since are families are not able to help.&nbsp; Having said that, I would rather take from something else in the wedding than have a cash bar.&nbsp; I don't believe in it.&nbsp; The wedding is basically a party that you're hosting for people to come to.&nbsp; You wouldn't ask the guests to pay for food/drinks (even though we're only talking about drinks here).&nbsp; They go hand in hand.&nbsp; They're already bringing money or gifts for you at the wedding.&nbsp; On top of that, you're also asking them to pay for their own drinks?&nbsp; Not cool imo!&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Either offer less selections, or cheaper ones, than make people pay for their own drink.&nbsp; A great suggestion is to do what a lot of bees said, to offer wine and beer and a signature drink and that's it.&nbsp; People will still get alcohol in their system and it won't cost you that much, but definitely NO cash bar.&nbsp; I know it's tough now, but you'll end up regretting it after the wedding if you did end up doing the cash bar.&nbsp; Good luck with everything!&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/are-we-being-cheap-and-tacky/page/3#post-841855 Mon, 29 Mar 2010 15:52:03 +0000 SDHoneyBee 841855@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>You do what you can afford! I'm from the Midwest, and I have never been to a wedding that wasn't at least partly cash bar. We are having beer and wine for the night and then a cash bar. I actually am OPPOSED to full bars (as the bride, not the guest!) because I've seen my fiance's fraternity brothers at other weddings and the last thing I want to worry about is too-wasted guests. People can really take advantage of it (depending on your age/where you're from), and so I think it is absoutely fine not to give people free and full access to a bottle of Jack!</p> <p>Your guests are there to celebrate with you, not run up your tab. If you can afford it great. If not, great. It's your day!</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/are-we-being-cheap-and-tacky/page/3#post-840266 Mon, 29 Mar 2010 09:26:45 +0000 BusyBride2Be 840266@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>A lot of guests think that weddings need to please them. You are the ones paying for this wedding and I do not think having an open bar for a limited amount of time to be tacky or cheap. TONS of weddings are like that! If you can't afford to have an entirely open bar then that is fine. As long as you provide food and non alcoholic beverages you are at no obligation to provide alcohol. If there are guests who want to get drunk they can go to the bar afterwards. It would actually be tacky and rude for guests to think they have the right to judge your wedding for what it does or doesn't have.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/are-we-being-cheap-and-tacky/page/3#post-259779 Tue, 14 Jul 2009 11:38:19 +0000 southernbella 259779@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Tacky. Don't serve alcohol, or limit it to a signature drink. </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/are-we-being-cheap-and-tacky/page/3#post-256597 Sun, 12 Jul 2009 17:18:43 +0000 avocado 256597@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>The only time I have seen the cash bar look tacky is when the wedding was held in a location with no ATM, and the closest one was 15 minutes away! Because the guests didn't know this some of them had to leave the reception and drive quite a distance because they didn't have cash on hand. </p> <p>As a non-drinker I don't think alcohol is essential for someone to enjoy the wedding. Your guests are coming to see and congratulate you, not have a martini! </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/are-we-being-cheap-and-tacky/page/2#post-254179 Thu, 09 Jul 2009 20:33:47 +0000 poli2b 254179@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Oh! This is always a hot-button issue on here.</p> <p>We are doing $1,000 prepaid on the bar. After that, it's cash.</p> <p>End of story. I could care less if someone thinks it's cheap or tacky. I just paid for your filet mignon, bitches. So eat, drink, dance and be happy or GO HOME! </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/are-we-being-cheap-and-tacky/page/2#post-254121 Thu, 09 Jul 2009 19:03:43 +0000 fabulouslyengaged 254121@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Alright, I know I'm late, but I just wanted to throw out my thoughts!</p> <p>&nbsp;1. You can close the bar for one hour during dinner and only serve wine. This is quite a traditional thing to do.</p> <p>2. You can have an afternoon reception. People definitely don't drink as much, and it really can be a seriously lovely affair!! Have you considered this?</p> <p>3. I think the situation of having a cash bar is really an ettiquette thing. But remember, the whole basis of ettiquette is to make people feel comfortable...its not supposed to be a chance to point fingers and call something &quot;tacky.