Weddingbee Boards Topic: Destination Wedding Freakout!

Weddingbee Boards Topic: Destination Wedding Freakout! http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Topic: Destination Wedding Freakout! en Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:27:51 +0000 BeachyBride2010 on "Destination Wedding Freakout!" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/destination-wedding-freakout#post-268935 Mon, 20 Jul 2009 17:13:33 +0000 BeachyBride2010 268935@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ mmmm what a mess!  We booked our destination wedding in Jamaica over a year ago, signed contract with the resort etc.  In June they called the travel agent to say "we are not able to honor our commitment to the _____ / ______ wedding party;  We can re-schedule or re-locate or refund your money"  Hello???? Excuse me??? STD's sent, $$$$$$ Invitations on the dining room table? Can you say signed contract??? Frustration is an understatement... so, I go to plan B and try to go with the flow.  We opted to re-locate from Negril to another beach, but it is a bummer... my plan was for sunset ceremony, and now we will not see the sun set due to the North facing beach. but here is the bottom line; It's not cancer, it's going to be fine.  At the end of the day, you get to marry the person you are crazy about, and want to spend your life with.  Being together is more important... MOH/BM whatever other friends and family that will miss it... think of it as their loss, not yours.     BeachyBride2010 on "Destination Wedding Freakout!" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/destination-wedding-freakout#post-268933 Mon, 20 Jul 2009 17:06:58 +0000 BeachyBride2010 268933@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ mmmm what a mess!  We booked our destination wedding in Jamaica over a year ago, signed contract with the resort etc.  In June they called the travel agent to say "we are not able to honor our commitment to the _____ / ______ wedding party;  We can re-schedule or re-locate or refund your money"  Hello???? Excuse me??? STD's sent, $$$$$$ Invitations on the dining room table? Can you say signed contract??? Frustration is an understatement... so, I go to plan B and try to go with the flow.  We opted to re-locate from Negril to another beach, but it is a bummer... my plan was for sunset ceremony, and now we will not see the sun set due to the North facing beach. but here is the bottom line; It's not cancer, it's going to be fine.  At the end of the day, you get to marry the person you are crazy about, and want to spend your life with.  Being together is more important... MOH/BM whatever other friends and family that will miss it... think of it as their loss, not yours.     sweetnenz on "Destination Wedding Freakout!" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/destination-wedding-freakout#post-260220 Tue, 14 Jul 2009 17:35:54 +0000 sweetnenz 260220@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ I'm also having a destination wedidng,and while I want everyone to be there, I am not upset at those who initialy said they would be there and later backed out, like H2B's parents family.  We planned the wedding WE wanted with money WE had.  You can't be upset because people's plans change, especially they way things are right now.  You said 550 was alot for you, imagine 1200.  While I understand your upset because they initially agreed, then backed out, you have to keep in mind its your wedding and you have to expect some people not to attend, it happens.   Sorry, hope it works out for you. alikweiss on "Destination Wedding Freakout!" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/destination-wedding-freakout#post-258513 Mon, 13 Jul 2009 18:27:57 +0000 alikweiss 258513@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ I feel AWFUL for you - I absolutely understand what you are going through.  it seems as though you are someone who is honest and trusting and works very hard to make things possible for people who PROMISED you they would be there for you.  I'm sure you've been there for them in the past when they needed you. Unfortunately, most of them probably could come, they just don't want to.  That's what I've realized - some people like the idea of things but when it comes down to it, they are selfish and forget their promises and commitments. It's a learning experience - one to remember the next time one of them wants or needs something.  Yes, $600 is a lot of money but from the way it sounds, other than your inlaws, people could afford it.  It's a freakin' DEAL for 5 nights plus air in Jamaica - $120 a day?  Are you kidding me?  People spend that much on a night out.  I spent $2000 on a wedding last year when I was the Maid of Honor and the bride didn't even put aside time at the reception for me to give the speech I spent months preparing. People are selfish and inconsiderate.  Cut your losses, lose the deposits, and take any money you have left and the two of you go somewhere fabulous and elope ALONE.  It's the marriage that's important, not giving someone's aunt the chance to dance the YMCA and eat free food.  spaniel on "Destination Wedding Freakout!" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/destination-wedding-freakout#post-258488 Mon, 13 Jul 2009 18:02:27 +0000 spaniel 258488@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Ugh, I'm sorry. Looks like you might just have to eat the deposits. :( NickoleM123 on "Destination Wedding Freakout!" