- 2 weeks ago
FI and I have been together for 12 years. Throughout our entire relationship, he has lied to me, mostly about smoking and money.
Some things he has lied to me about:
– said he was going fishing but went to a party at his sister’s house, two weekends in a row
– badly injured his arm while drunk at aforementioned party and said he fell while fishing
– regularly led me to believe he was working late when he was actually hanging out with friends
– told me a friend was staying with us for the weekend when he had actually agreed to let his friend move in. I directly asked if he was moving in and FI adamantly said no.
– lies and pretends he called this person or that person for things that need to get done, like the IRS or the dentist
– 10 years ago lied and said money had been stolen but he had actually spent it
– multiple occasions over the years has lied to me telling me hasn’t smoked in X amount of days when he had never quit
– will agree to do something when he has no intention of doing it
– got a negligent driving charge and never told me about it
– has lied to me about how much things cost
I am fed up and don’t know what to do. His lying is unbearable, but he has good qualities, too. He’s very caring when it comes to my dad and brother, both of whom are unwell and need a lot of help. FI stood by me for years when I was very sick and unable to even leave the house.
I just caught him smoking on Tuesday. He had supposedly quit a month ago. He got all upset when I caught him and said he had been unlucky to be caught smoking for the first time since he quit after finding a cigarette and matches in his old coat. Caught him smoking again the next day.
I have bitched him out for lying in the past but it happens again. He has never done anything to change it, like going to counselling. I don’t know what to do and where to go from here.