Post # 1
I know proper etiquette says every adult should get their own invite, but this day in age is it really necessary? I feel like now, more than ever, adult “kids” are moving home after college because it’s so expensive to get an apartment on their own, especially here in los angeles. I have more than a few families on our invite list where this is the case. If we send per household instead of per guest over 18 we will be able to order 116 LESS invitations! That’s a lot of money we’ll be able to put in other areas of the wedding!
So what do you think? Should we ignore etiquette for the sake of cost? If you were 24 and living with your parents would you be offended you didn’t get your own invitation?
Post # 3
If you are really looking to cut down your costs on invites, I think you could shift your age a little bit and say “If you are still in college (undergrad), you get invited with your parents”. But after I graduated college, I’d be a little peeved to not get my own invite, even if I was still living at home.
EDIT – note, I wouldn’t not attend or anything drastic like that if I didn’t get a seperate invite. I just think its a respect thing. They are grown adults even if they are still living at home (for whatever reason) and inviting them with their parents treats those grown adults like little kids. Kinda rude IMO.
Post # 4
I’d say it depends how old the ‘children’ are. If they are still teens (even 18 or 19) I’d keep it under “mr. and mr. x and family.” If they are older, like in their twenties I’d give them separate invites. I’ve had invites both ways. Some people will get offended and not attend. I don’t mind, especially if it’s family or my parent’s friend’s kids.
Post # 5
@Mrs.KMM: Not for nothing, if I graduated from college and was still living at home I would have a lot more to worry about than getting an invite not specifically addressed to me.
Post # 6
It would’ve been weird to me to get a separate invite to a wedding when I was living with my parents. I would write “The Name Family”, and specify the number of people invited on the invite.
Post # 7
I had this same problem, although I hadn’t done the math correctly and didn’t order ENOUGH invitations. So what I did was if the adult children were NOT being invited with a plus-one, I just sent 1 invitation to the house for the X Family. But if the children were being invited with a plus-one (like my same age cousin who was only living at home for 3 months while her house was being built) then they got their own invitation.
I probably saved about 6 invitations by doing it this way and no one was outwardly mad about it. I also only sent one STD per household to be green which makes sense because they were magnets, so only 1 fridge per house!
Post # 8
I say set up another rule because 116 less invites is just crazy so I think you have a point there. It would also depend on how much they were each.
Post # 9
I had this happen with a few invites. I had a cousin with small kids who has temporarily moved back in with her parents. I sent 2 invites. But, if they were single and living at home I just sent one.
Post # 10
We sent them to the [name] family. If people had an issue with it, I didn’t hear about it. I was included in my parents’ “and family” invitations even when I was not living at home and engaged. I never had a problem with it.
It might be cultural though because when we were getting names for the invitations for the reception I couldn’t get more than one person’s name for each family unit sometimes, so they were addressed to [person’s name] and family. And even though we asked people to list the names of all guests, we got plenty of response cards back like that also.
Personally I wouldn’t care if I got a family invite and were living in the same house as my family. I asked some “adult” children even not living at home for addresses to send them separate invites and they told me to just include them with their parents. I guess it’s obvious that I voted “per house”!
Post # 11
@moderndaisy: I’m also doing magnet save the dates and just consolidated the list because of the one fridge-one magnet philosophy and that was when I realized exactly how big the difference was
@nyebride: I’m doing pocketfolds so they will be pretty heavy, what we save on postage alone will be a great help
Post # 12
This may be a compromise. Why not decorate a white large envelope to put all of the invitations in and address it to the so-and-so family, but handwrite each person’s name on the individual invites envelopes. The postage cost may be cut in half this way.
Post # 13
I’d say that some should get them, but I understand others should not. I think a lot of it should play a part on how independent they are.
For example, are some of them college students who may be away at school? Get their school address – college kids LOVE getting mail. Do they have full time jobs/help pay for rent? Give them their own. Do they have kids? Give them their own. Now, Joe Schmoe who just sits at home and plays xbox all day? Heee can go with parents.
Post # 14
@Scottielass: That’s actually a really interesting middle ground, thanks muchly
@afbacher: HAHA to the xbox guy! All cousins etc. in college I’m sending to the school because that was the best, good point
Post # 15
I think if you are inviting them with a date then they should get their own invitation. I don’t know how you would address an invitation to parents and their children plus the children’s dates all on one invitation.
I tried to do separate invitations for grown children living with their parents, but I ended up regretting it. Most of them didn’t send back their reply cards OR their parents put the kids names on their reply card.
Post # 16
That’s insane!!! I would def. send out one invite per household. 5 per home is just craziness in my opinion… :/.