http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Topic: FH doesnt want to wear ring en Tue, 14 Feb 2012 10:58:39 +0000 http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/fh-doesnt-want-to-wear-ring/page/3#post-457271 Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:19:00 +0000 MrsCox2B 457271@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>In my opinion-&nbsp;I think the woman should take the mans last name. In her case, she had established a career around her maiden name so she should keep her maiden name but maybe hyphen with her married name. I know many women who do that. Its different for every couple, but in my eyes and in my relationship, I think the woman should take the mans last name.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/fh-doesnt-want-to-wear-ring/page/3#post-455749 Sat, 07 Nov 2009 22:16:28 +0000 2dBride 455749@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p><em>A buddy of his was with his gf for 9 years before they went to vegas and finally eloped. She refused to take his last name because she is a lawyer and has her own firm. He flipped, said it was very important to him and she finally changed it. My FH commented that is something that shouldnt even be an arguement. The woman takes the mans last name, period.</em></p> <p>Wow!&nbsp; On what possible basis does he think the woman has to take the man's last name?&nbsp; How would he like it if someone told him he had to give up the name he had earned for himself professionally because he got married?</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/fh-doesnt-want-to-wear-ring/page/3#post-455748 Sat, 07 Nov 2009 22:16:04 +0000 loralie 455748@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>After explaining to him WHY it's important to you for him to wear a ring, ask him if he would be willing to try it for a while - say 6 months.&nbsp;</p> <p>My husband wears no jewelry - not even a watch - but it was non-negotiable in my eyes for him to wear a wedding ring.&nbsp; At one point he asked if he could wear it on a chain around his neck but I watched enought SATC to immediately veto that.&nbsp;</p> <p>At first, he did some goodhearted whining about it feeling weird, but by the time 6 months rolled around, he didn't even realize he had it on most of the time.&nbsp; It may seem a little sneaky, but if he'll agree to wear it for 6 months, he'll probably wear it forever.</p> <p>Now, the only time my husband takes his ring off is in the shower.&nbsp; Then he puts it back on.&nbsp; He even sleeps with it, which is more than I can say for myself.&nbsp; I keep a box on the night stand and put mine in there when I go to bed.&nbsp;</p> <p>Good luck!</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/fh-doesnt-want-to-wear-ring/page/3#post-455732 Sat, 07 Nov 2009 22:01:57 +0000 Flying fox 455732@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Perhaps this could be a possibility .. I took a class once with a guy who had recently married and he was also not a ring or jewelry kind of guy. They ended up getting his ring in wood to do an exchange for the ceremony and he tatoo-ed the infinity symbol around his ring finger. It was his compromise have that outward symbol of being married and having it on his ring finger without wearing jewelry. (If you like tatoos)</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/fh-doesnt-want-to-wear-ring/page/3#post-455707 Sat, 07 Nov 2009 21:42:49 +0000 Minutiae 455707@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Aside from the sentimentality, wearing a wedding band is a practical way of showing strangers what your "status" is. You're less likely to get into awkward situations if you wear a wedding ring. That seems like the root of its symbolic importance to me; just having an outward sign that you're not available. Hardly surprises me a man's refusal to wear a ring can be construed as a lack of commitment or a desire to appear single.</p> <p>Do ringless married men have a game plan for dealing with flirting? Do they plan on finding a way to bring up their wives in every tricky conversation, or will they enjoy the flirting and go on their merry way?</p> <p>My boyfriend told me a story about his boss recently. His boss offered him a ride to his house for something, and when they arrived, he let out this long sigh and said "I guess I have to put <em>this </em>back on now." And plucked his wedding ring from the cupholder. He didn't want his wife to know he took his wedding ring off as soon as he left the house. There are definitely some dangerous unresolved issues there, haha.</p> <p>You have plenty of time at this point, but I'd make sure you take care of the problem before the wedding!</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/fh-doesnt-want-to-wear-ring/page/3#post-455674 Sat, 07 Nov 2009 21:07:27 +0000 Miss Sequoia 455674@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I think he should wear it if it's important to you.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/fh-doesnt-want-to-wear-ring/page/3#post-455345 Sat, 07 Nov 2009 16:22:28 +0000 tammyt112 455345@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>If the tables were turned and you couldnt wear the ring would he be upset? Too bad, he HAS to wear it, its a very symbolic item you give to each other on your wedding day, the vows wouldnt be complete without wearing them, just my opinion</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/fh-doesnt-want-to-wear-ring/page/2#post-454808 Sat, 07 Nov 2009 00:53:02 +0000 crimsonchik 454808@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>a few days after getting engaged we were laying there talking (thats it! i swear!) and i asked him if he was going to wear a ring, too.&nbsp; he said if i bought him one he would (except at work, where it isnt permited.)</p> <p>so we were at the department store and he comes to me where i was browsing and he says he has something he wants me to see. .. . i was totally clueless, but was directed to jewelry and shown a ring he liked . .. obviously a <span style="text-decoration: underline;">man's</span> ring and obviously not a wedding ring. .. and he had this glimmer of pleading in his eyes. .. . so for a couple hundred bucks he got a 'pretty' ring that shows he is committed and he is of course very happy to do so.</p> <p>he is a rare man, though, and does enjoy jewelry. being puerto rican might help with that, as he is drawn to things big and gold.&nbsp; the wedding ring he found for himself is really beautiful, made with gold and white gold (my color) and diamonds. . . . .. ive almost decided i dont need a band, as the e-ring he bestowed is blinging enough!</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>we both view our rings as symbols of love and commitment, and i am very glad this is not a point of contention for us.&nbsp; i dont know what i would do if it were, but i know that when he realizes something is important to me, he takes me seriously and tries to please.</p> <p>(ps: titt for tatt is a game that i dont recommend it in a mature relationship. .. it can spiral out of control)</p> <p>(pps: the only times my ex didnt wear his ring was when he was out with his friends- and yes, that meant exactly what it seems)</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/fh-doesnt-want-to-wear-ring/page/2#post-454361 Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:50:36 +0000 goosegg1001 454361@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>It would certainly bother me, but I can also understand. I often forget to wear my engagement ring (and i love it!) but Ive just never been a ring person.</p> <p>BUT! If Im going out to a bar, or anything of that sort, I make sure I have it on. Maybe you could compromise? He doesnt have to wear it to work, but youd like for him to wear it other times?</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/fh-doesnt-want-to-wear-ring/page/2#post-454298 Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:29:49 +0000 Noelle-a-Belle 454298@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>MrsCox:&nbsp; I think you're wise to drop it for now.&nbsp; However, I do think that because it's so important to you, he should at least TRY to get used to wearing the ring.&nbsp; My husband said it felt weird to wear his at first but it's only been three weeks and now he doesn't even notice it.&nbsp; It is incredibly selfish that your FH won't even give it a chance, given how important it is to you.&nbsp;</p> <p>I think when the time comes, you could make your point the way you mentinoned before; just tell him that he takes it for granted you will change your name (something that is, to me, much more lasting and permanent than wearing a ring) and you took it for granted that he would wear a ring, so would he please do you the favor of at least trying....you know what I mean?&nbsp;</p>