http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Topic: Graduation vs. Wedding en Tue, 14 Feb 2012 06:38:15 +0000 http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/graduation-vs-wedding#post-456863 Sun, 08 Nov 2009 19:16:07 +0000 honeybun 456863@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I was on the 5 year plan, got wasted with my friends and changed my major twice. And I was NOT the first in my family to graduate from college - my mom has 2 degrees.</p> <p>I wouldn't have missed my graduation, come hell or high water, and neither would my family. Regardless of how you someone gets there, they are still graduating. Just because you view graduations as "a pain", (I know there are people that view weddings as a pain!) it is an important event for lots of people. Right up there with weddings and births as far as I'm concerned. I am just shocked that you could be mad about the graduates or their immediate families attending the graduation. I can't even wrap my brain around this one!</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/graduation-vs-wedding#post-456751 Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:22:59 +0000 mechiebaby 456751@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>haha sulaii211 I thought the same thing! we're jaded :)</p> <p>really though, it sucks, but there's nothing you can do if you're unwilling to change the date (which I wouldn't be either).&nbsp; Invite 15 other friends instead!</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/graduation-vs-wedding#post-456729 Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:10:22 +0000 sulaii211 456729@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Is it wrong to think: awesome, I don't have to pay for them? Because that seriously, was my first reaction.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/graduation-vs-wedding#post-456701 Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:59:57 +0000 Lillindy 456701@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I have to say, the suggestion of seeing if they would like to come after their graduation is a good idea.&nbsp; I know some graduations are super early so maybe they could at least make part of the reception at least.&nbsp; In life, you never know if you don't ask :)</p> <p>I do have to add, though, that I would be careful about negatively saying, "She is on the 6 year plan..." because I took that long to graduate college and it's not because I was busy partying and all that, so I would just be cautious about a statement like that so you don't offend anyone.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/graduation-vs-wedding#post-456594 Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:14:54 +0000 floridabeachbride 456594@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I was in a similar situation. My closest cousin was getting married the day after my little sister graduation from high school (it was at night). It was nerve wrecking because graduation was in IL and wedding in MS and I'm from FL. lol....but my grandmother wanted to attend both..so who stayed up all night after leaving graduation party early..to drive my gma to MS to see her grandson get married in the early am, I did.</p> <p>I think there are ways to make it happen. We also didn't make it because the um...stupid girl he was marrying (oh yes, I <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">hate</span> dislike her a lot btw) wanted a early brunch wedding...</p> <p>Yeah, some of my family were like why would she pick the same day as the graduation? Etc...etc..But, it's her wedding and if she wanted it in May, so be it. I don't believe that many more than the immediate family would be going to the graduation instead of a wedding. I think a wedding is more important, but I think I am in your boat because there are a lot of family members who "made it through."</p> <p>As for my graduation (I'm not walking): it's before my wedding and I don't expect my family to travel to both. My wedding is in May and as far as I know, no one is graduating though if they were it would probably land on my wedding weekend, just for spite. hehe :D. But, if it did..I think I would be mad a little too because there are ways to make it happen. But, I also believe most of my family would come to the wedding versus the graduation except the parents/siblings of the graduating individual.&nbsp; I even see some sibling of some cousin ditching the graduation to come to my wedding instead. I guess it just depends on what people think would be more important or for some, more fun ;).</p> <p>I wouldn't let it get to you. You aren't going to be able to change what certain people value and think is important....so just be glad that you are now a couple thousand dollars richer without all those extra people ;)</p> <p>And June is really late for a graduation where I'm from...even a college one. Usually it lands the second to last or last weekend in May (oh, look whose wedding is than..lol..)</p> <p>&nbsp; </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/graduation-vs-wedding#post-456561 Sun, 08 Nov 2009 16:55:48 +0000 Meowkers 456561@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I have to agree with the majority of the posters.&nbsp; There's no way my immediate family, (and grandparents), would have missed my graduation(s) for a cousin's wedding.