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Hey guys,
I'm new to this site. So here's the deal: I'm engaged and I've got a 3 stone diamond ring already. But, lo and behold, every single day it seems to get smaller and smaller :/ Good news: I've found a wedding set that I absolutely love but I'm unsure of what size carat to get or what stone to get. I really like the 1.25 to 1.5 carat size in either a Round or a Brilliant (Flanders) cut :) My fingers are pretty small, 4.25 ring size. What do you guys think? I don't want it to look like costume jewelry, but I do want something that I love. Also, if y'all have pictures for examples, I'd really appreciate it!!
Thanks!
i guess i don't understand - you already have a ring, but you're getting a new one? what do you mean it is getting smaller?
You want to upgrade? Who's paying for this? Your or your FI? I wouldn't recommend upgrading before you even get married - you have you're whole life to get a bigger diamond, why are you so unhappy now? Did the ring you were given not meet your expectations? My ring is .5 carat but I'm happy with it since we didn't go into debt over it!
I'm glad I'm not the only one that's confused! I think I'd stick with the ring I had for now. My FI would be offended if I was trying to replace the ring he worked so hard to get me.
Leaving aside the upgrade issue (it is a personal choice I guess, I know my FI would want me to love my e-ring)...here are my two cents:
I never heard of a Flanders cut before, but after doing some brief internet searching it seems like a better bet, if you like the cut of it, would be to go with a radiant. First, the 1.25 or 1.5 will look smaller as a Flanders because of the dimensions of the stone (ie the way it is cut). Also, I don't know where you live, but it seems like that cut is very difficult to find and that since it is a 'proprietary' diamond cut, a lot of the price will be for the name tag, as opposed to the diamon itself.
Secondly, a round brilliant is the most popular diamond cut sold, it is classic and elegant and beautiful.
Good luck either way!
My only inquiry about upgrading so soon is what makes you so sure the 1.25 or 1.5 will soon be "small" in your eyes?
If size is an issue, go with the 1.5 if you can afford to and your FI is 100% supportive. But tread cautiously, the fact that you're upgrading so soon after getting engaged b/c you're concerned with the size could come across as ungrateful to your FI. He likely picked out what he did for many reasons, affordability being one of them
You could always add more bling to your ring with wedding bands. My center stone is the same width as my band and while i personally feel a larger center stone would look better, i would feel weird asking for a bigger one so early in our marriage. But once i added two sparkly wedding bands, it balances out the look of the ring better and now it doesn't bother me at all. Unfortunately sometimes aesthetics go hand in hand with size, and i KNOW my husband wouldn't have seen the aesthetic aspect i was talking about, he would have heard "i want it bigger" and been upset. Going with such a costly upgrade is something you'll have to handle very tactfully and carefully. Something that perhaps could be left for a 10 year anniversary. Especially if you want a down payment for a home or anything else any time soon.
But i do think that if something big+sparkly will make you happy, you can add to your existing engagement ring to get the affect without hurting your FI. Anyways i think you have options if you're interested
Dude, I'm confused too. Yeah, the stone of our erings could always get bigger, but I love mine because it MEANS something, not because of its size, you know?
I never ever want to upgrade. My ring is perfect, and I would never want to trade in "the original" diamond that he proposed with.
But if size is more important to you, I say go with the bigger one, because soon that one may not seem big enough for you.
ETA: Wow, I sound snarky and I really didn't mean to. I guess I just meant that you should be happy with your ring, and if you don't get the 1.5 then will you end up regretting it?
I have a perfect square radiant (sorry for iphone quality photo!!) which as mentioned above does look just like the flanders cut (mine is a little over 2 cts). I get compliments on it all the time. Rounds & princess are the 2 most popular, and I feel like rads have the best of both - the less common square shape of a prin and the brilliant faceting (with some step cutting) of a round. I agree with PP that you'll pay for the name "flanders" rather than just getting a square radiant. The ratio is harder to come by than the more traditional rectangle, but I still wounldn't call it hard to find. Good luck!
I found a slightly more clear photo (though it also illustrates quite well how infrequently I clean the thing - I swear it's not at all cloudy in real life!)
I agree with everyone else to make sure this won't hurt your FI's feelings or come across as being ungrateful.
Otherwise, obviously get the bigger one if you are worried that it will look small to you. Whether it looks like "costume jewlery" might depend on where you are in the country. Larger stones are common in NYC, for example. I'm in the Balto/DC area and would feel sort of ostentatious wearing something that size on a daily basis... but I'm sure I could get used to it! :)
If you have questions about quality and which cut you should get, I'd refer you to the forums on pricescope.com. There are many diamond experts there that are more than willing to help, and a ton of stuff you can read on the website to educate yourself.
