http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Topic: Getting married far away and bad reactions - can anyone relate? en Tue, 14 Feb 2012 13:48:34 +0000 http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-far-away-and-bad-reactions-can-anyone-relate#post-481486 Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:38:18 +0000 piglet506 481486@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>omg, i feel like i'm reading about my own life in all these posts! we're getting married in Turks &amp; Caicos in May 2010 and while no one has downright complained about the location (i made it very clear before i was even engaged that a DW was happening whether people liked it or not and if they wanted to pay for the wedding, then they got a say in the location). now that i've actually booked the wedding and started sending out info though, it's like everybody is shocked they will have to pay money for a flight &amp; a hotel. granted, i picked a hotel that is not cheap to actually hold the wedding at, but there is a much more reasonable one directly next door and it's approx. a 15 sec. walk on the beach from one to another. i know that i have spent a LOT of $$ going traveling to other people's weddings in SoCal, Louisiana, etc and I never even really got a nice vaca out of those. So my feeling is, I pay, I do what I want and everybody else can figure out what will work for them.&nbsp;</p> <p>I was wondering though, is anybody else including some sort of enclosure with save the dates or invitations that basically say something along the lines of "we understand our location choice may make it difficult for everyone to attend, etc etc."? i want to include something but am not sure how to make it sound diplomatic...any thoughts?</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-far-away-and-bad-reactions-can-anyone-relate#post-457825 Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:51:39 +0000 amandaryan0305 457825@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>We live in Ohio and decided to get married on the beach, on the Oregon Coast. &nbsp;It just seems so beautiful, and I've always wanted to travel to the Pacific Northwest. &nbsp;When I saw pictures of other weddings on the beach in OR, I was positive that this is what I want. &nbsp;FI was thrilled about is, and so were his parents. &nbsp;My parents, on the other hand, basically bit my head off when I told them (keep in mind that WE are paying for the entire wedding, and will be providing a huge oceanfront house). &nbsp;My mom snarled at me, "you're making it so that NO ONE can come!!" &nbsp;Which struck me as odd, because she and my stepfather travel every year, though it is primarily on the East coast. &nbsp;It's not as if they can't afford the plane tickets (and I've offered to be the "fare watcher" so that we can get the best price...ugh. &nbsp;Oh well, I'm not going to change my plans. &nbsp;<img src="http://boards.weddingbee.com/my-plugins/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-smile.gif" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /></p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-far-away-and-bad-reactions-can-anyone-relate#post-455213 Sat, 07 Nov 2009 14:22:02 +0000 crimsonchik 455213@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>same situation on a smaller scale- my fi is puerto rican, and since his family doesnt have much money it seemed like a reasonable idea. my family is all over the united states, so there was not a good central location, anyway.</p> <p>so for my guests it is a destination wedding, but for his family it is local. .. . which means he has more people coming. . . ..he is having a slight hard time with that because he wants all these friends to be involved and i dont want it to be unbalanced.. . . i am afraid of my side looking pitiful</p> <p>but i just keep telling myself those on my side that arent coming likely wouldnt go to a stateside wedding either, if it meant going out of their way too much. not being hateful, the economy is a great excuse to stay close to home.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-far-away-and-bad-reactions-can-anyone-relate#post-454272 Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:23:09 +0000 primp 454272@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>While a DW is not in my future, I definitely know how irritating it is to have family members be sticks in the mud about traveling for a wedding.&nbsp; I mentioned to the Fi that my older sister wants to get married in Hawaii (which is nowhere&nbsp;NEAR as far as NZ is) and he had a sour reaction which irritated me a bit!&nbsp; I guess his uncle who is only a few years older than us and his wife had a DW and the MOG and some other family members weren't able to go because they couldn't afford it.&nbsp; I don't think that he even considered that the wedding is about the couple, and that people need to prioritize whether or not they want to attend a DW or splurge on say a new gadget that they really don't need.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-far-away-and-bad-reactions-can-anyone-relate#post-454177 Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:54:47 +0000 CinnamonGirl 454177@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I was surprised by the way our family reacted to our decision to get married in the Caribbean.