(Closed) 10 Post-Partum Things They Don’t Tell You

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
  • poll: Now I'm curious, how many, if any, of these did you have post-partum?
    Lochia AKA ridiculously long and heavy period : (38 votes)
    16 %
    Mangled, horror-storyesque vajayjay : (24 votes)
    10 %
    2nd Trimester doughy-fat : (31 votes)
    13 %
    Post-partum depression : (29 votes)
    12 %
    Hair-loss : (23 votes)
    10 %
    Difficulty breast-feeding : (36 votes)
    15 %
    Homicidal thoughts towards your partner : (13 votes)
    5 %
    Hot Hot Hot (flashes, that is) : (17 votes)
    7 %
    Porn star boobs : (28 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    1830 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I’m cringing at the thought of opening this link……but I suppose I better resign myself to whatever is to come!

    ETA:  Ok, I knew pretty much everything on there but it still made me laugh!  I may actually need to come back and reread this closer to deliver date – better yet, I should print it and have my husband read it so he knows what to expect!

    I’m curious to hear from other mommas if they experienced all of these and which issues were the worst to deal with!

    Post # 4
    307 posts
    Helper bee

    hahaha pregnant chicken!!! 

    #2.  yes. very much so. a complete mess. it still is 12 years later…for that matter so are the boobs. wear a bra. and #10 jabba the hut? yes pooing is very scary.

    good luck ladies! 🙂 it will be an amazing ride despite 1-10 being true

    Post # 5
    10714 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    They are all soo true! lol

    I wish I knew these  things before I had my son… I was so lost.


    Post # 6
    5547 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Ha. Wow. I’m in Women/Children nursing classes right now and we just covered most of that stuff. And reading it in the funny manner she did it doesn’t make me any less freaked out. Oww…. I want babies but holy cow it is just SO fun to think about the other effects.

    Post # 7
    879 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    all 100% spot on

    Post # 8
    879 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I love the line from scrubs 

    You’ll fart, poop, pee, and scream, all in front of ten complete strangers, all of whom are staring intently at your vagina, which, by the way, has an 80 per cent chance of tearing

    which is also totally true!!  Sorry Ladies.

    ETA – JD probably should of also thrown puke in there as well.

    Post # 9
    151 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    LOL the author is soooo freaking morbid haha.

    Not to say any of that is untrue! I think everyone is verrrry different though. Some women don’t go through certain things that others do. it just depends on your own body. If other women have an easier time recovering or breastfeeding etc, I don’t really have an issue with that, more power to them! This author has a lot of stuff right, but I think she used broad brush strokes. We’re all mamas at the end of the day and no one is perfect. I’d rather have my little girl spitting up all over me than all of the freedom I had before she came along haha, gross, but adorable too… 😛

    Post # 10
    720 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Scary stuff haha!

    Post # 11
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    That was the scariest thing I ever read in my life :/

    Post # 12
    868 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    All totally true…but you’d know if you read What To Expect!!!

    Post # 13
    4653 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    They forgot something they push on your stomach to get blood clots out your wrinkly feels like a half empty water bed stomach… I was not expecting that.

    Post # 14
    84 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    i agree with cbee!!! Scariest thing ive ever read.

    Post # 15
    1482 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Yeah… I wouldn’t let this “scare” anyone too much. I’ve talked to so many friends about what happens after they had their babies, and I’m sorry, but not all of them had this horror-story ride that this blogger mentions. I realize that it’s supposed to be a “tongue in cheek” article, and that’s how we should all take it. OBVIOUSLY things don’t go right back to normal after you have a baby, but I think everyone’s experiences post-labor and delivery are different.

    Post # 16
    2894 posts
    Sugar bee

    That article was so terrifying I read it with my disgusted mouth open horror face and now I kinda don’t ever want to have kids….yikes! I get that every experience is different. But ALL of those things sound horrible. Guys officially now have no excuse to be terrified of fathering a child. That is exclusively a woman’s right. I think my ovaries just ran away…

    The topic ‘10 Post-Partum Things They Don’t Tell You’ is closed to new replies.

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