Weddingbee Boards Topic: Encores are entitled to nothing?

Weddingbee Boards Topic: Encores are entitled to nothing? http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Topic: Encores are entitled to nothing? en Tue, 14 Feb 2012 13:55:44 +0000 CurlyDreamer on "Encores are entitled to nothing?" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/encores-are-entitled-to-nothing/page/2#post-456929 Sun, 08 Nov 2009 20:05:52 +0000 CurlyDreamer 456929@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ @bellenaga: Thanks for the warm welcome! It's nice to know there are others who share a similar story who have also found a happy ending. Love is an amazing thing! bellenga on "Encores are entitled to nothing?" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/encores-are-entitled-to-nothing/page/2#post-456208 Sun, 08 Nov 2009 11:28:35 +0000 bellenga 456208@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Welcome to the Encore board CurlyDreamer.  And yes, you do deserve a day where you both celebrate your love and your new family bond. Many of us here, like you, endured pain and outright heartache and sadness.  To even open your heart enough to let love back in at a later date is simply brave to me.  It took me quite a few years to even think I could ever entertain the thought of dating, muchless ever falling in love again after my heart was broken into a million pieces by the actions of my former husband. But love is a gift and a blessing.  Those who know us, have gone thru this with us, understand why it's so important we embrace this, and will be happy for us imho. Am I registering?  Yes, for the stuff we do need (and some of it was what my ex decided was "his" including some of my Arthur Court and other china pieces.  Am I going overboard?  No.  But then again I didn't do that either before.  Am I having a wedding?  Yes!  A gorgeous wedding but much smaller than before..an intimate wedding and thrilled to be able to do that! There's no rules.  No wrongs or rights imho.  We have a good time here, and we discuss many many issues, just like this topic has been discussed.  CurlyDreamer on "Encores are entitled to nothing?" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/encores-are-entitled-to-nothing/page/2#post-456141 Sun, 08 Nov 2009 10:23:25 +0000 CurlyDreamer 456141@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ I'm waiting, but will hopefully be an encore bride soon. I'm 31 and one of my only friends to have been married, let alone divorced! I was married for the wrong reasons and for 4.5 years. The Boy is 36 and is also encore. He was married for 8 years. We both have two children each (so a total of 4 between us). My two live with us full time and his visit. We are very, very happy together. Through my marriage, which was done for the sake of "doing the right thing," I endured countless types of different abuses, from infidelity to emotional manipulation and awful treatment. I tried as hard and as long as I could so that I would know that there really was NOTHING I could do to make it better. And since they day I left I have been happy BEYOND belief. I agree that people are naieve when they go into marriage, and even more ignorant for judging those who have found happiness again. Anyone who knows what I have gone through understands why having a second marriage (and wedding celebration of some sort) is so important to me, but I also know that there are those naysayers who will think I am being selfish, overindulgent, or just plain ridiculous. In my case, I have decided not to invite anyone who isn't just thrilled for us... I am not allowing family or other etiquette rules to dictate, and plan on telling people point blank why I am choosing to exclude others. No way will we pay our hard earned money to have someone roll their eyes while eating and drinking courtesy of us! lol... I think all of us who have been through a failed marraige (or the death of a spouse) are just as deserving of happiness and joy, and the celebration of love, just as much everyone else. I pity those who can't understand and, even worse, sit back in judgment. Miss Sequoia on "Encores are entitled to nothing?" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/encores-are-entitled-to-nothing/page/2#post-454556 Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:14:46 +0000 Miss Sequoia 454556@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Couldn't have said it better. bellenga on "Encores are entitled to nothing?" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/encores-are-entitled-to-nothing/page/2#post-443635 Mon, 02 Nov 2009 17:00:20 +0000 bellenga 443635@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ That's so sweet Miss Sequoia!  Btw, my grandparents eloped and they have been married as of August, SEVENTY YEARS!  