&nbsp; I expected that his family would be resistant to the idea and that mine would be ok with it.&nbsp; It was the total opposite.&nbsp;</p> <p>His family was thrilled to get the opportunity to take a vacation all together and celebrate our wedding with us and mine was less than thrilled.&nbsp;</p> <p>Last week my Grandmother told me that they were not going to be coming to our wedding, because my grandfather isn't feeling well and my Uncle didn't have the time or money.&nbsp; I was heartbroken.&nbsp; THEN she casually added that they would all (my grandparents, two uncles and their wives) be going on a Caribbean cruise THE WEEK AFTER OUR WEDDING if we wanted to join them.&nbsp; Just stick the knife in and TWIST.&nbsp; I was crushed.&nbsp; To turn down our wedding in the Caribbean and then invite me to cruise the Caribbean with them the next week is utterly ridiculous.&nbsp; I can't even understand their actions here. &nbsp;</p> <p>But it doesn't matter anymore.&nbsp; If I can't make them see how important this is to me and if they aren't willing to spend time getting to know my husband and our family there's nothing I can do to force them and I wouldn't want to.&nbsp; I am so excited to be marrying my best friend and the man of my dreams and have the wedding that makes us both happy.&nbsp; It is a hard decision to make, but it is the right one for us and I don't regret it.&nbsp; You can't make everyone happy.&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-far-away-and-bad-reactions-can-anyone-relate#post-451281 Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:12:05 +0000 egb 451281@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Yep, can relate to that one! Both our mothers made comments and poor attempts to make us change our minds.&nbsp; But this is really what we wanted and held our own. In the end, it all works fine, even if they relapse from time to time... We gave them two options: either to come or to look at the pictures when we come back. :)</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-far-away-and-bad-reactions-can-anyone-relate#post-419305 Wed, 21 Oct 2009 19:19:33 +0000 Miss Sapphire 419305@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Yep, we've ran into some people that don't want to travel across the country for our wedding. &nbsp;It really sucks, but I don't have much advice for you other than I hope everything works out.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-far-away-and-bad-reactions-can-anyone-relate#post-417486 Wed, 21 Oct 2009 05:37:21 +0000 vanessa_b 417486@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>wildstyle, have you thought aboutr having two weddings?&nbsp; It might be that your friends and family in the US are disappointed that they won't get to see you say your vows.&nbsp; You could do a second informal "vow recital" at your US reception, wear your dress again, and maybe make your guests happy. (I'm not suggesting you spend extra money on another "real" wedding, just maybe add some of the wedding ceremony to your reception.)</p> <p>My fiance and I are getting married in Florida, and our family all lives in Ohio/Kentucky.&nbsp; We haven't heard any complaining yet, but we haven't sent out the STDs either.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-far-away-and-bad-reactions-can-anyone-relate#post-404945 Wed, 14 Oct 2009 07:59:29 +0000 PeytonL79 404945@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Wow, that sucks - you have a completely legit reason for doing it in NZ, so I'm surprised at some of the comments.&nbsp; :-(</p> <p>We've gotten a little flack from his family about having the wedding in Virginia, since they're all in California.&nbsp; However, there are 8 of them and about 50 other guests (including my family), all of whom are on the east coast.&nbsp; Plus FI has been living here since 1997 and I've been here since 2001, so DC is our home.&nbsp; Tough noogies to people who don't like it!&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-far-away-and-bad-reactions-can-anyone-relate#post-404884 Wed, 14 Oct 2009 07:37:15 +0000 sleepylittlesailor 404884@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>oh, yeah, did i have this problem!</p> <p>my fiance is english, but lives in nova scotia, canada. i'm from east coast, USA. we wanted to get married not in my hometown, for reasons i won't go into.</p> <p>so first we tried to see if people would come to nova scotia. NO, people would NOT come to nova scotia. my best friend actually campaigned for me to get married in Toronto -- totally randomly, i've never even been to Toronto before, and it's not my Number One fantasy vacation spot- --because she and her family could drive there from Pennsylvania. (Wait? Toronto? In fall or winter? Because you -- and not any other guest or family member -- could drive there? Wait, what?)</p> <p>after getting all sorts of negativity and bad vibes and unpleasantness about Nova Scotia, we decided to get married on a Caribbean island. a place we've always wanted to go. a combined wedding and honeymoon, really.</p> <p>and then the REAL moaning and complaining started. it was unreal. people were often downright nasty about it. (Okay, so don't come!)</p> <p>in the end, i ended up renting accommodations for a large number of the guests, as a way to get anyone to turn up. we have a good crowd coming, and i'm happy about it all now.</p>