- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Yikes! That was really irresponsible of her to wait so long to buy her ticket. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.
Are you sure you want to hunt down a replacement bridesmaid this late in the game? Do you have someone in mind that you'd love to have in the wedding but didn't think you had room for, or are you just trying to make the sides even? Because unless there's a particular person who's really special to you that you'd like to ask, I think you should skip the stress of getting the dress rush shipped to you and altered, and just have one less bridesmaid than groomsman. My wedding had 4 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen, and it worked great!
That's terrible. I hope everything works out for you, and that you haven't already prepared your programs (if you're doing them).
I am so sorry to hear that, I hope that everything works out for you. We have enough to worry about in these last 12 days
Wow i'm sorry but she definitely dropped the ball. Those tickets should have been bought MONTHS ago. That'd make me mad...definitely irresponsible
Don't worry about replacing her. Just move forward without her.
The fill-in BM might be a bit hurt knowing her status. Oh and the stress of dealing with the dress! Just go with uneven #s. One of my BMs dropped out sort of last minute (3 wks-1 month), but her son was diagnosed with cancer. We worked it so my brother walked me down the aisle, and then took his place as a GM, and for the recessional, my niece had two escorts.
Wow, that sucks :-( I agree with the PP's - don't worry about a replacement, just enjoy your day!
Why did she wait so long to get the ticket!? Could you help her with the ticket?? sometimes if you buy tickets at the lasst minute, they'e cheaper because they want to fill the seats so I would keep looking. Try http://us.lastminute.com/ they usually have cheap flights.
If you're able to help her by paying for her ticket and really want her there, I second what jspeby said and see if you can find a cheap flight. I also totally agree with what some of the other posters have said: assuming she didn't find out about your wedding yesterday, this is something that really should have been taken care of ages ago.
Anyhoo, otherwise go with uneven numbers.
UGH! Totally irresponsible. I would be really upset, moreso over the fact that she didn't take it seriously enough to buy her tickets in advance, knowing she had agreed to this. I don't care how expensive the tickets are... why did you wait? And why did you agree to the wedding- knowing you would have to travel, if you couldn't financially swing it? The ecomony is rough, we all know it, but she is friend enough that you asked her to be your BM so she must be pretty close with you... I would think she could sacrifice the money, knowing how important your friendship is.
Have you considered maybe that you pay half of her way and she pay the other half? I know it isn't FAIR to you, but if she is your BM I am sure you really want her to be there for you. I know one of my friends had a few people who had to fly as BMs and she paid for either their plane ticket or their dress. I thought that was a nice gesture, not something I think is a must, but still nice as one didn't have much.
Goodness, how irresponsible and inconsiderate! I agree with the others, if there's no way financially to make it work I'd go with uneven numbers. But I cannot believe that she didn't make her travel plans as soon as she was asked to be a bridesmaid!
Oh man, that is terrible. Very irresponsible of your bm. I agree with what people said above---if you really want her there, see if you have it in your budget to help pay for some of her ticket. Otherwise, I would just not worry about replacing her and go with uneven #'s. I hope everything works out for you! Good luck!
Wow, what a friend right?! To think she hadn't even bought the plane ticket knowing well in advance your wedding date!! I would be so angry and hurt! But what can you do but move on...I say don't worry about having to replace her, that would cause more stress! There's nothing wrong with uneven numbers in the bridal party, a lot more people are doing it these days! Besides I think if you were to ask someone at the last minute that might hurt their feelings too knowing that their just a replacement!
omg, i would be mortified and terribly mad at my friend for not getting herself in gear and buying a ticket ahead of time. I feel for you - if i were in Chicago i'd help you out :-P
Agree with others that this is incredibly irresponsible!
I would either a) try to help her with the ticket cost or b) move on without her. Uneven numbers will be fine.
That's horrible of her to do! Such a selfish, irresponsible move. It might be worth looking into getting the dress rushed not from her but from the manufacturer. It's an added expense but she doesn't seem the most reliable to get the dress out to you in time. The other person in mind, are they similar in size? Jeez, I hope it all works out for you!
Sorry to hear that...that was pretty irresponsible of her to wait til the last minute to try and book something. I agree that uneven numbers in a bridal party is no big deal. I will probably have 4 groomsman and 3 bridesmaids. So don't worry about it, I'm sure you have enough things to deal with before your wedding!
I've had luck with www.lastminutedeals.com--- but what is "way too expensive" for her? I just took a quick look at Travelocity and it looks like a lot of flights are in the three hundreds. That doesn't seem like it's a whole lot more than if she'd booked three weeks ago.
What about the 'name your price' on priceline?
My guy just got a ticket to visit me for $200 less than the going price.
Wow, how inconsiderate! I certainly understand being strapped for cash, but talk about last minute.