7-0 years!  It's as I believe the same for weddings, ring size, all the wedding hoopla, nothing unless there is the real and enduring love behind the vow, ring, words, and everything!  It's about the love and the celebration of that love.   Miss Sequoia on "Encores are entitled to nothing?" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/encores-are-entitled-to-nothing/page/2#post-443489 Mon, 02 Nov 2009 15:29:42 +0000 Miss Sequoia 443489@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Wow, this thread restores my faith. Thanks bellenga!! They should be reassured to see an example of a strong woman who wouldn't let her boundaries be trampled, and who stood up for what she believed in, even if it was socially awkward. Re: divorce, it's so ridiculous how people think that other people's lives are "catching." But it's true. And it's ridiculous how much criticism people will give you for not having the wedding THEY want you to have. Don't they realize you're not marrying them?! I'm not an encore bride, but my mom AND her mom both eloped, and I get lots and lots of criticism for 'making a spectacle of ourselves'. Huh? For having a wedding with food, close friends, family, and a nice dress? To me, being mean to an encore bride about her wedding is no different. Party poopers! :) bellenga on "Encores are entitled to nothing?" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/encores-are-entitled-to-nothing/page/2#post-442441 Mon, 02 Nov 2009 09:05:08 +0000 bellenga 442441@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Thanks.  I'm turning a little pink now.  Hugs at ya Sandibee! SandiBee on "Encores are entitled to nothing?" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/encores-are-entitled-to-nothing#post-442407 Mon, 02 Nov 2009 08:54:12 +0000 SandiBee 442407@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Bellenga- I'm not very good at posting pictures.  But I will give it a try on a different thread.  BTW I really love your thoughtful words and the amount of passion you put into your posts. bellenga on "Encores are entitled to nothing?" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/encores-are-entitled-to-nothing#post-440800 Sun, 01 Nov 2009 11:37:27 +0000 bellenga 440800@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Congratulations Sandibee for having that day where you celebrated your love!  Sounds wonderful!  Do you have any pics you can post for us on another thread? It is important to celebrate that day..big or small.  Finding love again after heartbreak is so amazing to me.  It's like a renewal! I felt a lump in my throat last week when T went with me to my son's parent/teacher conference.  The teacher asked who he was, was he my son's dad and I said no..T said "im going to be the stepdad next year." It was so sweet..and I realized that it's just not about the wedding, it's about the family we're creating.  :) We deserve..what we need to make our day amazing.  I know I personally handed over lots of my belongings in the divorce to a guy who cheated and lied to me so much..even lost my beloved cappucino maker too!  So for somebody to say that encores deserve nothing should think again! The sheer fact our hearts are open to love again and that we've done the work in our own lives to sweep out the cobwebs of the past to make room for new happiness is sheer proof enough to me that our weddings should be embraced.  I realize this is how I feel, but for the Elizabeth Taylors of the world on their seventh or eighth time down the long aisle, my gift might be a tad modest at that point.  I wouldn't be purchasing a cappucino maker for her. SandiBee on "Encores are entitled to nothing?" http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/encores-are-entitled-to-nothing#post-438886 Fri, 30 Oct 2009 12:13:25 +0000 SandiBee 438886@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Jamaicabride- I too married a man who was divorced, it is my first marriage.  I don't know if it's because of my age (I'm 38) or his previous marriage, but we got a lot of "what are you going to do for a wedding? Or how will you get married?  It's not so much the question as the tone and look you get.  My then FI wanted a JP- I talked him into a low budget but beautiful wedding. Bluespurres We also had a pigroast, but in a park.  No dance, just good food.  I didn't want all the fuss, but I did want to celebrate the fact that I found the love of my life and I wanted everyone to celebrate and with us.  I also heard afterword that it was the most beautiful wedding they had been to.  I think the lack of stress and simple enjoyment of celebrating made the day beautiful and unique!  I don't know that I have ever seen my husband so happy as on that day.  To think we almost missed it because of what other people think.