http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Topic: Small, Intimate Ceremony and 'after party' (kind of long) en Tue, 14 Feb 2012 13:01:35 +0000 http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/small-intimate-ceremony-and-after-party-kind-of-long#post-966546 Thu, 13 May 2010 11:27:11 +0000 bellenga 966546@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I hear ya!&nbsp; We're also having a super duper intimate ceremony (just my son and myself and FI) and then having about a 50 person reception back home after we come back from the "familymoon".</p> <p>I love doing things this way!&nbsp; I have less stress and&nbsp;after I move (the only stressor so far) I plan on just enjoying (finally) the last 2 months of our engaged status!</p> <p>Congrats on having a smaller wedding!&nbsp;</p> <p>I also love that idea of&nbsp; family hosting a bbq or something fun and small after the wedding for the rest of the family members who didn't come to the wedding.&nbsp; Fun!&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/small-intimate-ceremony-and-after-party-kind-of-long#post-966485 Thu, 13 May 2010 11:13:12 +0000 Bella Luna 966485@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Hi Soon2BEngaged!</p> <p>To be 100% honest, I am so thrilled that we are having the smaller ceremony &amp; after party than I was even 6 months ago when I wrote the original post. At first, I was sort of crushed when my mom suggested it - I had the same 'big wedding' dream that every little girl has and now I was being told that it would probably be better for all of us (especially me though due to stress), if we did it this way. I wasn't completely convinced at first that it would be better, but it is. We are having a backyard BBQ sort of thing at our new house for those family members who won't be invited to the actual ceremony/after party - we will be showing a 5 minute 'cinematic trailer' version of our wedding video so people can see the day (FMIL was so concerned about her brothers and sisters not being able to actually see us say our vows so the video appeases her). We'll also have some pictures up from the day so people can come and share in the joy of our new marriage without all of the strings attached (dressing up, making sure you're 'on time', little kids sitting quietly through a ceremony, etc). We are so thrilled and think it will be wonderful. I will say though, FMIL seemed a-ok with the idea of the BBQ originally and has since gone back on it a couple of times and tried to change things. FI and I have tried to stay firm with her on it and explain how now, our venue (a very nice local restaraunt) just simply cannot accomodate all of the additional guests. She is very excited though for all of her family to be able to come and see our new home at the BBQ though so...</p> <p>I guess the moral of the story is this - do what you and FI want, but try and work FMIL and mom's ideas in all while keeping with the budget and the real meaning of the day!!</p> <p>Bella</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/small-intimate-ceremony-and-after-party-kind-of-long#post-966417 Thu, 13 May 2010 10:59:08 +0000 Soon2BEngaged 966417@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>We are having a small ceremony and dinner reception with 20 people that my FI and I are paying for.&nbsp; We just didn't want to deal with all of the drama of having a big wedding.&nbsp;</p> <p>However, our parents are throwing us a BBQ the next day.&nbsp; We are sending invitations to everyone that wants to celebrate with us to come to the BBQ.&nbsp; It takes the pressure off of us, our parents can invite whoever they want and we are coming off as kind and considerate&nbsp;30 year old children LOL.&nbsp;</p> <p>I don't see a problem with doing another event later.&nbsp; Whatever works for you and your FI is what you should do.&nbsp; Smiles!</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/small-intimate-ceremony-and-after-party-kind-of-long#post-455220 Sat, 07 Nov 2009 14:37:11 +0000 Bella Luna 455220@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Ok, so update on the situation. I didn't know FI had planned to tell his parents um, TODAY (our nephews birthday) that we are planning to do a smaller intimate ceremony as opposed to the big formal affair. Well, out of the blue, he told him (I figured we would get a game plan together first so they didn't freak out). They both took it better than I thought they would! At first his mom started tearing up and you could see that he heart sank a little, but as we started discussing the plan in a little more detail her eyes lit up and you could see she became more excited about the idea (especially the part where we would get to spend more time with