Post # 1
I’ve always been more of a fan of the 1 year engagement, but now that we’re engaged, FI is worried that 1 year might be too rushed. We’re leaning towards a destination wedding in SC June/July.
I guess my hesitation is that longer engagements might lose the excitement. Does anyone feel that way? is that silly?
Also, my brother and SIL have been talking about trying to have a baby in 2 years. This isn’t a bridezilla- all about me- type thing. But, I worry that if they do get pregnant when they plan, she could possibly 9 months pregnant or have a new born and not be able to come to a destination wedding. I don’t think I could deal with my brother and SIL not being at my wedding, especially because I’d like them in our wedding party too.
We just got engaged on Monday, so everything is very new. FI thinks that we should make a schedule as if we were to do it next year, and see if it’s doable. So, that’s what I’m currently working on.
Anyways, I just wanted to know what everyone thinks? If you’ve had a 1 year engagement, how did it go? do you wish you had a bit more time? If you’ve had a 2 year engagement, did you think that was too long? or are you happy you had the extra time?
Post # 3
I don’t think there is anything wrong with a 2 year engagement. I don’t think you ought to worry about your SIL’s pregnancy plans – it’s in the vague future; who knows if she will be pregnant by then? You have plenty of time to relax and enjoy your engagement.
Post # 4
As long as you’re looking forward to something the excitement is going to be there. I had a 16 month engagement when I wanted it longer (28 months to be exact; wanted an April 2014 wedding) to be able to get the wedding I wanted. DH and my mom wanted the wedding sooner.
Post # 5
You guys should plan for what works best for you. Plenty of people get married in waaaay less than a year. I’m having an 18 month engagement. I wish I could have done one year or less bit schedules didn’t permit it.
Post # 6
I had a 27 month engagement, and I’m not going to lie, it was realllllllly long. I felt like it wasn’t as exciting as a 1 year engagement would be. I would try and talk to my family and friends about wedding plans in the beginning but they kept saying, “you still have plenty of time, we will talk about these things when you get closer to your date.” That use to drive me nuts because all I wanted to do was talk about wedding plans but no one got excited until about 1 year out. It could have just been my experience though, because I’ve heard a lot of other people with long engagements say that it was still exciting.
Post # 7
I’m have like a 4 year engagement. You do what you have to and what’s best for you. It’s actually really niced- I feel absolutely zero pressure to make firm decisions, but I can have a Pinterest board without looking too crazy.
I wouldn’t plan your wedding around a potential pregnancy that might occur in two years. That’s pretty much daring the universe to make your SIL 9 months pregnant on your pushed-up wedding.
Post # 8
I’m having a two year engagement because it works better for my job, my FI (he takes a long time to plan/get used to things), and it’s much more convenient bunch of our closest friends who are like family to us. Luckily my family is very excited to talk about wedding plans with me, so the excitement is still there. We’re long distance now and I’m going to move to where he is in a year, so that also gives us something really big to look forward to at the halfway point.
Bottom line is that you need to do what is best for you as a couple. My mom was really pushing for us to have a year-long engagement, but I just explained to her why two years would be better and was firm about it. A year is completely do-able, but if your FI is going to feel very overwhelemed or there are other reasons why a longer one would be better, do that.
Post # 9
@memo: I had a little over 2 year engagement…We got engaged February 2011 and got married may of this year.. I didn’t start planning until may of last year.. I think we enjoyed being engaged without feeling rushed to plan a wedding..2 years didn’t take away from being excited to plan a wedding.
Post # 10
Enjoy your engagement and do what works best for both of you. Don’t worry about something that may or may not happen 2 years from now. It’s out of your control.
Post # 11
I’m having a 1 year engagement, which for our friends is taking our time. FH’s brother and his wife planned their wedding in 2 and a half weeks (though they were actually engaged for a few months and had some things together already). Sister’s friend did hers in about 5 months.
I’m starting to feel rushed now, though, because I haven’t gotten anything done. But I think if I was engaged for more than 2 years I’d get very impatient.
Post # 12
@memo: nothing wrong with a two year engagement, but in one year I’ve had enough time to get stuff planned (mostly ~_^) and be lazy in between. Do whatever time frame suits the two of you as a couple. You’ll be able to plan something in whatever time you have.
Post # 13
I’m having a one year engagement and I think that it’s plenty of time to pull everything together.
Post # 14
I had a 15 month engagement (only 3.5 more months yay!) and it was too long in my opinion. But we wanted either May or October. May would have only been 10 months and I was afraid that wouldn’t have been long enough to get the specific vendors I wanted. So we opted for October (15 months).
Post # 15
I had a 14 month engagement and had plenty of time to plan. We also were planning from eight hours away.
I would suggest looking at venues in SC to get an idea of how far out they are booking and go from there.
Post # 16
I had a two year engagement. We got married two days shy of the two year mark of his proposal. The wedding was still great and we were able to add on a lot of extras that we couldn’t have added otherwise because we had the extra year to plan and save. It also kept us from settling on venues, flowers, vendors, etc. just because of time constraints. It did feel long at times but we had been together for six years by the time we got engaged, so it wasn’t that unsettling.