http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Topic: Buying a dress before getting engaged? en Mon, 22 Mar 2010 13:10:41 +0000 http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/buying-a-dress-before-getting-engaged/page/3#post-581393 Fri, 01 Jan 2010 17:44:40 +0000 gionnetto 581393@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>The only reason I wouldn't do it is becase of the financial commitment of it! Most women have a definite idea of what kind of dress they like which does NOT change with who the bf is or is not LOL</p> <p>I for example buy classic clothes, I still wear some from when I was a teenager, because my taste is above trends and pretty timeless. So to answer your question, YES I would have definitely bought the dress I liked before being engaged if I had felt that I stubled on the right gown.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/buying-a-dress-before-getting-engaged/page/3#post-581306 Fri, 01 Jan 2010 16:58:50 +0000 LoriLori 581306@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I agree with a lot of what Tiddles said!&nbsp; To me, it's a DRESS for heaven's sake!&nbsp; Not everyone is like that but if you saw the perfect dress for you, at a great bargain, then why not buy it?&nbsp; although I probably wouldn't tell the guy - just keep it a little secret, hee-hee.</p> <p>It so NOT like pushing around a baby stroller!&nbsp; The equivalent of that would be wearing the dress out in public and aksing men to marry you!&nbsp; Ha-Ha!</p> <p>Crazy is a little harsh.&nbsp; Unusual for some but as a big bargain shopper I could see myself doing it.&nbsp; I didn't though.&nbsp; But I do own a home with my fiance and did for 3 years before he proposed!&nbsp; And that is just a business transaction.&nbsp; If you protect yourself properly I see no problem with that either.&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/buying-a-dress-before-getting-engaged/page/3#post-581271 Fri, 01 Jan 2010 16:24:52 +0000 SapphireSun 581271@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I don't think I would have even felt comfortable going to a bridal store and asking to try on dresses before I was officially engaged, but to each their own.&nbsp; Also, I had a really difficult time finding a dress I was sure I would love even 7 months from when I bought it, so I can't imagine buying one two years our or something.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/buying-a-dress-before-getting-engaged/page/3#post-581258 Fri, 01 Jan 2010 16:17:56 +0000 Tiddles 581258@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Wow. I was super taken aback by the crazy, psycho etc statements. Firstly, be careful ladies(and gents too) about using those words-they mean different things to different people and it's like using the word retarded. Using a word as a derogatory comment that is an illness/condition shows a great lack of tact. And the whole nursery before baby quote was just uncalled for. I won't even dignify that with more of a comment.</p> <p>Now, about buying a dress. Firstly, to some women it is JUST a dress. They don't need to have their families, friends etc to go with them. And for some it is just another part of the whole 'to do'&nbsp;list&nbsp;for their wedding-no great emotional tie/expectation to go along with it. And there is nothing wrong with that. Just like there is nothing wrong with wanting everyone close to you to go with you. Each person is different.</p> <p>I don't 'get' the whole waiting to know your venue/season/theme. I thought the purpose of a wedding dress (besides getting married in it ;) ) was to be a dress that makes you feel AWESOME! To me a dress should be something that makes you feel like the most beautiful and the most special you have ever felt in your life. Who cares if it doesn't 'go' with your venue. I have been to a beautiful church wedding where the dress would probably have 'gone' better in a garden setting. And you know what? No one cared! She was beautiful! You want to wear a fancy dress to your beach wedding? Go ahead! It's your (and your intended's) day. Isn't the point to make you (and your intended) happy?&nbsp;</p> <p>If you find a dress that makes you feel all wonderful, and it's on sale, got to have it etc then go for it! Honestly, I would rather find a dress that I love and makes me feel great and get it BEFORE the emotional fog sets in. &nbsp;I personally know women that have made bad (in their own words) wedding dress/shoes/veil choices BECAUSE they waited until it was 'proper'. Time and financial constraints change once you have that ring on your finger. If you can have the time/better financial position that will make your wedding day much easier and less stressful they why wouldn't you do it?!&nbsp;</p> <p>I know for some women it is unthinkable to get the dress before the ring (or even for sure the guy) but that is them. And more power to them! But don't EVER say someone else is WRONG just because it isn't what you would do. Would I have 10+ attendants (bride and groom side)? NO! For me that is too much, but I won't criticize someone else for doing it. It is their wedding and their day and they should do whatever makes them happy.