Post # 1
Sorry this is so long, but I could really use your opinions and advice!
When my boyfriend (at the time) asked me to pick out an engagement ring, I was so excited that I literally tried on only four different rings at the first store we were at and picked one out that day. I had never looked at rings online before then and everything seemed beautiful to me – I was just so so excited to be engaged to the man of my dreams. It didn’t really cross my mind that I would be wearing this ring everyday for the rest of my life.
I spent the next couple months staring at the ring I had picked out slowly realizing it completely wasn’t my taste. I was so bummed that I made such a rushed decision. I explained it to my fiance and he completely understood. He just wanted me to get a ring I loved. I felt like I might regret parting with the ring entirely, so I quickly (again) decided to just change the shape of the center stone, princess to cushion. Although I liked the new stone shape better, I still couldn’t get past the “swirly” design and tall solitare setting. I just hoped that over time it wouldn’t bother me as much.
Awhile after the wedding (after having the ring for almost 2 years), I nervously told my husband how I felt. He wasn’t upset at all, just completely determined that we would take our time this time around and find the right ring. We spent the past couple weeks looking online for hours and hours, going to countless stores and trying on tons of styles until I finally found one that I knew was the ring of my dreams: a simple cushion halo with round center diamond. The best part is, it looked great with my wedding band, as I knew I wanted to keep that. We bought the new ring and I kept the original setting and plan on putting a gemstone in it that I can wear on my RH occasionally.
Now, just writing this entire process out makes me feel so ridiculous and I’m sure I sound extremely materialistic. The new setting was actually less expensive than the original, and the center diamonds were all around the same size. I just wish I had taken the time in the beginning to pick out a ring that was right for me. I love the ring so much, its exactly what I was looking for, but I have been too nervous to show it to any friends or family because I am afraid of what their reaction will be, and that they will assume that I just wanted a bigger more expensive ring.
I doubt many of you have been in the same situation, but for the ladies who have upgraded your rings, how have you explained it to your friends? How did they respond? Am I crazy for changing the ring again? I can still return the new setting and have the round diamond put back in my original ring, and am seriously considering doing so to avoid being judged and feeling guilty 🙁
Post # 3
@Anna48: I would just say that my DH is such an amazingly understandable man and that’s why I married him – because he understands that I change my mind and still loves me and wants me to be happy and thinks that I deserve to be able to always look at my ring and love it more and more each day and that while it took me some time to find that ring, he is so patient with all my changes. Besides, it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind, isn’t it? 😉
Don’t feel bad. You sound like you just rushed things and your DH is a wonderful, understanding and patient man.
You could just always say it’s an upgrade “just because” your DH loves you so damn much.
Post # 5
@Anna48: Honestly, I don’t think there’s any reason to feel guilty! Your feelings are completely understandable. I agree with PP and I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to judge that. It’s between you and DH. Good luck!
Post # 6
I completely understand you!! I picked out an e-ring quite quickly too, without getting educated. I wanted to change it one year later because of a few reasons: the smoky quartz was getting scratched, the shank was way too skinny for my hands, the large stone kept getting loose in the four prongs, etc. I changed it to a sturdy double round halo setting and loooooove it so much!! I kept the smoky quartz as a RHR 🙂 My fiance understood and when I explained to all friends and family who noticed quickly, I emphasized the function of the new ring. I said it was much more appropriate as an everyday ring.
Then…the wedding band I had purchased to go with the original e-ring wasn’t quite a great match for the new e-ring. A few months after getting married, I decided to talk about it with my husband. He was actually understanding. Again, it was a matter of function (eternity bands get damaged on the bottom) and the band was too chunky for my elegant e-ring. I am now in the process of having a contour band custom-made, as long as I pay for it myself. I’m glad to do so!!
So please keep your “dream ring” and just explain anything you want to people. They won’t care for long anyway and you’ll be the one so happy everytime you look at it 😉
Post # 7
I would not worry about them at all!! Just tell them the truth, if they even notice. Your DH is happy to make you happy and he is fine with it, and this one is more you. 🙂
Post # 8
I recently upgraded my ring too (I had a very similar story to yours, OP) and I have wondered this myself. My conclucsion: I doubt anyone will notice. Yeah, our female friends and relatives probably looked at our original ring, but would they remember it exactly? If they did happen to comment on it, saying, “Unfortunately my original engagement needed to be replaced,” should be short and simple.
I am curious what other peoples responses are to this!
Post # 9
Don’t feel bad at all! feel priveledged and proud!
If you are happy with your new ring and your husband is happy, then that’s all there is to it.
If people ask, you could say it was something he surprised you with. you don’t have to say “upgrade”. Just a change of setting since it sounds like that’s all it really is anyway. 🙂