I wouldn't replace her - being asked to be the last-minute stand in might be a little hurtful. Just forget about it, carry on with your plans and enjoy the day with your ladies who will be there.
That's really rude of your bridesmaid. I'm sorry, but that's just a really crappy excuse and reason, and part of me wonders if something else is going on preventing her from coming. Suffice to say, now you know what kind of a friend she is.
Speaking from personal experience, I had a bridesmaid drop out a week before our wedding (so, last Saturday). Although, she had a good reason - she came down with a very serious illness, and was not able to travel while we got treatments. Our programs are already printed, and she already had her dress and everything, so things really couldn't be changed. We're just leaving her out and not replacing anyone. We will now have even numbers on each side (before, I had one more person than my FI), but had the numbers been uneven, we wouldn't have cared.
I wouldn't bother anyone with the job last minute. It kind of seems insincere, you know? Just leave her out, and move in with everything as is. It will make your life a lot easier, trust me.
I'm sorry, hun. I know it sucks, but just remember, as long as you and your FI get married that day, that's all that truly matters. We've had so many bumps in the road that we really know how true that is.
I'm so sorry! I have to agree with what several people already said - if you ask someone now, it may be seen as being "second choice" and I know you don't want to offend anyone.
Probably better to just proceed as is, and go with the uneven numbers. If you can help her with the plane ticket, I think it would be more than gracious, but that is obviously your choice and contingent upon someone having the money to purchase the ticket for her.
thank you everyone for your support. my flower girl mom/best man's wife offered to fill in for her. which she has been a huge help with the wedding so i am honored to have her fill in.
i did look at flights for her on the last minute site. she said she wouldn't feel right about me buying her a ticket. she said she would rather give us a nice wedding gift instead of her spending lots of money on a plane ticket, dress, hair, nails... i told her the opposite...that it would mean more to have her by my side. she said she was waiting until the prices went down, and then she said the went so high she couldn't afford it.
this has stressed me out so much, i haven't broken out with acne this much since high school. why a week before the wedding? ugh...
thanks for all the support bees!
I am sorry you had to go through this! But i am glad it has all worked out (to an extent)
Take some time to relax, sleep and eat well and hopefully the de-stress will help your skin!
Your wedding will be wonderful!
*HUGS*
LBreezy-- thats so terrible. I can't even imagine how stressful that would be. I'm glad you were able to find someone to fill in for her that you feel comfortable with.
I'd just like to add another side of the story though, if I might. I know that pretty much every poster before me has commented on how irresoponsible/selfish/horrible it is that she didn't book her flight early. And I can see why they would say that. But the state of the economy doesn't make exceptions for weddings, and maybe she truly truly couldn't afford it.
To those of you who said she should have booked her flight long ago-- maybe she didn't have the money a few months ago. I've been unemployed for 2 months and just now found a job working at a grocery store with a college degree! I started 2 weeks ago and still don't have a paycheck. Maybe she thought she could scrape together the money by now but something else happened, and she just couldn't.
I'm a big believer in giving people the benefit of the doubt, and I hope that you will do that for your friend. There is no way I could get together the money for a wedding right now, I can't even afford to buy groceries. She may not be inconsiderate, selfish, or irresponsible. She may just be struggling.
L breezy, I'm glad things have worked out!
I do have one question, and I hope it's not one that's going to stress you out -- but are you 100% sure your ex-bridesmaid ordered her dress, and that it's going to arrive in time for the new bridesmaid to have it altered? If the LA bridesmaid is in a really in a bad place financially, or if she procrastinated on the dress too, it might be that there's no dress coming (which could be another reason for her to skip the wedding). Like I said, I hope that doesn't stress you out, but I think you should be prepared for the possibility that your ex-bridesmaid might not rush the dress to you in time for your new bridesmaid to wear it.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ellisrobertson | 22 |
| MsPanda | 14 |
| aduarte3201 | 14 |
| pengoala | 11 |
| ShellVee | 10 |
| ladyartichoke | 9 |
| londonchick | 9 |
| londonpeach84 | 8 |
 KimKimmieKim |
8 |
| ndreighton | 7 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Leahhh | 1 |
| MrsBlueSeptember | 1 |
| mspanda13 | 1 |
| KimKimmieKim |
1 |
So the first thing i read this morning was an email from one of my bridesmaids. she lives in LA and i am here in chicago. she wrote in her email that plane tickets got way to expensive and she cannot afford to fly out! all i was thinking is 12 days! are you serious!?! i figured i woud have her rush send me her dress so i can ask someone ese last minute. turns out here dress isn't even in yet! i am sorta freaking out. i just hope there is enough time to get the dress here and altered by the wedding next weekend!!! any advice?