http://boards.weddingbee.com/ Weddingbee Boards Topic: Telling a friend she's not a bridesmaid en Tue, 14 Feb 2012 14:41:50 +0000 http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-shes-not-a-bridesmaid#post-168250 Mon, 06 Apr 2009 09:31:01 +0000 Lillindy 168250@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I'm glad you talked to her and she seemed okay with how things where left...how lucky of you to have avoided the drama that could have resulted from that! </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-shes-not-a-bridesmaid#post-167215 Sat, 04 Apr 2009 05:39:15 +0000 D.Marie 167215@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Does she read the Bee? Maybe you can ask someone to hint to her to read this instead of having to talk to her since she isnt being reasonable! I had this kind of situation with my sister and she never said she was sorry or anything and just acted like oh well I was the one who was mad and I should have just gotten over it! But we arent really close and I didnt ask her to be a bridesmaid...she will be invited but wont be in it. I pretty much just deal with her for my moms sake and because I know my mom is going to invite her to the bridal shower and I didnt want things to be awkward at my bridal shower so we just went to her house party and she acted like no big thing! But i dont really talk to her that much...i called her for her birthday and she called me for mine and that was it! Being Civil is the best thing....just talk to her...if she doesnt understand then thats on her...at least she doesnt live in Boston any more! </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-shes-not-a-bridesmaid#post-167204 Sat, 04 Apr 2009 02:09:45 +0000 jennred782 167204@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Wedding aside you and she agreed to disagree. If now this is still bothering you and she is moving on you need to talk to her. I would suggest talking it over with her and moving from there in deciding if you&nbsp;want her in the bridal party. </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-shes-not-a-bridesmaid#post-167092 Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:37:20 +0000 Strawberry Gal 167092@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I was in a very similar situation... the difference is that I was previously engaged, chose this girl as my MOH, broke off the engagement, she and I had a falling out then made up, then a year later I was engaged to someone else.&nbsp; I knew that she would probably expect that since I'd asked her to be my MOH previously, that she had the job this time too... only I didn't want it to be that way. </p> <p>&nbsp;The way I approached it was to present to her a different task that I thought she'd be great at.&nbsp; She's very good at organization, so I asked her how she'd feel about being my day-of coordinator.&nbsp; She was kind of cold about it at first, taking in the fact that she was no longer MOH, but then after thinking it over, she came around.&nbsp; I still want to include her, but we're just not as close as we were previously, and I'd rather have someone else in that MOH role.&nbsp; Is there anything you could ask her to do to still be a part of the wedding, but in a lesser role?</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-shes-not-a-bridesmaid#post-166243 Thu, 02 Apr 2009 18:24:18 +0000 soontobeLJW 166243@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Just so everyone knows, I told her. I did it in a very nice way and told her I think we're just different but I still want to be good friends but I'm going to keep it to 5 girls and she could come to everything like the bridal shower and bachelorette party but she didn't have to buy a dress or stand up there. She was Surprisingly understanding thank goodness! She agreed that we were very different and had drifted apart a bit. She said if this was 4 years ago I would be pissed but I understand. We also agreed it would be easier this way since she lived far away it would be hard for her to attend some necessary things with her work schedule. We remain friends and she doesn't seem upset! Thanks to everyone for your advice, I really appreciate it!!! </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-shes-not-a-bridesmaid#post-165260 Wed, 01 Apr 2009 16:02:48 +0000 Brookem 165260@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>I had to do it.&nbsp; It was awful.&nbsp; My story is long and drawn out but in the end, we stopped talking.&nbsp; Her attitude and the way she was treating not only me but Mr. Wonderful as well left me with no choice.&nbsp; I told her that she would not be in the wedding (and that I would have my sisters ONLY) and she flew off the handle!&nbsp; I didn't even invite her to the wedding.&nbsp; It truly was the WORST!&nbsp; I'm sorry for your situation, but do recommend that you face it and deal with it now.&nbsp; Having her in your wedding will put you on edge the entire day.&nbsp; No one needs that on their best day ever!</p> <p>Good luck!</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-shes-not-a-bridesmaid#post-165208 Wed, 01 Apr 2009 14:53:27 +0000 Tanya123 165208@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>That does seem strange.&nbsp;It also sounds like maybe you two are driftig apart because she is hanging out with a new group of people now, who are changing her a bit.&nbsp; </p> <p>I get the impression she is very single.&nbsp; If that is the case, maybe she is feeling jealous that she isn't about to get married.&nbsp; OR she is concerned or annoyed thinking you are the one who is changing, becoming more &quot;settled down&quot;, now that you are getting married.&nbsp; She wants to keep partying, you wanted to go home early.</p> <p>Good luck, I'm sorry you had the fight with your friend.&nbsp; If you take her out of the BP, she might blow up and not speak to you again.&nbsp;And she might also se through a lie, like you are goingto keep it small.&nbsp; But you seem to be prepared for her to do that anyway.&nbsp; Move on the best way you can.&nbsp; Then enjoy your upcoming wedding.&nbsp; </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-shes-not-a-bridesmaid#post-164484 Wed, 01 Apr 2009 06:05:19 +0000 soontobeLJW 164484@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>She hadn't been drinking heavily... I've been considering adding her to the bridal party to avoid it but it doesn't seem fair because now there are a couple other girls I would want to add before I added her! I think I'm going to find it hard to say I know you have put the fight behind us but although I'm not angry anymore I just don't feel the same way. I think we're just different people now with different lifestyles. But that only seems to be a problem when I'm with her and her NY friends who are very different people from my friends.&nbsp; I have asked our mutual friends about it and she told them the same story I did for why she got mad. I just don't want another fight so I may just say I want to keep it small and that after the whole thing that happened between us I decided to have only my other friend in it (My BP consists of my sister, two cousins, my sister in-law and one friend). If she freaks out about it then I guess she's not the kind of person I want to be friends with.</p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-shes-not-a-bridesmaid#post-164436 Wed, 01 Apr 2009 03:38:34 +0000 gloss 164436@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Telling someone they are not a bm is THE WORST THING EVER. My situation was a little different than yours (there was no fight, we are good friends-I just wanted a small party, I never said she was 'in', she just assuned.). Anyways, I got 2 more BM's out of it to avoid the situation.<br /> I know that prob. doesn't help- but you are not alone! </p> http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/telling-a-friend-shes-not-a-bridesmaid#post-164417 Tue, 31 Mar 2009 22:48:33 +0000 mrbee 164417@http://boards.weddingbee.com/ <p>Had she been drinking heavily when she yelled at you at the bar? </p>