http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Topic: Curious why you're getting married now? en Thu, 18 Mar 2010 01:58:25 +0000 http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/curious-why-youre-getting-married-now#post-96257 Sat, 06 Dec 2008 23:07:30 +0000 hh2o 96257@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>we won't live together until after we're married... sooooo... there's no way we want to wait until we can afford to blow $30000 on an event to start our lives together. therefore, cheap but sweet reception now = lifetime of bliss. </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/curious-why-youre-getting-married-now#post-96171 Fri, 05 Dec 2008 19:29:25 +0000 Wiglet 96171@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>@ loveletter: Brava! You took the words outta my mouth.</p> <p>@ curiosity: I'm sorry that some peeps questioned the way your future in-laws feel about you marrying their son. It's certainly a very practical question for your FMIL to ask, particularly if she has nontraditional views on marriage. </p> <p>I skimmed the comments and I haven't seen many posters like me, so I'll go ahead and share my situation: I left my job last June to move with my fiance to Chicago so that he could start law school. With the down economy, I can NOT find another job. So we're both living off of his student loans. We're definitely not in a position to be throwing ourselves a wedding (even a modest one!)</p> <p>However, we're very blessed to have families who can pay for our wedding. Yes, it's been a headache to have my parents in on the planning, and yes, there are times when I wish I could be planning this wedding five years from now when we'll both have enough money, but I can't imagine waiting to become his wife. In the end, it might not be the smartest decision to spend money on&nbsp;a wedding, but we're keeping it reasonable (under 20k) and dammit, I want to be a princess for a day! There! I said it! Okay, I'm kidding (a little bit) - I really just want to have a day where everyone we love is there to see us commit to each other forever. There's no way that I can justify that urge without sounding like a product of the wedding industry, but that's how I feel and I'm lucky to be able to go for it. Even if sometimes I want to rob a bank so that my parents will get off my back about where I'm spending the wedding money. </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/curious-why-youre-getting-married-now#post-95736 Tue, 02 Dec 2008 23:11:03 +0000 tberry 95736@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Iam in my 30s and he just turned 40.&nbsp; We are traditional in that we believe marriage comes before kids. Since we aren't getting any younger we don't want to wait too long to start trying.&nbsp; It may take a few years before we get pregnant.&nbsp; My MOH tried for several years before she finally got pregnant.&nbsp; The longer we wait the higher the chance for complications. As it is our engagement is only 20 days short of 2 years.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/curious-why-youre-getting-married-now#post-95698 Tue, 02 Dec 2008 17:25:36 +0000 bellenga 95698@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>We'll be marrying in 2009 andprobably only have a 6 mo engagement at best..he does know I am a planner by nature, and do want things well.</p> <p>While just waiting now for the ring (any day now), I did most of the planning already and am PLANNED OUT.&nbsp; I know exactly what I want pretty much, we just have to iron out some easy stuff when the push comes to shove.</p> <p>A long engagement isn't what either of us want.&nbsp; We're both financially established, and I am a mother of a 10 yo from my prior marriage.&nbsp; That being said, I am also wise with $$.&nbsp; We could afford what we want, but we will also be very realistic too.</p> <p>And if it got to be too much stress, we'd elope.&nbsp; </p> <p>If that happens, Royal Hideaway or Round Hill has my vote!&nbsp; </p> <p>I think that it's only ONE day out of your life.&nbsp; What is more important?&nbsp; One day or one lifetime together?&nbsp; &nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/curious-why-youre-getting-married-now#post-95686 Tue, 02 Dec 2008 14:46:30 +0000 ErinMarieMack 95686@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>We got engaged in 7/07 and are getting married in 06/09. My parents are paying for a generous portion, but I wanted some extras so we decided to wait to get married until we could pay for it all in full. While I am excited to have no debt afterward, I do wish we were already married (we are also waiting to move in together)! I think the right time to get married is when you have found the one you can not live without:) I love what others said about tomorrow not being promised and about the most beautiful part of weddings being the love, not the extras:) </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/curious-why-youre-getting-married-now#post-95674 Tue, 02 Dec 2008 14:01:06 +0000 curiousity 95674@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Wow, thanks for all the comments!&nbsp; </p> <p>I admit that I was a little put off by the poster who thinks that my FMIL may be trying to keep me from getting married to FI.&nbsp; I left out a lot of personal details in my original post because they didn't have a lot to do with what I was asking, but for what it's worth, my FI have been together for 10 years and I am very much a part of his family and have felt loved by them from the beginning of our relationship.