http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Topic: Need advice: not officially engaged en Tue, 14 Feb 2012 15:22:31 +0000 http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/need-advice-not-officially-engaged#post-55323 Fri, 30 May 2008 14:09:07 +0000 Sparkles 55323@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Cannot wait-- you haven't bought wedding magazines?! You are so holding yourself back. Go out with a friend and go to town getting mags! :P And while you are at it- procastinate between studying and tag all those pretty pages! You deserve it! (Not that I am speaking from experience <em>at all!)</em> </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/need-advice-not-officially-engaged#post-55315 Fri, 30 May 2008 13:24:50 +0000 Cyd 55315@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>We had a very similar situation! I did a ton of research early. I knew the ring was coming and had a rough idea of when, and we knew when and where we wanted to be married. Knowing that and understanding that in mid-summer in our region there would be HUGE demand from both local and out of town brides we decided it was appropriate to begin the research process. If people asked to see the ring I always just used the excuse that it was being sized to quickly divert attention and get back to the matter at hand. By the time I officially started wearing the ring a few weeks ago, our venues had been selected and the day after putting on the ring I called up to have our contracts sent out. I am in two weddings this summer so I wanted to be sure our major deposits and contracts were squared away in time for me to spend most of this summer focusing on (a) enjoying being engaged and (b) celebrating for the loved ones in my life getting ready to become a Mrs. to the ones they love.</p> <p>Bottom line - do what feels right. There is no harm done in researching and starting to put together a list of needs, wants, etc. I found that time period particularly helpful to start determining what my priorities were (location, photography) and were not (expensive dress, limo rentals) so I was able to pull together my budget and have a good idea of what needed to happen and when once the ring was present. In the meantime, congratulations! It is a fun process I am just starting and loving, so best of luck in planning!&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/need-advice-not-officially-engaged#post-55296 Fri, 30 May 2008 12:37:14 +0000 shinymonkey 55296@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>While it's true that you'll have to be more flexible about vendors, you're certainly not too late to book, especially for February -- at least, in my limited experience.&nbsp; I just booked my venue *today* for next February, and in all of my 15 or so calls to venues, only 1 was booked on my preferred day.&nbsp; This is in NYC on the Sunday of President's weekend... I was convinced nothing was going to be open, so I was happily surprised!&nbsp;</p> <p>Go ahead and start planning - figure out the budget, how much you'll allocate to each big ticket item, what your style is going to be, etc.&nbsp; It's never too early to start trying on gowns! </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/need-advice-not-officially-engaged#post-55275 Fri, 30 May 2008 10:32:34 +0000 cannotwait 55275@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Wow, I feel so much better now.&nbsp; Thanks to all the amazing ladies for your input!</p> <p>I'm in TX, not in a huge city, so luckily that buys me some time.&nbsp; I did find a reception venue that I'm in love with, that she said will book soon.&nbsp; I'm not sure I can afford it, anyway.&nbsp; (You should see it, though, it's GORGEOUS, and they even do the centerpieces, etc. for you, so that should save me some planning time.)&nbsp; I may regret it if it gets booked, but I care more about the church, invites and hopefully seeing some of my relatives I have not seen in awhile that live about 20 hrs away. </p> <p>I will probably do a prelim meeting with a caterer and a florist in June, but this has helped give me the 'push' I needed.&nbsp; I now feel inspired to go buy a meeellion bridal magazines, even if I do hide them, and if the clerk looks at my ring finger <img src="/my-plugins/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/icon_redface.gif" /> , I now feel more confident that it won't bother me so much.&nbsp; </p> <p>&nbsp;Happy planning! </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/need-advice-not-officially-engaged#post-55262 Fri, 30 May 2008 09:58:54 +0000 tea 55262@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>i'm in the same boat! there seems to be a lot of us, which makes me feel A LOT better. the bf and i know we're going to marry one day [we've been talking about it since our 2nd month together and he gave me a promise ring on our 1st anniversary] though the planning for our wedding didn't kick in into i was helping my friend plan her wedding. the bf is well aware of my pre-planning and is fine with it because he knows how much i love to plan stuff and how detailed i like getting plus he says it makes me happy. we do talk about it from time to time, i toss ideas his way and sees what he thinks so forth. our parents know that we plan on getting married and my parents occasionally broach the topic every once and awhile too, which has been nice so they can start thinking of how much they want to contribute.