Weddingbee Boards Topic: Ring Talk Did Not Go Well...

Weddingbee Boards Topic: Ring Talk Did Not Go Well... http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Topic: Ring Talk Did Not Go Well... en Tue, 14 Feb 2012 11:38:49 +0000 mskalinin on "Ring Talk Did Not Go Well..." http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/ring-talk-did-not-go-well#post-451328 Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:38:51 +0000 mskalinin 451328@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ I'm sorry about that!! I used to just say, now and then, "If I ever get engaged, I don't want a diamond ring." I don't think you need to really come up with a whole story to ease into the subject. Just say it point blank. Guys are not good at subtle, usually. CurlyDreamer on "Ring Talk Did Not Go Well..." http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/ring-talk-did-not-go-well#post-451315 Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:33:24 +0000 CurlyDreamer 451315@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ @crebre80: If it's in the aquamarine ring section then I have. Maybe we'll both get ours at the same time. Or else you'll be first since you already made the enagement chicken and I just got the recipie today! lol... *runs off to stalk the ring threads to find vintage2010's ring* crebre80 on "Ring Talk Did Not Go Well..." http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/ring-talk-did-not-go-well#post-451309 Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:30:59 +0000 crebre80 451309@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ @curlydreamer, have you seen vintage2010's ring yet?! OMG! it is stunning and beautiful!!  i bet you'll get yours first lol!! CurlyDreamer on "Ring Talk Did Not Go Well..." http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/ring-talk-did-not-go-well#post-451303 Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:29:23 +0000 CurlyDreamer 451303@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ @crebre80: Aww... we're e-ring twins! lol... I think I may actually tell his BFF (who is a girl and who I am also friends with) and send her a picture or something so that she can tell him. For sure, if he's going to start ring shopping she will be one of the first to know! I actually want her to be one of my BM's if the time ever comes.     crebre80 on "Ring Talk Did Not Go Well..." http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/ring-talk-did-not-go-well#post-451274 Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:09:05 +0000 crebre80 451274@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Hmmm your dream ring and mine are two in the same!! i of course brought it up to M, early in our relationship (sort of okay i want to be married) back in June he brought it up to me saying that he wanted us to get married soon (mmm-kay that was what five months ago?!) i asked him his ring budgets etc and i started finding great rings, which i had done in my previous relationships.  that didn't work for him.  he wanted to do everything on his own, so i asked him for a blue stone with a halo setting.  i am still concerned that he wouldn't be able to pick it out etc but i also emailed my mom.  it may be cool if you said something like omg i saw this lady today and she had on the prettiest engagement ring i had ever seen. it was aquamarine and had diamonds around it.  i think that's so much pretty than a diamond stone. and then leave it at that. CurlyDreamer on "Ring Talk Did Not Go Well..." http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/ring-talk-did-not-go-well#post-451255 Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:01:48 +0000 CurlyDreamer 451255@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ @MissLoveBird: I completely understand the feeling. First time around I had a nice, pretty diamond and sometimes I felt a tad guilty. This time I just don't need it. The thought of a family heirloom is nice. I wore my great-grandmother's wedding ring in my first wedding. It was over 100 years old! Just happens I don't want a diamond this time. I'm confident if I take care of my aquamarine (no matter what it costs) it, too, can be something passed down for generations.   @Vintage2010: Your story is inspiring! I'm really hopeful for the chance to mention that to the Boy. I've decided that if/when the topic is there I am going to be pretty direct with telling him my preferences, but I am not going to just bring it up independently because I don't want him to feel pressured. vintage2010 on "Ring Talk Did Not Go Well..." http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/ring-talk-did-not-go-well#post-450835 Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:02:49 +0000 vintage2010 450835@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ You know about a year and 1/2 before the mister proposed our friends got engaged at my family beachhouse.  On the drive home he said she didn't look surprised at the ring.  To which I said because she picked it out.  He then told me he wanted it to be a surprise and made comments similiar to what your BF said.  So I thought our realtionship was a goner for sure!  Then about 6 months later while walking through the mall we went by this clothing store.  I said I'll take one of everything they have. And laughed, he said Well you are marrying a pilot and we are broke so don't get your hopes up!  I couldn't believe my ears because of our previous conversation.  About 3 months before he proposed he asked me point blank what shape diamond do I want.  That's when I told him I wasn't sure I wanted a diamond.  So hang in there.  I think it is good that he's talking to you about weddings in general.  And he'll figure out what to get you and what you like.  Mine did and he did a fine job!  I got an Aquamarine halo! It is beautiful! hope1275 on "Ring Talk Did Not Go Well..." http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/ring-talk-did-not-go-well#post-450804 Thu, 05 Nov 2009 12:52:50 +0000 hope1275 450804@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ I actually had a coworker tell her then-boyfriend that her diamond solitaire engagement ring had to be no less than 1 carat. I used that story on my own BF as a segue into saying "people can be so superficial--can you believe it? She should just be happy and grateful that she found someone she loves who loves her back and wants to spend the rest of his life with her!" I truly believe that, and saying it let him know that I care an awful lot more about the committment and the relationship than about the ring size. Maybe you could try saying something similar after he's had some time to settle down again? That way you could then go into saying something like "I swear, it seems like most women want a diamond--and the bigger the better!--but I'd much rather have something like an aquamarine. It's much more me and besides, I don't need a big, expensive ring when it means I get to be with you for the rest of my life!" Either way, I hope things go better the next time you talk about it!   MissChirpie on "Ring Talk Did Not Go Well..." http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/ring-talk-did-not-go-well#post-450611 Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:35:43 +0000 MissChirpie 450611@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Even though my ring was expensive, and I sometimes feel bad that my FI spent so much money on it, when I think about how long this diamond will be in our family for I know it was SO worth it. Thinking about a future granddaughter using my diamond in her engagement ring makes me feel so connected to my future family. I love it. spaniel on "Ring Talk Did Not Go Well..." http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/ring-talk-did-not-go-well#post-450605 Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:31:19 +0000 spaniel 450605@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ My FI once said something along those lines (although not after an anti-wedding tirade) about why we need a ring and blah blah blah... I had to shut that down right then and there and tell him that the ring might not mean anything to him but it did to me and to everyone around us and that however materialistic it seemed, I wanted one. He never made that kind of comment again... I think sometimes men (well, people in general) don't really think about what they are saying and how other people might feel about it. I think you should talk to him about it. If he reacted that strongly, maybe it's something that's been weighing on him and a discussion would prove helpful.