http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Topic: Mom's mixed messages...long... en Mon, 23 Nov 2009 05:51:28 +0000 http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/moms-mixed-messageslong#post-249843 Mon, 06 Jul 2009 12:48:10 +0000 suza 249843@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>**BIG HUG** I'm sorry.&nbsp; It's&nbsp;a strange feeling when you hope someone - especially Mom - will be excited for you and you hope that she will&nbsp;want to do wedding preparation stuff with you, and yet its the last thing she has any interest in doing.&nbsp;It hurts and it's a very odd sensation. Weddings are milestone events and&nbsp;a good time for mother/daughter bonding. I'm not a Mom, so I can't speak as one, but&nbsp;I would venture to say that&nbsp;if&nbsp;my daughter were getting married, I want to make the most out of every wedding experience - even more so if I had health issues. If you ever need to vent let me know! I can relate. All my Best, Suza</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/moms-mixed-messageslong#post-249380 Sun, 05 Jul 2009 22:02:01 +0000 FlipFlopBride 249380@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Yes, very narcissistic. She can turn any conversation into one about her problems. </p> <p>When I went over yesterday, she barely spoke to me at all. I had expected her to be all alone on the 4th, but she had a bunch of people over. She had told me she was going to be lonely. So much for that opportunity. I'll try again soon. For someone who is so worried about her health and won't talk about anything fun with me, she sure was having fun with her people. And then today, she left for Dover Downs!!! Off gambling and having fun, but oh so sick!!!!!</p> <p>Drives me crazy, she does!</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/moms-mixed-messageslong#post-249294 Sun, 05 Jul 2009 20:41:55 +0000 suza 249294@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Hi FlipFlop, Wow, I also didn't realize you were the only one she's confided in about her health. That's alot to put on you, especially if she is expecting you to keep it to yourself. Is your Mom narcissistic? Don't mean to offend, just sounds a lot like my Mom, always talking about her health issues then when it comes time to talk about other things, she all the sudden has to go do something. </p> <p>&nbsp;How did it go with your Mom? </p> <p>~Suza</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/moms-mixed-messageslong#post-248550 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 08:23:45 +0000 amysue 248550@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Yeah, that's a heavy burden to bear, FlipFlop. Good luck today, let us know how it goes! </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/moms-mixed-messageslong#post-248547 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 08:10:50 +0000 ArtichokeHeart 248547@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Oh wow, I didn't realize she was only sharing her health problems with you. &nbsp;That's a LOT to handle for two people. &nbsp;Possibly suggest sharing with someone else close, or talking to a therapist? &nbsp;It's hard enough dealing with the health issues, I can't imagine the emotional toll that also takes when people more than just the two of you aren't involved to share the burden.</p> <p>GOOD LUCK : )&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/moms-mixed-messageslong#post-248544 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 07:34:38 +0000 coralray24 248544@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Good luck! </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/moms-mixed-messageslong#post-248539 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 05:20:01 +0000 FlipFlopBride 248539@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Thanks for all the encouraging words, ladies. I know her health issues can overwhelm her, and we actually spent 90% of our time together talking about her and her issues. I'm the only one that knows about half her health problems (as she doesn't want anyone else to worry about her...I guess she wants me to worry, and only me). Believe me, I understand the gravity of all the health issues. </p> <p>I think maybe med0404 was right about the apologizing. She's the same way, now that I think about it. I guess from now on, I'll just let her bring it up and go with it when she seems to be in a good mood. </p> <p>I'm going to visit her today, so I'll probably let her know how this is making me feel, so we can just be out in the open with it. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure it will turn into a passive aggressive experience. </p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Thank you all again!</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/moms-mixed-messageslong#post-248081 Fri, 03 Jul 2009 13:16:11 +0000 Jenniphyr 248081@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I'm sorry that your mom seems not to be very supportive or excited about your upcoming wedding. *HUGS*&nbsp;</p> <p>I would continue to let her bring stuff up, like <strong>ArtichokeHeart </strong>said. And, like others have mentioned, she's probably just worried about her health. It can be an overwhelming thing to have to deal with, and maybe she feels like you're more excited about your wedding than you are worried about her health.&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/moms-mixed-messageslong#post-247942 Fri, 03 Jul 2009 09:08:52 +0000 suza 247942@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Moms (Make Our Marriages Stressful) JUST KIDDING!!&nbsp; there are Moms out there who Make Our Marriages Super. </p> <p>It's tough, try to look at the positive things your Mom puts forth. Melanoma is no small issue and maybe sometimes for just a moment she needs the world to stop spinning around her. (as we all do at times)</p> <p>I wish you the best with your Mom. Be open and honest with her. Keep us posted on how it goes. </p> <p>All my Best, Suza</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/moms-mixed-messageslong#post-247916 Fri, 03 Jul 2009 07:57:48 +0000 tessabella76 247916@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I agree with amysue. Your mom is probably really stressed about health issues. That's a lot to deal with along with a wedding. And maybe she's worried that due to her health, she won't be able to help you as much as she'd like. I would sit down and talk to her and try to get to the root of the problem. Let her know that you want her advice and you want to be able to tell her about the weddng without her becoming upset. Maybe you two can come up with a few things she can help with that won't stress either one of you out too much.</p> <p>Take it from someone who lost her mom over 5 years ago: I'd much rather have my mom around, fighting about wedding stuff, than planning without her. </p>