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/destination-wedding-freakout#post-256018 Sun, 12 Jul 2009 08:55:28 +0000 NickoleM123 256018@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Hello ya'll.  I just wanted to say thanks for all of your honest opinions, words of wisdom, and ideas. As for my stupidity (and thats me calling myself that) on booking the villa and stuff w/o getting deposits first, yes I understand I was an idiot... However, I had good reason.  All of those that had said they were going, were our parents and IMMEDIATE family and my best friend of 19 years. How do you not trust your parents or bothers and sisters? I apparently am more nieve than I thought and have officially gotten duped. My best friend swore to me that she would be with me anywhere I was on my wedding day.  And when she helped to talk me into a destination wedding, even said she'd be with me then.  I think where I'm hurt the most is that she is the one not going. I understand, times are hard, life isn't cheap.  But I worked, and worked at getting the best prices for everyone.  @<a href="/profile/carri38707">carri38707</a> Don't count the villa's out just yet.  Do all of your homework.  The villa I found has been cheaper all the way around from a resort.  I looked at every resort on the island of Jamacia... EVERY.  This villa had the best bang for it's buck, even though I still had to find and pay for a wedding coordinator as well. Even with people backing out, the villa is still our best option. (just wish I could get some of my overpayment back) and while my wedding I have planned in Jamaica can't get any smaller (no decorations, no reception, no anything special) I'm still happy with our decision to go away and do it.  THANK YOU for reminding me why I "want" to get married!  @<a href="/profile/nurset0409">NurseT0409</a> You and I have to be sisters... your predicament is after my own heart.  Everything you just described is our wedding to a 't'.  I'm hoping all goes well, and people realize that we're doing this for us, not them. @<a href="/profile/engagedtopanda">EngagedToPanda</a> While I can't have a "stunning" wedding at all now, I'm still going to go with our destination wedding... I think the most important part of me having it, is because that's what "he" wanted.  I know that sounds silly, but as most of us know, the guys never really get much of what they want when it does come to the wedding... this is my... lets say "sacrafice" to him.  This is my gift to him.  And I'm so happy I am. @<a href="/profile/quiche">quiche</a> Yes, the villa has already been booked, and a deposit made.  While $550 isn't a bunch of money, it is a bunch when it comes to how small out budget is from the beginning. @<a href="/profile/northernazbride">northernazbride</a> As for a party when we get back, that's something that pretty much wont happen.  One, I can't afford it, Two, we're from such a small place, that people think that it's rude to "throw a party for yourself"... even if it is a wedding reception.  I just threw one for a friend of mine, and alot of people didn't come, or thought it was tacky. "They should have gotten married here, if they wanted us to celebrate with them."  So, I just don't feel like that would be a great idea, and more so a waste of money.  More than likely, we'd end up spending way too much on food/drink and etc.  Now, If I lived in a large town/city (where people had manners) I'd be all about it... I'd even run up my credit card,just to be able to enjoy that day with my nearest and dearest... people just don't do that here. :( (which totally bums me out!) All in all, I think I'll say what most of you rprobably wanted to say... SUCK IT UP! :-D it's my wedding, I'll do it how I want, and I'll make the very best out of every bit of it. Thanks again ladies... I really appreciate all that you have said.  Now, if any of you have connetions in Jamaica, and can at least help me get cheap decorations, HELP A GIRL OUT!  LOL.  (J/K) Thanks again! ColorsToBe on "Destination Wedding Freakout!" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/destination-wedding-freakout#post-255967 Sun, 12 Jul 2009 01:09:08 +0000 ColorsToBe 255967@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ We had our destination wedding just as the economy tanked.  Alot of our guests backed out.  We understood.  Many of our friends have lost jobs and the ones that are still working are having a difficult.  It's a bad time for everyone.  While we were sad that the plans changes we of course understood.  We worked out a deal with the hotel that helped a bit. Perhaps you can do the same. We thought of it as a honeymoon with family& friends and then had a party when we got back.  It was fun wearing my dress a second time. I really do feel for you.  We went through the same thing. There is nothing you can do about it so just go with the situation and enjoy yourself.  I agree with the above, what is most important is the two of you - you don't need anyone else.    carri38707 on "Destination Wedding Freakout!" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/destination-wedding-freakout#post-255480 Sat, 11 Jul 2009 10:31:44 +0000 carri38707 255480@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ *sigh~*  My heart goes out to you!  I'm in the process of planning a dW and this is my nightmare! I think you asked the most important question in the end: How do you go back to "wanting" to have your wedding?  Well, I hope you don't need to look further than the man who will be standing next to you at the wedding. It's about you and him coming together in union.  