&nbsp; So, no.&nbsp; That's not it.</p> <p>In my situation, there are cultural&nbsp;aspects that would&nbsp;put my wedding way beyond my budget due to the number of people that we would need to invite.&nbsp; By &quot;need&quot;, I mean friends of parents, grandparents, friends of friends etc.&nbsp; It may seem selfish, but if I am paying for the entire wedding myself, I don't want to have to invite an extra 100 people that I have never met.&nbsp; To me a wedding should be personal and happy and spent with only the people that I know and love.&nbsp; Not a bunch of people to fill the seats, eat the food and then leave.&nbsp; For this reason, I do not want to ask for money and do not want money offered for the wedding because I know what would be expected. </p> <p>If anyone is interested, we have decided to forego the wedding that we had been planning and have a small ceremony and dinner with 10-15 family and friends.&nbsp; It's much more us.</p> <p>Best wishes to all of your planning your day!&nbsp; I hope that it is everything that you hoped&nbsp;for.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/curious-why-youre-getting-married-now#post-95670 Tue, 02 Dec 2008 13:30:47 +0000 chelseamorning 95670@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>We got married when we did because we were ready to make a lifelong commitment to one another. Graciously my parents offered to pay for the wedding---from their point of view there was never any alternative; they wanted to. I kept trying to pay for things myself and my mom wouldn't hear of it. </p> <p>If they hadn't offered, we would have had a much smaller and more bare-bones wedding now and then maybe saved up for a bigger party with vow renewal a few years down the road, versus waiting a few years to get married with a big party too. The emphasis for us was on the getting married, not the party.&nbsp; </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/curious-why-youre-getting-married-now#post-95658 Tue, 02 Dec 2008 11:58:59 +0000 SpaceC06 95658@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>For my FI and I we are getting married now because we are ready to take the next step in our relationship legally and spiritually.&nbsp; We actually are in a great financial position to pay for the wedding in its entirety without debt; however my parents have graciously offered to pay.&nbsp; They have elected to do so on their own freewill and do it &quot;because they can&quot;.&nbsp; </p> <p>Needless to say we are both frugal (which is why we are in a great financial situation) and this ultimately lends ourselves to a budget friendly wedding, because we know that a lavish and fantastic party can be had without going in debt.</p> <p>&nbsp;Not to speak for the other girls, but I think you find that they are trying to get the most bang for their buck in this economy, which I believe is very practical.</p> <p>Ultiamtely, I think the time to marry is when you and your FI are ready emotionally to do so, a marriage can occur on any type of budget.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/curious-why-youre-getting-married-now#post-95657 Tue, 02 Dec 2008 11:55:36 +0000 Chela429 95657@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>My fiance and I live in NY.&nbsp; We have been a couple for less than 2 years, and we fell in love very quickly and knew we wanted to be married to each other.&nbsp; Our engagement will last approximately 1 year.&nbsp; When we planned our wedding we decided on a budget of about $35K, which at the time seemed reasonable for us plus $10k for 3 weeks in Italy.&nbsp; Approximately 250 people for a wedding in NY.&nbsp; I make $40K a year and he makes 3 times that before bonuses (Wall Street).&nbsp; We are even in the process of buying a house, we put the deposit down in September and are hoping to close in the next two weeks.&nbsp; All in all we were living within our means and still are, but the down turn in the economy is scary for us both.&nbsp; He works on Wall Street and I work in marketing, credit card marketing.&nbsp; If either of us were to lose our jobs it would be a bad situation.&nbsp; My parents have offered to pay for up to $2K of my wedding dress, and $3K cash, not including their guests various cousins, friends, etc which will amount to about 20 people above the 250 my fh and I are inviting.&nbsp; They are doing it cause they want to.&nbsp; I am starting to wish we reigned it in a bit.&nbsp; All in all, I would not want to delay my day because of the economy but if I had had a crystal ball I would have scaled back a lot. </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/curious-why-youre-getting-married-now#post-95656 Tue, 02 Dec 2008 11:17:10 +0000 AmyM83 95656@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I agree with loveletter. I don't want to spend a ton of money on a wedding. It really is just a party and I want it to be special, but it is more about my FI and I than lavish decor or gourmet food. Plus, I enjoy doing things myself and take pride in being able to say that I did all my flowers, only spent $600 on a designer gown at a charity sale, and had our wedding at a beautiful outdoor location for free. I admit I did spend more money than I wanted to on photography, but the pictures and memories are the only things from that day that will last. </p> <p>&nbsp;One more thing: if you wait until your have enough money to do anything in your life (wedding, having a baby, traveling, etc) you will never do it. People never have &quot;enough&quot; money, so live in the moment and do what feels right.</p>