those closest to us instead of having only like 5 min per table talking to 2nd cousins twice removed that we don't know, sort of thing). :) I think&nbsp;at this point it's a good thing for all of us. I didn't worry about telling my parents because it was actually my mom's idea! :) My paternal grandparents loved the idea when we pitched it to them, but I don't know how my materal grandparents will take it (my grandmother wanted to invite people I haven't seen in like 10+ years and some of her friends from before she retired that neither FI nor I know, etc). She&nbsp;will probably not be happy, but it's our wedding and so if that's what we&nbsp;choose to do, it's what we'll do. FMIL also came up with the idea of having an 'engagement party' for us&nbsp;so that the rest of the family could come and give us&nbsp;their well&nbsp;wishes (more like a backyard BBQ&nbsp;sort of thing as opposed to the more formal 'after party' we will have after our intimate&nbsp;ceremony). FI and I both thought this was a neat idea so I think it'll make all feel included but not chaotic on our actual wedding day. Just thought I should let you guys know&nbsp;what happend&nbsp;for those who were interested. :)</p> <p>Bella&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/small-intimate-ceremony-and-after-party-kind-of-long#post-448765 Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:36:32 +0000 daydreamwanderer 448765@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I agree with Maestro, but I do think it's important that you tell your FI's parents BEFORE you start telling other family members. It wouldn't really be fair to them to hear it through the grapevine. Plus, if you can get them to understand why you've chosen what you have, you'll have them in your corner to help defend your choice when criticism starts coming.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/small-intimate-ceremony-and-after-party-kind-of-long#post-448376 Wed, 04 Nov 2009 14:20:41 +0000 Maestro 448376@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Once you've made your decision (and it sounds like you have), make it common knowledge to any and everyone who asks that you're having an intimate, low-key wedding. The earlier they know not to expect to have to make travel plans and that they won't be a part of this celebration, the easier it will be for all. Maybe break it up by telling them that you'd love to have them over for dinner (if in town) or a long weekend (if out of town) sometime after you all have gotten married so that you can enjoy newlywed life with them then.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/small-intimate-ceremony-and-after-party-kind-of-long#post-448310 Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:58:06 +0000 Bella Luna 448310@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Hi Ladies (and Mr. Bee!),</p> <p>FI and I have been thinking lately, and it's pretty solid now that we are having a smaller more intimate ceremony in a local park and then an 'after party' as opposed to a reception. The after party will be more of a nice, quiet&nbsp;dinner affair as opposed to what most people think of as a reception (DJ, dancing, bouquet toss, etc). This small ceremony and 'after party' guest list, at this point, will consist of us (obviously), our parents, grandparents (I have 3 sets since my parents are divorced), siblings, niece and nephew, our 3 attendants each and their dates (approx&nbsp;30 -&nbsp;35 ppl). We originally were thinking a larger wedding with about 135 people but that started getting out of control with family drama (you can't invite this person if I can't invite that person, etc you know the drill). Ok, so the question is this.&nbsp;I have had family members (aunts, uncles, cousins) who will not be invited, asking about&nbsp;how wedding plans are going. I don't want to tell them about things they are not invited to, because it seems rude, but it's also&nbsp;rude to dodge the questions. This information about our having a small ceremony/after party is not yet&nbsp;common knowledge so I'm not&nbsp;really sure what to do here. Also, how do we break this to FI's parents and other family members who ask? Thanksgiving is coming up and I know we will be asked about it at his family gathering (luckily my family doesn't do a big Thanksgiving get together anymore).&nbsp;When I discussed the idea of having a smaller ceremony/after party with 2 of 3 sets of grandparents and parents they all thought it was a great idea and how it would de-stress and&nbsp;un-drama the situation. I am thinking that&nbsp;FI's parents and my&nbsp;3rd set of grandparents,&nbsp;might not react the same way.</p> <p>Thanks!!</p> <p>Bella&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>