Hope that helps you to breathe deep and if I were you, IMHO, I'll start doing the math. Not only how much $ will be lost but saved from further loss if you were to go ahead and made your DW smaller - heck, you only need the two of ya and your parents as witnesses! How important is it to have all the rest of ppl?  Can you just throw a small, casual reception (park picnic?) when you get back? It really is terrible that people said they will come and backed out.  For this very reason, I'm keeping the initial budget/count much less and will be having our guests put up the deposit and etc. themselve (hopefully they will deal with the resort directly).  I was shying away from renting Villas only because I thought it'd be more complicated to negotiate than a AI resort that has a wedding package...and I think you helped me to seal the decision...no Villas... *hugs and lots more hugs* Hope venting on this site helped a bit and sending you many good thoughts.  Hope it'll all work out great in the end.  Just remember - you have the man of your dreams!   NurseT0409 on "Destination Wedding Freakout!" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/destination-wedding-freakout#post-255464 Sat, 11 Jul 2009 09:57:13 +0000 NurseT0409 255464@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ I just wanted to add that me and my Fiance also just recently decided to do destination...mainly b/c we are paying for EVERYthing ourselves. We originally had a church booked and a Wedding date set, but we couldnt find a caterer cheaper than $3000 for our reception, let alone having to pay for a Rehearsal dinner, decorations, and $1000 alone for a 20 minute ceremony in the church. My fiance came home one day and said 'let's just go get married somewhere.' At first I said no, but then researched and asked previous destination brides/friends to see if it could work financially. Indeed it has/is! Now that we are breaking up the traditional aspect of our Wedding day, we now feel comfortable not providing a dinner at our Home Reception...we will still have all the normal reception stuff, even snacks and Wedding cake, but no dinner. That alone saved us $3000 + 20% of what would be added to that bill just for using the reception halls kitchen! Before booking anything, we told our parents and they seemed happy for us. However, as i mentioned before...neither of our parents have money--or i should say are in great debt, so they werent able to help us with anything to begin with. We knew they'd have trouble paying for this trip but we knew with enough time to plan, they'd be able to come. Since we broke the news, my Fiance's family has been nothing but drama. THEY want us to be married here so they can see their cousin/nephew get married. However, we refuse to put ourselves in debt for ONE day since we are paying for this ourselves. Why cant they just accept/understand that unconditionally? I know it's a special day but we are ok with just saying our vows to eachother in front of our parents and that's it. Supposedly everyone is on board with supporting us now, even knowing most of them cant make it, but it's been one thing after the other since then. Now my fiance's grandmother isnt coming, even when one of her son's was going to pay for her to go--and i mean pay for EVERYthing. Her excuses are crappy for not going and i know my fiance is hurt, but we now have already booked this and are dead set doing it this way. I just feel like now our "day" is not going to be as happy or special b/c my fiance will be missing his grandma, or any others who we know cant come (and are making us feel guilty for it). Is anyone else dealing with this, or do we just have dramatic families?? Since when did planning OUR Wedding, become planning EVERYone else's ideal Wedding for us?? I think I've cried every other day dealing with the family drama and Destination. It's neverending!! I really just want to tell anyone else who complains about this to 'F' off!! :-) peanutlovespumpkin on "Destination Wedding Freakout!" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/destination-wedding-freakout#post-252796 Wed, 08 Jul 2009 20:10:07 +0000 peanutlovespumpkin 252796@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ I am also planning on having my wedding in another country, and it will be a "destination wedding" for all of my friends who live here in the US.  While I am really hoping that everyone will be able to come, I definitely am not expecting it; in fact, I feel guilty that it may be so expensive for people to attend.  For this reason, I am not having bridesmaids so no one feels obligated to come, and I am having a more informal cocktail party when we get back so that everyone who couldn't make it can celebrate with us later.   It's no secret that although destination weddings are less expensive for the bride and groom, they are much more expensive for the guests to attend. I think all of us destination brides should keep this in mind and not take it personally when guests can't come.  However, it sucks that all of your loved ones told you they were coming and then backed out!  It's probably difficult for guests to turn down the invite when they first get it, since the date may seem far away and they are excited about the wedding so don't really consider the costs, but as it gets closer reality sets in ... I guess what I am saying is that we shouldn't make expectations about how much people can afford to pay to come to our weddings - other people's finances are their business - but once people say they are coming they need to hold to it!