http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Topic: How does your guy feel about the concept of marriage? en Tue, 14 Feb 2012 13:03:23 +0000 http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/how-does-your-guy-feel-about-the-concept-of-marriage#post-454515 Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:49:04 +0000 egb 454515@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Hmmm as I said in another thread, for me this has been a dealbreaker in the past.&nbsp; There will always be compromise in a relationship, but some things are just too important to compromise - the two people in the relationship need do be heading in the same direction. Marriage was too important for me, and he said he'd do it later if that could make me stay, but it wasn't enough. I needed him to want this as much as me, not just to "keep" me. That, plus other things that were not working out, made me want out; he's a really good guy, but not a good guy for me so after 6 years, I broke up. I was ready to move on but with clear expectations for future relationships, and here I am, two and a half years later, soon to be married to my best friend and the best guy for me.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/how-does-your-guy-feel-about-the-concept-of-marriage#post-454512 Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:48:24 +0000 egb 454512@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Hmmm as I said in another thread, for me this has been a dealbreaker in the past.&nbsp; There will always be compromise in a relationship, but some things are just too important to compromise - the two people in the relationship need do be heading in the same direction. Marriage was too important for me, and he said he'd do it later if that could make me stay, but it wasn't enough. I needed him to want this as much as me, not just to "keep" me. That, plus other things that were not working out, made me want out; he's a really good guy, but not a good guy for me so after 6 years, I broke up. I was ready to move on but with clear expectations for future relationships, and here I am, two and a half years later, soon to be married to my best friend and the best guy for me.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/how-does-your-guy-feel-about-the-concept-of-marriage#post-453075 Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:53:25 +0000 CurlyDreamer 453075@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p><div><span style="font-size: x-small; font-family: Arial;">For me, I don't just want the Boy to do it because I want to do it. I want him to do it because HE wants me to be his wife.&nbsp;And that is really the crux of the issue with us. He is already committed to me, but he&nbsp;doesn't "need" me to be his wife. I&nbsp;want and need the commitment that marriage means to me.</span></div><br /> <div><span style="font-size: x-small; font-family: Arial;"></span>&nbsp;</div><br /> <div><span style="font-size: x-small; font-family: Arial;">I wonder though, for those whose BF's are adamantly opposed to marriage as a general concept, would you stay with your BF even if he never proposed?</span></div> </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/how-does-your-guy-feel-about-the-concept-of-marriage#post-452520 Fri, 06 Nov 2009 08:46:54 +0000 Happyjen 452520@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>My boyfriend is totally against the idea of marriage.&nbsp; He doesn't see the point of it, and is nervous about being the centre of attention at the wedding.&nbsp; It's good to hear that some men do it even if they're not totally in favour of it.&nbsp; I wish I could get him to read this!</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/how-does-your-guy-feel-about-the-concept-of-marriage#post-452295 Fri, 06 Nov 2009 07:27:23 +0000 ejs4y8 452295@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>He's "in it to win it" and thinks people should have to work hard and jump through lots of hoops before getting divorced simply because they "stopped loving each other". He grew up without a father and it was hard on him so he's determined to keep our family whole and happy.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/how-does-your-guy-feel-about-the-concept-of-marriage#post-452232 Fri, 06 Nov 2009 07:07:51 +0000 bamm 452232@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>FI was totally against marriage until we met.&nbsp; I don't think I changed him, he just realized that I was a bit unconventional like him, and that he wouldn't 'lose' himself after marriage.&nbsp; In his generation in Korea there's still a lot of people who didn't marry for love - they married the person their families approved of, or married because it was just 'that time' and they felt an enormous pressure to find someone who 'would do.'&nbsp; Most of his friends and coworkers marriages are only quasi-functional...but after we met he realized that marriage could be a partnership.&nbsp; As for me...I also wasn't sure about marriage until I found&nbsp;him.^^</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/how-does-your-guy-feel-about-the-concept-of-marriage#post-449014 Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:33:38 +0000 egb 449014@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>For us, definitely the marriage over the wedding - both of us, not just him. It was so great just when we got engaged and started making "real" long term plans that started with "when" and not "if"...&nbsp; As for the wedding, we just want to keep it as simple as possible: DW, we basically told people where and when, whoever comes we'll be glad, but we'd do it even if we were alone. :)</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/how-does-your-guy-feel-about-the-concept-of-marriage#post-448907 Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:43:59 +0000 trugem 448907@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>We are all for marriage. We are both relgious so that plays a part too. His main concern is about the marriage than a wedding. He always says that he can't wait for me to be his wife and be in our home together.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/how-does-your-guy-feel-about-the-concept-of-marriage#post-448700 Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:01:08 +0000 Akennedy01 448700@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I think he's not that into it. He already feels like we're married. I don't think he sees "the point" of a wedding since we already act as though we are. But we'll see what happens. I think that his Catholic upbringing will end up overcoming the "what's the point?" feelings. I can't imagine him being okay with having children out of wedlock and he wants kids, lol.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/how-does-your-guy-feel-about-the-concept-of-marriage#post-448676 Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:43:19 +0000 Minutiae 448676@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I'm actually sort of surprised at how enthusiastic he is about marriage. Even though he's been through two major divorces in his time, his parents' and his own, he has repeatedly said he believes in marriage, and it's obvious he does through the way he handles our relationship. But I'm still surprised he isn't jaded about it. More evidence he's a miracle, I suppose. :)</p>