- 7 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
Okay, bees… This one is interesting!
So we have a guest situation that we don’t quite know how to handle. “Bob” is a first cousin. While the rest of the family is extremely close, Bob has never been very close with the family, only coming around occasionally and usually for weddings, anniversaries and other family functions with free food and flowing alcohol.
Bob has been married for 20 years and has a wife and four kids that we all love immensely. We’ve always invited his wife when we have family girls’ night out, regardless of the fact that Bob doesn’t want to be around the family much (it is a racial thing) and she comes and enjoys herself.
So…We invited Bob and his wife by sending an invitation to their home address. Last night I received the reply card indicating that Bob and A WOMAN OTHER THAN HIS WIFE will be attending. HUH?
I called Bob and he explained that they had been having problems and he had begun an affair almost two years ago with “Carol.” When his wife found out, they tried to work things out and he pretended to end the affair but didn’t. Six weeks ago, his wife found out that the affair was ongoing and kicked him out of the house, so now he lives with Carol and has been with her for nearly two years, so he feels that she is entitled to accompany him to our wedding.
Now, we don’t know Carol and I, personally, wouldn’t want to invite someone who knowingly entered and carried on a relationship with a married man to celebrate our marriage, ya know? I mean, Bob is still married, I’m not sure they’re even legally separated. So… I took the stance that Bob’s wife was invited, not Carol and that if Bob wants to come that is fine, but Carol cannot attend. I also want to call and invite Bob’s wife since she has been part of our family for 20 years.
What are your thoughts? Am I off-base here? FI doesn’t eally care for Bob, so he says just univite him (LOL). What is the protocol here? Numbers are tight and we still have a B-list, but also, I feel it’d be awkward and just morally wrong to have his mistress there—regardless of whether or not the wife attends.
What say you, wise and wonderful bees?