http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Topic: I just had one of those moments... en Sat, 07 Nov 2009 21:21:22 +0000 http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/i-just-had-one-of-those-moments#post-50840 Fri, 16 May 2008 13:22:35 +0000 rebecca 50840@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Wow, I came back from a meeting to find that people&nbsp;who don't know me have&nbsp;doomed my marriage to end in divorce! Seriously?!</p> <p>So sorry to hijack the original thread, smt.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/i-just-had-one-of-those-moments#post-50835 Fri, 16 May 2008 13:06:02 +0000 nejgne 50835@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>my husband's best man had called me a couple weeks before and i knew that they woudln't be able to do anything until the weekend of (we got married on sunday).&nbsp; i told him that i didn't really care what they did as long as they were all sober and on time for the wedding, and that it didn't conflict with other plans (we had a big rehearsal dinner, and a party the night before that).&nbsp; </p> <p>the guys are all relatively low key, and my hubby was uncomfortable w/ the strip club idea - his BM actually came up with a good idea to go to a winery nearby.&nbsp; unfortunately they didn't have too much time so i still feel bad since my girls took me to nyc for a weekend.</p> <p>i think if you're comfortable with whatever they do, that's great.&nbsp; but you also have a right to tell the best man (and your fiance)&nbsp;that they need to be home by a certain time AT THE LATEST&nbsp;for you to feel comfortable that they will be on time the next day.&nbsp; after all, it is one of the biggest days of your life (and his life for that matter)&nbsp;and the last thing&nbsp;you want is hungover new husband and groomsmen!!</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/i-just-had-one-of-those-moments#post-50816 Fri, 16 May 2008 12:26:49 +0000 cbkj 50816@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I don't think you are being irrational at all.&nbsp; And you are far more lenient than I.&nbsp; I definitely want FI to get out and enjoy himself with his friends, but I have a very specific - nothing.is.to.go.down.within.7.days.of.the.wedding ruling. </p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/i-just-had-one-of-those-moments#post-50805 Fri, 16 May 2008 12:06:38 +0000 hubandwif 50805@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I don't want anyone else's ta-tas in my man's face except mine...before, during, or after the wedding. ;) </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/i-just-had-one-of-those-moments#post-50798 Fri, 16 May 2008 11:54:22 +0000 Candi1024 50798@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>MsAnge:</p> <p>I agree.&nbsp; Even though you may have been living together since forever, there are people that say putting the ring on the girls finger changes her.&nbsp; Maybe this is an example of what they are talking about.</p> <p>It makes no sense to me.&nbsp; If it's ok to have the &quot;ta-tas&quot; in his face the day before the wedding, why is it such a big deal to do it after?&nbsp; That to me is an example of how the ring may change the girl, and thus lead to divorce.&nbsp; Don't get me wrong, that one little change doesn't lead to divorce, but why would you have different standards before and after a wedding?&nbsp; I think that would be asking for trouble.</p> <p>Candi </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/i-just-had-one-of-those-moments#post-50794 Fri, 16 May 2008 11:49:56 +0000 rebecca 50794@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Guess I think that's just one of the perks of marriage!</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/i-just-had-one-of-those-moments#post-50783 Fri, 16 May 2008 11:12:42 +0000 MsAnge 50783@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Rebecca- I suppose that's one thing I've never understood - if it would be disrespectful after you're married, why isn't it disrespectful now? You're clearly not a casual girlfriend at this point, he wants to marry you and spend the rest of his life with you. I understand if maybe that's too personal a question - a lot of people don't want to talk about the personal boundaries in their relationships and that's totally fine. But to me, the relationship doesn't magically change after saying &quot;I Do&quot; - yes the legal status changes, and other people's perceptions of you may change, but you're still the same people you were before the ceremony stared, except now you share the titles of husband and wife rather than fiance or boyfriend/girlfriend.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/i-just-had-one-of-those-moments#post-50782 Fri, 16 May 2008 11:11:56 +0000 smt 50782@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Ange - I appreciate your thoughts in trying to provide some suggestions on how this can work out.&nbsp;&nbsp;I guess we have a difference in opinion on getting the guys together vs&nbsp;guys hanging out.&nbsp; IMO, I feel that a b-party celebrates a man's days pre-marriage and often might include woo hoo activities that would not be done when the guys just hang out.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>You see FI's not the really the type&nbsp;that is into woo hoos &nbsp;-he and friends&nbsp;would go to a bar to see a game and such.&nbsp; But i can see that for this occasion (his woo hoo before tying the knot), he might actually do it and hit some strip clubs...&nbsp; what they do is ultimately their choice and i'd rather keep it that way.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;But i'm expecting that they drink crazy and woo hooo... among our circle of friends, it's pretty much the norm that those things would occur at a b party.&nbsp; </p> <p>I'm also perplexed that since we had a long engagement, there really isn't much reason why it couldn't have been planned for before the wedding.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> <p>All - thanks again for your words and insights. It's always good to hear different perspectives.&nbsp; </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/i-just-had-one-of-those-moments#post-50776 Fri, 16 May 2008 10:51:38 +0000 rebecca 50776@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>MsAnge, my FI is going to Vegas and doing god knows what for his bachelor party (which is fine, I'm doing the same thing in Philly for mine). I don't know what smt's FI is planning, but I know that if my FI did that when we were married, it would be really disrespectful to me (nor would he even want to).&nbsp;A boys night out drinking is one thing, but&nbsp;getting random tatas shaken in his face should go away after the wedding. </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/i-just-had-one-of-those-moments#post-50774 Fri, 16 May 2008 10:43:40 +0000 MsAnge 50774@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>smt - I made the suggestion of doing it after the wedding/honeymoon simply because if the guys really want to get together and party, it sounds like that might be more feasible for them than trying to squeeze it into the day before the wedding. Perhaps I was misinterpretting others' comments, but some of the guy-bashing and saying one doesn't have the right to a bachelor party were coming off as pretty judgemental. It doesn't have to be called a bachelor party, but essentially any night out with the guys is going to be roughly the same thing.</p> <p>Of course, I'm also of the mind set that, no matter your gender, you don't have to succumb to your baser instincts for your party. One doesn't have to go to a strip club or get completely trashed in order to have &quot;one last night&quot; of fun with one's friends.</p>