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/buying-a-dress-before-getting-engaged/page/3#post-580667 Fri, 01 Jan 2010 07:16:51 +0000 ei_laura 580667@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I got the proposal today, so it all worked out rather well, actually ;)</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/buying-a-dress-before-getting-engaged/page/3#post-555930 Sun, 20 Dec 2009 17:08:56 +0000 jwinnings 555930@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>honestly, if i found "the dress" and knew a proposal was coming then yeah, i would buy it.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/buying-a-dress-before-getting-engaged/page/3#post-555906 Sun, 20 Dec 2009 16:33:52 +0000 leelee 555906@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Here's my 2 cents..I'm must be super nuts..I bought a dress on ebay before my FI and I were engaged...I've since sold it and only paid A$50 for it..but at that moment, I loved it!...plus...we've owned our house together now for 4 years and have been togethe for almost 8....and lastly, I'd say buying a wedding dress before youre engaged is nothing like having a nursery before your pregnant....that comment blew me away!&nbsp; yikes....</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/buying-a-dress-before-getting-engaged/page/3#post-555878 Sun, 20 Dec 2009 15:56:46 +0000 ImHerQueen 555878@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I agree with Ei Laura for some of us the decision to buy the dress first was just the way it worked out.</p> <p>My girl and I have been together for over a year now and have known that we will get married almost from the start.</p> <p>We also were in a long distance relationship I in Oklahoma and her in Auckland New Zealand.&nbsp; After being a couple for 4 months I moved to New Zealand to be with her.&nbsp; I have to say that was a much bigger commitment than the dress I am about to buy.&nbsp; I have found the dress online and will be ordering it and having it shipped to my best friend who is coming to visit in March.&nbsp; She will bring it with her because David's bridal will not ship to New Zealand.&nbsp; They will to 3rd world countries but not to New Zealand.</p> <p>She has not asked me yet offically but I know the commitment and intention is there.&nbsp; She actually seen the dress and told me if it was my perfect dress then we will get it.&nbsp; We are not doing all of the traditional things because I will know what she is wearing (White suit) and she will know what I am wearing (THE dress).&nbsp; I do not think that its crazy it just the way it works sometimes.&nbsp; We will not be apart the night before but we will not be together much the day of due to me being a girlie girl and her not so much.</p> <p>We know our colous, type of venue, time of year and our attendents.&nbsp; I have family in the states so getting them here will take planning.&nbsp;</p> <p>I will say this I did the whole wedding thing once before with my ex husband and I did it the way you think your suppose to.&nbsp; Engagment then planning but it was not the wedding I wanted.&nbsp; He asked me in March 1998&nbsp;and we were married in June 1998.&nbsp; I did not get into the dress shopping or any of that.&nbsp; I did not care&nbsp;really to be honest (now I know why).</p> <p>This time I am going to be the Queen of the day.&nbsp; My lovely wife to be tells me all the time that I am her Queen (hince the name) and so I will have my perfect wedding even if it means I plan prematurly as some of you have said.&nbsp;</p> <p>Her and I both want a very elegent and intimate wedding and it will be perfect.&nbsp;</p> <p>I do not believe that a b2b should worry about what others will think if she&nbsp;gets the dress early.&nbsp; Most girls picture their wedding day from the time they are a child ( I did) and to get it all perfect sometimes you have to go outside the normal traditions.&nbsp; If you find a dress that is you and&nbsp;it is&nbsp;THE dress then you should get it.&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/buying-a-dress-before-getting-engaged/page/3#post-469322 Fri, 13 Nov 2009 20:41:37 +0000 ei_laura 469322@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>A few months ago we decided to take advantage of the low interest rates and big first homebuyer grants from the government, and are about to lay the slab on our new house :) So first came dress, second came house. A far bigger commitment in my eyes.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/buying-a-dress-before-getting-engaged/page/2#post-466387 Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:33:03 +0000 cheerful 466387@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I agree, daniellemybelle, that words like "desperate" don't help the conversation very much. They are hurtful. I think the reactions do point to the fact that many people find their wedding dresses to be very significant - and it's not just consumerism. I know many people who have worn their mother's and grandmother's dresses because of how much they valued the sentiment of that. I, embarrassingly, only found my dress on the third try; there was something different about it that made me feel like I was really truly getting married. I agree that there is a fetishization of objects around weddings that makes no sense whatsoever. Spending money on lots of "must have" items, trinkets, and the rest has gotten out of control. Going back to the buying a dress before an engagement - I think it points to the sad fact that a lot of women want to get married more than their boyfriends do and sometimes that leads to broken hearts and unworn wedding dresses.</p>