I'm planning on getting three of my five maids really nice gifts. Problem is I don't know when to give it to them. Three of them went above and beyond their "duties" that I wanted to show them how much I appreciate everything they've done for me. Though all three live far away (2 lives a few hrs away and one is out of state) they have asked me countless times is there anything they can do to help me. I gave them a reasonable list and everything was accomplished. How lucky am I? I don't want to hand them their gifts in front of the other two because what I'm giving them would pretty much look like crap The other two maids have not once in the 19months of our engagement ask if there's anything they can help with. They live 15 MINUTES away! I know there's no money burden b/c their grandma would give them the funds (no matter how much) in a heartbeat. BTW these two are my soon to be SILs. I've known them for a loooooooong time. And the "trend" for them is if your family good luck getting help from me but if you're just a friend of theirs they will bend over backwards to help you. 3 of my BMs will be staying with me the night before the wedding. Should I give it to them there privately? I just don't want the whole family wondering why they didn't get presents at the RD. Have any of you ladies encountered something like this and what did you do?
Hey there! I'm glad to hear there are some special people who've helped you out so much with your big day. That's awesome.
I think you should make some alone time just for the four of you, maybe the day before the wedding. Take a while to just relax and chill with the lovely ladies who've proved their friendship throughout your engagement and will be right by your side during the wedding, no matter how hectik!
I have a bunch of family issues and am trying to figure out when to gift who and what to give them so I don't start WWIII! Uggh. I'd give your special 3 their gifts separatley because it'll quell friction and give you a moment to thank them genuinely without others (who can sometimes be so rude!) around. I'm pretty much doing the same, making each round of gift giving private so people don't get their tails in a knot and they know I am really showing appreciation for whatever they've done (big, small or abnoxious!) with the gift (and it's price/meaning) that I chose. Lol.
Anyways, good luck and I hope you'll post pictures of the big day!
One more thing I might add. If FI knew what I'm getting my 3 BMs, he'd most likely go out and buy the same things for my SILs and tell them it's from me You know what. I think the night before the wedding would be perfect. We're having rehearsal in the morning and hopefully have the RD right after... would that be called rehearsal brunch? Hopefully my girls and I will be able to get away for a bit so I can have my moment with them. These girls I've known since elementary school and one from junior high... I have so much I want to say to them. Future SILs? Ummmm... Thanks for fighting your way to be in our wedding? Thanks for being MIA when we needed help.... Thanks for bitching when we ask for help.... Thanks for calling us when YOU need help... Thanks for expecting a gift...Which one should I pick? LOL
ustwiggie: What are you giving to the abnoxious people?
Girl I feel your pain! Bridesmaids are supposed to be supportive! I had issues with a "few" of my gals and I was in the same situation. I'm actually going to give them theirs at the rehearsal dinner. One of my BM I was annoyed with (who calls me her best friend from high school) has been M.I.A over the year I've been engaged! She let me know a couple of weeks ago, that she wouldn't be able to be in the wedding because of cost. (all she had to get was a red dress, in her choice of style and cost, as long as it was flattering on her!)
I'm now giving the gift I had intended to give her to a friend that has been above and beyond helpful! In the end my flaky friend made the desision for me! Hopefully its as easy for you! Good luck!
I dont think there is any rule of when you should/have to give the gifts. Just do it whenever it is convenient for you--you could even have them sent to their rooms if you are all staying in the same hotel. You could go ahead and say, "I am giving you all different things" which will alert any one of them not to run and tell the others--hey didnt you LOVE the (diamond brooch) we got.
I'm planning on getting three of my five maids really nice gifts. Problem is I don't know when to give it to them. Three of them went above and beyond their "duties" that I wanted to show them how much I appreciate everything they've done for me. Though all three live far away (2 lives a few hrs away and one is out of state) they have asked me countless times is there anything they can do to help me. I gave them a reasonable list and everything was accomplished. How lucky am I?
I don't want to hand them their gifts in front of the other two because what I'm giving them would pretty much look like crap
The other two maids have not once in the 19months of our engagement ask if there's anything they can help with. They live 15 MINUTES away! I know there's no money burden b/c their grandma would give them the funds (no matter how much) in a heartbeat. BTW these two are my soon to be SILs. I've known them for a loooooooong time. And the "trend" for them is if your family good luck getting help from me but if you're just a friend of theirs they will bend over backwards to help you. 3 of my BMs will be staying with me the night before the wedding. Should I give it to them there privately? I just don't want the whole family wondering why they didn't get presents at the RD. Have any of you ladies encountered something like this and what did you do?
posted by NorCalBride 307 posts 2 months agoHey there! I'm glad to hear there are some special people who've helped you out so much with your big day. That's awesome.
I think you should make some alone time just for the four of you, maybe the day before the wedding. Take a while to just relax and chill with the lovely ladies who've proved their friendship throughout your engagement and will be right by your side during the wedding, no matter how hectik!
I have a bunch of family issues and am trying to figure out when to gift who and what to give them so I don't start WWIII! Uggh. I'd give your special 3 their gifts separatley because it'll quell friction and give you a moment to thank them genuinely without others (who can sometimes be so rude!) around. I'm pretty much doing the same, making each round of gift giving private so people don't get their tails in a knot and they know I am really showing appreciation for whatever they've done (big, small or abnoxious!) with the gift (and it's price/meaning) that I chose. Lol.
Anyways, good luck and I hope you'll post pictures of the big day!
posted by ustwiggie 117 posts 2 months agoOne more thing I might add. If FI knew what I'm getting my 3 BMs, he'd most likely go out and buy the same things for my SILs and tell them it's from me
You know what. I think the night before the wedding would be perfect. We're having rehearsal in the morning and hopefully have the RD right after... would that be called rehearsal brunch? Hopefully my girls and I will be able to get away for a bit so I can have my moment with them. These girls I've known since elementary school and one from junior high... I have so much I want to say to them. Future SILs? Ummmm... Thanks for fighting your way to be in our wedding? Thanks for being MIA when we needed help.... Thanks for bitching when we ask for help.... Thanks for calling us when YOU need help... Thanks for expecting a gift...Which one should I pick? LOL
ustwiggie: What are you giving to the abnoxious people?
posted by NorCalBride 307 posts 2 months agoGirl I feel your pain! Bridesmaids are supposed to be supportive! I had issues with a "few" of my gals and I was in the same situation. I'm actually going to give them theirs at the rehearsal dinner. One of my BM I was annoyed with (who calls me her best friend from high school) has been M.I.A over the year I've been engaged! She let me know a couple of weeks ago, that she wouldn't be able to be in the wedding because of cost. (all she had to get was a red dress, in her choice of style and cost, as long as it was flattering on her!)
I'm now giving the gift I had intended to give her to a friend that has been above and beyond helpful! In the end my flaky friend made the desision for me! Hopefully its as easy for you! Good luck!
posted by danigirlygirl 50 posts 2 months agoI dont think there is any rule of when you should/have to give the gifts. Just do it whenever it is convenient for you--you could even have them sent to their rooms if you are all staying in the same hotel. You could go ahead and say, "I am giving you all different things" which will alert any one of them not to run and tell the others--hey didnt you LOVE the (diamond brooch) we got.
posted by ju1244 254 posts 2 months agoNot rude at all! There is no rule that says you have to give 5 sisters the same gift, why would you have to give all your bridesmaids the same thing?
posted by Hyacinth 33 posts 2 months ago