Weddingbee Boards Topic: church vs. civil ceremony

Weddingbee Boards Topic: church vs. civil ceremony http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Topic: church vs. civil ceremony en Tue, 14 Feb 2012 10:24:07 +0000 ms.pascua on "church vs. civil ceremony" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/church-vs-civil-ceremony#post-451159 Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:04:09 +0000 ms.pascua 451159@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <h2>@ KLP: I couldn't have said it better (esp. about Homosexuality).  As Catholics, it is our duty to fight for social justice, which includes equal RIGHTS to all persons.  We should not deny any person, hetero/ or homosexual, their RIGHT to a civil union...marriage is a whole other issue, as it's a sacrament.  As such, within the Catholic Church, marriage is denied to any couple who are not open to the creation of children as a part of their union. </h2> lilyfaith on "church vs. civil ceremony" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/church-vs-civil-ceremony#post-443232 Mon, 02 Nov 2009 13:22:32 +0000 lilyfaith 443232@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Hi, I am not Catholic, but as you expressed that this is emotional, I thought I'd throw in my thoughts: FI and I also struggle with this issue greatly. I was raised Lutheran and have a lot of issues with the church and its stances on the same things you have mentioned (homosexuality, pre-marital sex, etc.) so we are having a mostly civil service that does not take place in a church, but will (hopefully, we haven't asked yet) be performed by my uncle who is a pastor.  Struggling to define your faith is just that - a struggle. Feel free to "church hop," have discussions with priests, pastors, your FI, friends etc. And please don't let anyone make you feel like a bad person for being open about such struggles! Questioning the religion you were brought up in is completely normal and a personal process. Your wedding service should be a reflection of you and your FI, you deserve that on your day! KLP2010 on "church vs. civil ceremony" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/church-vs-civil-ceremony#post-443192 Mon, 02 Nov 2009 13:10:36 +0000 KLP2010 443192@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ 2nd, 3rd, or 4th the talking to the priest. I think it also requires some soul searching on WHY you disagree with the church on certain issues and what it is about those issues that cause your reactions. For Instance - The church is fine with homosexuality - however - as the purpose of a relationship is for bonding (which CAN happen between a same sex couple) and procreation (which CANT happen between a same sex couple) it is against Marriage (i.e. Marriage by God's definition not man's definition of taxes and power of attorney marriage).  They also ask that you abstain from sexual interactions as sex... while bonding... is supposed to lead up to the one flesh union and be open to life.  As that can't happen... well... that's why they're against it. It has nothing to do with preventing someones loved one from visiting them in a hospital, making medical decisions, or taxes... but it looks at the root of what marriage is...  So, as it seems the original posters main issues with the church lie within Sexuality and Marriage... I would have suggested speaking with a priest, doing some soul searching, and if those issues still are there... than why get married in a church where you don't agree with their views of the use and purpose of marriage. Sure, the church can seem un-caring, old fashioned, and un-cool... but it's the same way Jesus started things 2000 yrs ago.  Also, EVERY Christian belief was against any form of contraception in EVERY situation until 1930.  So, Christians using contraception today are actually a VERY small number compared to all christians that have been.  In the 1930's the Anglican church was hesitant, but changed to allow BC in "very serious" situations within a marriage.  It took 30 years for all the other churches to actually re-write their DOCTRINE on the issue.  All, save for the Catholic Church. So really, it's not just the churches views... it was the same view for all christian denominations for ninteenhundred and thirty years after the birth of christ.   John Calvin - Father of presbyterian church - "Contraception should be condemend"  Wesley - Methodist church - "Contraception is very displeasing to God and the evidence of vile affections." Martin Luther - Lutheran  - "those who use contraceptives are logs, stoic and swine." He then called withdrawl "worse than incest" and "worse than adultery" So do some research on where issues lie, talk to a priest or a solid theology instructor (one who will tell you the truth of the churches teachings and not their own personal belief), Perhaps go to mass a bit more, experience the Sacrament of Reconciliation again, and then decide from there.  If the only issues lie in the Sexual and Marriage realm I hear a lot of Catholics say that experiencing the faith and Christ through the SACRAMENT of the marriage actually brings them closer to christ and a whole new realm of understanding the faith.  After all, the mass is essentially the Marriage of Christ to his church. I wish the best of luck in your soul search.  I know the post was orig. made a while ago... but no matter what your decision wound up being, don't give up on your faith, it's not easy... but you may be surprised on what you find. Jacqi on "church vs. civil ceremony" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/church-vs-civil-ceremony#post-442042 Mon, 02 Nov 2009 06:09:59 +0000 Jacqi 442042@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ I would 100% recommend for anyone in this situation to talk to a priest and begin marriage prep in the church. The worst thing that could happen is that you get some marriage prep counseling, but decide you don't want to get married in the church, and at least know you fully explored the options. But on the other hand, could reconnect with the church, feel spiritual renewal, and find a home in the church where you can receive the sacrament of marriage and eventually raise your children. bvig on "church vs. civil ceremony" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/church-vs-civil-ceremony#post-442003 Mon, 02 Nov 2009 05:47:15 +0000 bvig 442003@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ You still have some time before your wedding.  