http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Topic: Friend invited herself to be bridesmaid en Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:52:22 +0000 http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/friend-invited-herself-to-be-bridesmaid#post-249190 Sun, 05 Jul 2009 18:02:13 +0000 mountain.bride 249190@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Please be honest with her, it might also be a good idea to say you would have loved to have her as a BM, but hopefully she can help you dress/go dress shopping with you/help make invitations or something else that will help her feel involved. A friend of mine didn't choose me for a BM and I felt hurt (now I understand why but at the time I struggled a bit) and the way I dealt with the hurt almost ruined our friendship. So being honest sooner rather than later is a good idea :) </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/friend-invited-herself-to-be-bridesmaid#post-249181 Sun, 05 Jul 2009 17:42:01 +0000 Future Mrs M 249181@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Thanks guys! I think I'm going to just tell her Mr. M only has 2 friends he wants to be in the wedding and I don't want an odd numbered bridal party. It seems like the easiest route to go and won't hurt her feelings knowing my MOH and BM are my best friends. </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/friend-invited-herself-to-be-bridesmaid#post-248758 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 18:06:58 +0000 CEO528 248758@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I had one of my BM invite herself to be the MOH! And I just flat out said to her that I had already asked my cousin! If she doesn't bring it up again, I wouldn't bother addressing it, but if she does let her know you've already chosen your people and you wanted to stay with a small number, but you'd love her help or involvement if she was interested.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/friend-invited-herself-to-be-bridesmaid#post-248741 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 17:33:11 +0000 kitten 248741@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I would just tell her that for whatever reason, you and your FI have decided to have a very small wedding party--just two people.&nbsp; I didn't include any of my friends in my wedding party (had my sisters and SIL, a total of 4) and just told my friends that, flat out.&nbsp; Find other ways to include her and make her feel special, but don't compromise what you want just because she is making assumptions! </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/friend-invited-herself-to-be-bridesmaid#post-248719 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 16:33:41 +0000 Mrs. DG 248719@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>As someone who has been there and is doing that, I have to say you should put your foot down earlier rather than later.&nbsp; You can still be nice about it while being firm... but trust me when I say that rolling over on this one is going to bring nothing but bad feelings! </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/friend-invited-herself-to-be-bridesmaid#post-248706 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 15:54:21 +0000 oneflute85 248706@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I am in a very similar situation.&nbsp; I didn't ask for a good friend to be in the party, but I did ask 2 others who we both know.&nbsp; However instead of talking to me about it she talked to everyone else.&nbsp; When we finally let the dust settle, I told her that we were keeping the party small and instead brought attention to her abilities as a designer, and asked her to assist in designing the programs and to do a reading.&nbsp; This way she is still involved but not just up in front with me.&nbsp; Good luck, I know what you are going through! </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/friend-invited-herself-to-be-bridesmaid#post-248697 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 15:25:40 +0000 Tanya123 248697@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Just curious.&nbsp; Did she say why she might not be able to be in the wedding?&nbsp;&nbsp; When she said this, what did you say?</p> <p>I'm just wondering if she feels she definitely can't, or what the hold up could be.&nbsp; From where I stand, if she feels she can't be in the wedding, maybe there's no need for you to say anything.&nbsp; Then you get the party you want, and she is none the wiser that you never would have asked her. </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/friend-invited-herself-to-be-bridesmaid#post-248650 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 12:54:22 +0000 msduck 248650@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>just say don't worry about being in my wedding because i only plan on having so and so in it to make it simple for you </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/friend-invited-herself-to-be-bridesmaid#post-248644 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 12:31:12 +0000 trailmix 248644@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Another possibility might be that she actually can't be a bridesmaid (money, time, job, etc)&nbsp;and was worried you might want her to be one...Maybe she was just trying to drop a hint that she actually couldn't do it, in case you were going to ask her? Just a thought, hopefully whatever you say, she will be receptive and open and mature enough to be happy with what makes you happy~ </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/friend-invited-herself-to-be-bridesmaid#post-248642 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 12:26:27 +0000 sparkle 248642@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>That's a little awkward! I understand how that would be awkward though, but since its a cruise you can maybe explain you're really keeping it small and these two girls are your only attendants and include her in all the other events? If she's not sure she can even make the cruise, by the time everyone makes their reservations - if she hasn't - you can just ignore it then?</p> <p>I had a girl assume she was a BM too, when I got engaged she called and was like &quot;Congrats! What's my dress going to be like? Am I a BM or MOH?&quot; Um, neither actually. She's very high&nbsp;maintenance&nbsp;and complains about everything...a total pessimist.&nbsp;</p>