&nbsp; I worked REALLY hard in college and law school and they were there every step of the way.&nbsp; They know how important graduating was for me and it was equally important for them.&nbsp; I'm by no means the first one to graduate in my family, (everyone has at least a masters), but it's still a huge deal and a huge accomplishment.&nbsp; It takes A LOT of hard work to graduate from college,but literally anyone can get married.&nbsp; No use in wasting time being upset over it.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/graduation-vs-wedding#post-456525 Sun, 08 Nov 2009 16:23:30 +0000 krazeekat 456525@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Hi guys - long time lurker, first time poster here...</p> <p>Just registered to respond to this - not really advice, but I actually had this happen on my graduation day.&nbsp; It also happened to be my birthday too!&nbsp; But FH couldn't come to see me walk because he was a GM at his best friend's wedding.&nbsp; I felt bad (read: angry)&nbsp;at the time, but I knew that he had a bigger responsibility that day.</p> <p>I'm sorry you have to go through this - I hope you can work things out!</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/graduation-vs-wedding#post-456492 Sun, 08 Nov 2009 16:03:36 +0000 cannotwait 456492@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>honestly, from your last comment it seems like the moms are getting you riled up...they can't change their graduation date, and it sounds like you can't or don't want to change your wedding date, so I'd just try to come to peace w/ it and even let them know they will be missed on your special day!</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/graduation-vs-wedding#post-456481 Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:54:48 +0000 moderndaisy 456481@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Thanks Mismikado! That is very memorable for you - wow I can't even believe you worked it out like that!! I'm not really expecting them to be open to the idea of making it to my wedding, but it's a very good idea to suggest it. Especially for the Ohio one - maybe they could drive straight to the reception if the graduation is early enough. Heck, they'd have to spend the night there anyway, right? (they live very far from Ohio).&nbsp;</p> <p>I think everything happens for a reason and if you try to manipulate things you end up on bottom. And also, at least for MY cousin, they definitely didn't know her graduation date until just a couple weeks ago, definitely too late for me to change everything. She is on the 6 year plan, changing her major several times, flunking classes, taking time off to get wasted with her friends. So she didn't even think she was graduating until recently. And I guess it's not even 100% still.</p> <p>It's a little comforting to hear everyone on this thread swaying to the side of attending a graduation vs. a wedding. My FMIL and Mom are Furious, but I honestly don't really care that much. I'm definitely upset, but not mad or anything. I just know for sure my parents would never let me walk vs. a cousin's wedding, but sounds like that's not the norm at all!! haha!</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/graduation-vs-wedding#post-456463 Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:38:14 +0000 mismikado 456463@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I can definitely see why you are mad and I understand that to you and your immediate family, graduations are no big deal. But maybe to you're cousins, it is. I didn't go to a single one of my cousin's graduations or even my Best Friends'/MOH because I too find them to be agonizing. But I never got to walk for my HS graduation and so to walk at my college graduation means nearly as much to me as my wedding. When I have invested that much time and money into getting that piece of paper, I want everyone to see me receive it come hell or high water.</p> <p>I really wish there was an easy solution to your conundrum, like what simpleandchic suggested. But there doesn't seem to be one...</p> <p>Do you know what time their ceremonies are? If they are morning ceremonies could they catch flights and make the evening festivities of your wedding if you really want them to be there. Yes it could be an inconvenience to you and your local family, but if you really want them there, then you need to be accomadating.</p> <p>And I am in your shoes...</p> <p>One of our groomsmen has his graduation ceremony the morning after our wedding. Not a big deal except for our wedding being 500 miles away from his school. We told him there was no way we could force him to be in or come to our wedding b/c walking in his graduation was WAY more important. After some deliberation we found a perfect (though slightly inconvenient) solution. He's driving down with another groomsman a couple days before, doing the wedding and reception with us and then we (yes the FH and myself) are driving him to the airport after the reception to catch a redeye flight to Dallas.</p> <p>Ideal? No. Memorable? Hell yeah!</p> <p>So I hope you can work something like that out and I hope everyone involved can be understanding and keep there cool. Good luck, hun! and hugs! to you for having to deal w/ this. </p>