&quot; So really, although Emily Post might say its not proper ettiquette to have a cash bar at a wedding after your budgeted amount is gone, if you honestly believe in your heart of hearts that your guests will be COMFORTABLE and not feel awkward paying, then you should not have any problem! However, if there is a chance that your guests might feel uncomfortable, I really think you should look for an alternative place to cut corners.</p> <p>Cheers! </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/are-we-being-cheap-and-tacky/page/2#post-251194 Tue, 07 Jul 2009 12:32:06 +0000 soontobewalsh 251194@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Thanks Ladies! Wow - I don't think I realized what a &quot;hot&quot; topic this would be or how many responses I would get :) I really appreciate everyone's ideas, suggestions, and opinions.</p> <p>For those that were offended by my choices of adjectives (cheap and tacky), I apologize. These are just some things I've heard others use when refering to the &quot;cash bar debate&quot;. I did ask for honesty and am glad everyone was. </p> <p>After much thinking (and reading :) ) I have decided to go with my initial decision of putting a certain amount of money on the bar and when it's up, it will go to cash. The amount that I am going to put down will certainly get me through a cocktail hour and then some. I would love to be able to provide drinks for all my guests all night long but it's just not in the budget and I am going with the saying &quot;something is better than nothing&quot;. </p> <p>I am just in a situation where my current list cannot be trimmed anymore than it already is as we both have big families and important and dear friends in our lives. Also, I have been cutting costs wherever possible and hopefully they will be&nbsp;dazzled by the meal (We are having a 5 course dinner, family style, unlimited but only because that's just the way the package is). Alcohol isn't the top priority for me though I realize it's higher on other's lists and I have been to both open and cash bar weddings. I will certainly be sure to make it known ahead of time though.</p> <p>Thanks again for all the input and good luck planning everyone :)</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/are-we-being-cheap-and-tacky/page/2#post-250672 Tue, 07 Jul 2009 05:16:28 +0000 mssnapdragon 250672@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I say, do what you can afford!&nbsp; You are throwing the party, do what you can.&nbsp; If you have people at your wedding grumbling about this, that, or whatever, they are probably not your close friends.&nbsp; As PP have suggested, a short-term open bar, a wine and beer bar are some great, more affordable options.&nbsp; Personally, I couldn't give a rat's patooty what is offered at a wedding, because I am just happy to be there to share in my friend/family member's special day.&nbsp; Unless you live under a rock, any guest knows weddings are expensive - especially when unemployment is at 10%.&nbsp; These days, it's even MORE important to only do what you can afford. I'd rather pay $5 for a cocktail than not have the option at all.&nbsp; No biggie! </p> <p>Many make mention of the fact that a host should provide everything gratis.&nbsp; Sure, that's true, but there is also the other side of the coin: a guest should enjoy the party that has been provided.&nbsp; Be a good host - be a good guest.&nbsp; I also see alcohol as a bit of icing on the cake, not a necessity.&nbsp; I like a good drink at a wedding, but I am not going to be a brat about it. </p> <p>Don't fret! </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/are-we-being-cheap-and-tacky/page/2#post-250661 Tue, 07 Jul 2009 04:53:37 +0000 ADLawrence 250661@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>There's another option if your wedding will be held at a location that doesn't have a regular bar. (I'm not sure if anyone mentioned this.)</p> <p>Instead of paying full restaurant or bar prices, you could hire a bartender through a local liqueur store and they can supply your alcohol. The savings can mean your alternative is a 1/3 (or more) less!</p> <p>Our estimate is $5 to $11 dollars per person and that's for 2 to 4 drinks for everyone. The other fee is for the bartender, $25 (including all tips) per hour, so we will pay him about $100 to $125 for the whole night. The bartender is licensed and has worked at other weddings, so we have no worries about him knowing what to do.</p> <p>As for whether a cash bar is tacky or not, I think it's all in how you handle it. I suggest somehow letting your guests know that they might want to bring cash. I don't think you'd want to include it in the invitation, but when you find out if they will join you or not, maybe a call or send a follow up piece with more information about the area and a kind, quick note about an open bar.</p> <p>You both have medium to large families, so I'm sure that your families will understand the cost involved with having an open bar. If you give them a heads up, they can plan ahead.</p> <p>:) </p>