1. Who is dictating who stands beside you? Tell them to shove off and pick who you want. Typically your MOH stands next to you, if that is what you mean. And I’d assume you love your MOH enough to want her to stand there.
2. My FSIL gave me crap for 6 months about the dress I picked. She felt it made her look “trashy.” I told her I wouldn’t pick out dresses that made my BMs look like trash. We finally got this figured out with my FI having to talk to her, but if they want to volunteer themselves in, they can also volunteer themselves out. Let her complain, she can have an opinion, but if it gets too stressful for you, say something.
3. I’m split on making BM’s help out. I think the MOH should to some extent because typically you are close with your MOH, but consider their situations with school, work, kids before jumping on them. Also, ask them to help you out as a friend instead of telling them they are a BM so they should help out.
4. Take it over yourself if the MOH didn’t do it. Will be less stress and drama.
5. She is your FSIL, you should invite her…no matter what the situation. If she feels offended or doesn’t like what you guys do that is her problem. I’m taking one for the team and inviting mine even though she has caused nothing but problems. Be the bigger person. We brides were made to be tough!
6. See #2: If they volunteer in, they can unvolunteer out. She doesn’t have to come. Or maybe ask her what some of her ideas are. Maybe you will be open to some? She is your friend after all.
7. and 8. If you’re looking at your bachlorette party as something you have to do, then don’t do it. It is suppose to be stress free and fun. If it is creating stress and drama for you, then just don’t do one or do a simple dinner out.
9. & 10. Cry, girl. Get pissed off for a while. And then step back and breathe. Talk to someone. FI should understand if you’re marrying him or mom or friend. Put your foot down on issues you feel strongly about. Also, discussing it with your FI would be a good idea so that he can help back you up in situations and be there for support.
I have cried and got mad plenty times, but I keep telling myself this is the way my FI and I want it, so that is how we will do it. The more you share with everyone, the more people will try to control. It is hard not to talk about your own wedding, but it is less stressful in the end. You will be ok, and you will have a gorgeous wonderful wedding marrying the man that you love <3 Good luck.