(Closed) +1 Rant

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Bee
13843 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

I understand why you are upset, but at least they have the courtesy to ask.  In a lot of circles, bringing a date is a given so I don’t think it is too unreasonable of them to ask if they can bring a date.  Of course, you have the right to politely say no, but I don’t think it’s rude if you’re single to want to bring a date!  Like you said, they probably don’t realize the added expense of that many single people bringing dates.

Just as an aside, we gave everyone on our guest list +1s, and out of 125 people invited, only 3 singles showed up with dates.

Post # 4
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I absolutely understand where you’re coming from!  And chances are, since you said you’re the first of the group to be married, that they don’t know how much money that’d end up being.  I think its an honest question, but you’ll have to give them the honest answer.  Tell them something like- you hate to be a stick in the mud but you guys just can’t swing it, the budget it tight and you’ve already told several other guests that they can’t bring someone.  Luckily, they’re all friends so its not as if they’ll be there all alone.  If that were the case, I’d consider letting them bring a guest or else the chances of them wanting to attend may diminish (who wants to be the only one that doesn’t know someone?).

Post # 5
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

They’ve already asked you? Your wedding is after mine and no one’s even recognized the fact that we’re getting married! For now, tell them that due to budget constraints, you can’t offer anyone  a plus one who isn’t engaged or married. Say teh wedding is very far away and that could change, but for now that’s your answer. And it is nice and perfectly acceptable of them to ask instead of just writing someone else’s name on teh reply card even though it says “We have reserved 1 seat in your honor”.

Post # 7
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think it’s rude to ask either.  You’re absolutely entiteled to say no and that’s not rude either!  However, from their point of view, the reception portion of your wedding is a party, you’re throwing a party at which you will not spending any time with them, of course they’d like to bring a date to a fancish party, that’s a great date opportunity.  Budgets are budgets though so tough luck for them.

Post # 8
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m worried about this too. We are trying to determine our “standard” rules. I have friends who have SO’s but we;ve never met them. We also have others who are on and off again. Then we have others who aren’t in relationships.

I think I may talk to a few of them individually to see their thoughts. Ultimately though, they likely won’t be invited with a plus one if they aren’t in a relationship.

Good thing the guys asked!

The topic ‘+1 Rant’ is closed to new replies.

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