Perhaps you could explore some of the churches in your area to see if there's a comfortable fit for you, whether Catholic or Protestant.  I'm Presbyterian and my husband is Catholic and we ended up getting married at the Catholic church he went to high school at but had a ceremony without communion instead of a full mass.  Protestants and Catholics have different ideas of what communion entails and who should be involved and so we just opted for the ceremony.  domestic_cat on "church vs. civil ceremony" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/church-vs-civil-ceremony#post-441899 Mon, 02 Nov 2009 03:40:39 +0000 domestic_cat 441899@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Hi there Ottawabride2011,  I'm in a very similar situation to you and I have chosen to have a civil ceremony with a religious blessing.  Also my FI is Church of England so we thought this would be a good compromise, and like some of the others above, I believe civil doesn't equal non spiritual (perhaps you could add some prayers to the service along with a blessing?).  Also 'normally' if one partner is baptised Catholic and the other baptised of any other Christian sect , that should be sufficient to have a full Catholic ceremony and certainly a blessing, but that may vary from priest to priest, so if you do decide on a full Catholic ceremony I'd start the ball rolling sooner rather than later on getting FI baptised. I'm very interested in Chelseamorning's post about the option of the convalidation at a later stage, as I wasn't aware this was a possibility and think it sounds like a great thing to keep in mind.  Here's a couple of links you might find useful:-  <a href="http://catholicism.about.com/od/catholicliving/f/FAQ_Marriage.htm">http://catholicism.about.com/od/catholicliving/f/FAQ_Marriage.htm</a> <a href="http://www.confetti.co.uk/article/view/5020-8179-0-Can_we_have_a_religious_blessing_after_a_non_religious_civil_ceremony__Civil_Wedding.do">http://www.confetti.co.uk/article/view/5020-8179-0-Can_we_have_a_religious_blessing_after_a_non_religious_civil_ceremony__Civil_Wedding.do</a> The first thing I would do is speak with your local Church/Priest as they are best employed to offer advice on blessings etc.  If you would like more advice or information surrounding how we're going about our blessing feel free to PM me, but please don't feel obliged :-)   Mrs. Spring on "church vs. civil ceremony" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/church-vs-civil-ceremony#post-337743 Tue, 01 Sep 2009 14:52:01 +0000 Mrs. Spring 337743@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ @ RumbleBee - I voted no on OttawaBride's poll, but it's not because I don't appreciate the importance of a Catholic wedding in my life.  I was married in the Catholic church, and I am practicing Catholic.  The great thing about WeddingBee is that you can get a ton of different opinions.  I'm sure some of the people who voted no are non-Catholic, just like some of them (myself included) are Catholic, or have had Catholic weddings, but understand that it's not the right choice for everyone.  From OttawaBride's post, it sounded to me like having a Catholic wedding was not the best choice for her, and I voted accordingly.  One of the things I love about this website is that we get a huge variety of responses, and not all of them are from the same viewpoint as mine!  I feel like the decisions I make are more well-rounded and thought out because of the different views expressed here.  :) RumbleBee on "church vs. civil ceremony" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/church-vs-civil-ceremony#post-337723 Tue, 01 Sep 2009 14:30:15 +0000 RumbleBee 337723@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ No offense to anyone here, but I am a bit saddened that so many "Catholics" on this board, are voting to have a "civil" wedding. I would have thought that being Catholic, that a Catholic ceremony/mass would have been important to most. Unless, there are non-Catholics voting in this forum (against you having a Catholic mass), the numbers may indicate a lack of understanding or appreciation for the beauty of a Catholic ceremony/mass and our faith. GOD BLESS...   P.S. --- I'm personally having a wedding at the Catholic Church... without a doubt Tanya123 on "church vs. civil ceremony" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/church-vs-civil-ceremony#post-331386 Sat, 29 Aug 2009 11:04:37 +0000 Tanya123 331386@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ No, you should go to church, as much as you can! And if all you muster is Christmas and Easter, the Church is welcoming.   But you should abstain from receiving communion, if you are not in a state of grace.  I'd recommend talking to a priest and finding more about Catholic teaching, before just giving up.  YOu might find out the teachings make sense.  Even if Catholicism isn't the easiest faith.  Usually the best things in life we have to put some work into.  Just my opinion. Feel free to PM me if you have questions. OttawaBride2011 on "church vs. civil ceremony" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/church-vs-civil-ceremony#post-330593 Fri, 28 Aug 2009 16:24:59 +0000 OttawaBride2011 330593@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ @Tanya123 - so, just so i am clear, would it be better for me to never go to church at all? i don't want to get into a flame war on weddingbee because i feel like this is a very nurturing environment and i don't want to get on anyone's bad side, however, i have found this post very enlightening. i'm now almost certain that i am going to research some other options and find the best spirtual place for me. i'm not convinced that the catholic church is that place...