</p> <p>that said, you should at least tell your parents [both of you] that an engagement is immenient so they can at least start to get their minds going about what they want to contribute or help with. also, use this time to try out diy ideas if that's your thing [i have spreadsheets on everything i want to do!] and look around for venues and photographers and start to put together a rough outline of what you both want for the day that you can fill in later when you're official. if you don't want to deal with extra questions, you can always email potential venues/vendors and what not which cuts out the extra chit chat. start to piece together the look you want from shoes to bouquets and favors and stuff [the only thing i haven't really looked at hard core has been dresses but i have cheated a little. lol]. i did all my research online and i feel a lot better about being prepared for what to expect when it comes time to plan for real. </p> <p>wow, i rambled all around and i don't think i made much sense. hmm, here: you're not crazy at all and definitely start poking your nose around. congrats!</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/need-advice-not-officially-engaged#post-55259 Fri, 30 May 2008 09:32:47 +0000 Angel 55259@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>You should check out <a href="http://thatbride.blogspot.com/" title="That Bride">That Bride</a>...she's not engaged either. </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/need-advice-not-officially-engaged#post-55258 Fri, 30 May 2008 09:24:55 +0000 corn 55258@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Not that you need MY permission....but I wrote about this very thing as my second post way back last year when I became a bee: <a href="http://www.weddingbee.com/2007/06/01/a-tip-for-the-not-yet-engaged/">http://www.weddingbee.com/2007/06/01/a-tip-for-the-not-yet-engaged/</a></p> <p>I completely think it is wise to get started on your planning; especially if you have seriously discussed the future and know the engagment is coming. It only makes sense.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/need-advice-not-officially-engaged#post-55256 Fri, 30 May 2008 09:20:36 +0000 melodicsighs1 55256@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>i was actually just thinking about posting a very similar topic. my boyfriend is also saving up to buy a ring, but i am feeling pressure to start planning early. while we have not officially set a date yet, we are planning on getting married summer of '09, so just a few months after yours.</p> <p>basically, i am waiting to do anything official until we ourselves are official (although i have stressed to my boyfriend how vendors will get booked and how we need to start planning soon... im just hoping that speeds up the ring process a bit). however, i am doing everything that i can do, planning wise. weddingbee is a great outlet because i can save photos, jot down ideas, and dream away to my hearts content. i am even pretty sure i've found my dress, i'm just waiting to buy it.</p> <p>so, i suggest you go ahead and compile brainstorming and unofficial plans (colors, ideas, etc) as much as you want. if this process leads you to any official vendors that you just can't live without, book 'em. but otherwise, enjoy this time to just dream. gather any and all ideas that you can later put into action for your perfect day. :)&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/need-advice-not-officially-engaged#post-55254 Fri, 30 May 2008 09:19:35 +0000 callalillies 55254@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>i am in the same boat as you are! the bf is saving up for the ring and we set the date to jan 2009. our parents both know about the date and they're meeting to plan as well.i agree with the other gals in telling your parents. they need to know whats going on too so they can plan as well.</p> <p>&nbsp;we're going to look at some venues this weekend. i know it's frustrating doing all this stuff with the symbolic ring but in the end, it's just a peice of rock and metal (albeit a nice one).</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>what city are you in?</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/need-advice-not-officially-engaged#post-55248 Fri, 30 May 2008 09:06:17 +0000 Sparkles 55248@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Oh- and one more last thought. You may not be officially engaged. But you are officially committed. Half the things you will be researching you can start by doing on the phone and no one will know you aren't officially engaged. But just know it's&nbsp;a conversation piece for venues and rceptionists to ask to see the ring or to ask how he asked. It's not to make you feel awkward. At least, that is what I would like to think. <img src="/my-plugins/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/icon_razz.gif" />&nbsp;Good luck!!! Have fun!!! </p>