@ twalila - I love when you post pics of your ring and wedding band set. They are beautiful!
@rachelrobin - thanks!! sadly that's the only photo of have of the band now since FI has hidden it away from me until the wedding=(
I'm a bit confused too???? Upgrade? I would thin this would really hurt your FI. I saw my engagement ring in an atinuqe shop, told my FI about it and he bought it months before asking me to marry him. He went back and forth because he thought I deserved better. Let me tell you it is the most beautiful engagement/wedding band set I've ever seen besides the fact that it's unique. It was VERY inexpensive. The thought that he wasn't spending a lot of money on the ring is what was bothering him..... I will cherish and wear this ring until the day I die.
wow, I wasn't expecting so many comments! What I meant that it was "getting smaller" was at first, it looked huge to me, but now that time's gone on, the shrinkage factor has come into play (it sounds terrible, I know.) For clarification purposes, I have my ring and love it. I really do. But when we first got it, I was more stoked on the thought of getting engaged that I didn't do much research and bought the first one I thought was pretty. My fiancee bought it, but we didn't spend too much on it. Secondly, I'm a nurse and I'm not buying another "real" diamond" because twice I've ripped off my gloves and the diamond went in the trash (and I was not about to go digging in body secretions to go get it out). I'm getting an Asha diamond because they look amazing in person and if I lose one of those, I'm not going to be heartbroken. He's not really concerned or upset about me wanting another one, he just wants me to be happy. I definitely should have done more research before we went and bought the ring!!!!!
Thank you all for the posts and pictures :)
I have a 1.25 round. Cushion cut will take almost a half carat in appearance off your stone, and princess cuts are the most expensive for the size.
SO are you getting a dummy diamond then? Like a fake?
I have a 1 karat colorless diamond but its the 3 princess stones....
I just bought two diamond weddings bands... and it looks HUGE!
It's really an issue of personal taste. Some ppl love the look of bigger rocks and some ppl think that big rocks on small fingers look gaudy. I say go for whatever that makes both you and your FI happy.
Mine is around 1.3 carats total, and I think it looks huge on my hand. I have small hands too. Ring size is a 4.
Are you sure it won't be annoying to have a big rock on your finger at work? I work in a lab, and no one here has big rings because it sucks to take gloves off and on (they get stuck on the rock). A lot of women have small diamonds, or wear an eternity ring at work and keep the single stone at home
ETA: If your ring is fitted properly and the stone is set well, there is no reason your ring should be flying off into the trash!
Yeah... even if you get a fake diamond that doesn't cost much, aren't you even more likely to lose it when you rip off your gloves?
I'm only gonna wear the band at work. No more big diamonds at work. I learned my lesson the hard way :/ and yes, i know that it's not fitted correctly. The chain of stores we bought it from (apparently) has a bunch of customer complaints about that...again, I should have done a heck of a lot more research!
To help give you an idea of size, here is my 2.03 carat ceneter stone. I am size 4.5. IMO it doesn't look costumey, but may help you determine if you'd think 1.5 would. Sorry for the bad iPhone pics. Hope this helps!
Ring11.jpg (90.8 KB, 535 downloads) 1 year old Ring12.jpg (96.4 KB, 395 downloads) 1 year old ring13.jpg (90.4 KB, 332 downloads) 1 year old 
So I have a question, if you aren't planning on wearing it to work anymore (ie, no more getting caught on gloves and such), is there a reason you don't want another real diamond? And did you not have your first diamond insured so you could replace it when it did go in the body fluid filled trash?
I'd just make sure that you and your FI are in complete agreement about this as I know my FI worked really hard to save for and pick a ring I would love and cherish forever. I know he'd be hurt if I wanted a new diamond (particularly right after getting engaged).
If you're going to get a simulant, I wouldn't go that big. IMO, it's best to stay around the 1 ct mark or smaller for a sim, for a few reasons -- one of them being that you are likely to get compliments on the size of your stone (esp. on a small finger/hand like yours, it will stand out), and then you are stuck either pretending it's a diamond or awkwardly saying that it isn't. Or worse, if they point blank ask you if it's "real" (have to lie or admit it!). Another reason is that the larger you go, the more apparent it will be that it's not a genuine diamond. I personally think that if you love the look of a larger stone on your finger but can't afford a diamond, you should just choose a different gemstone. Think about how much that changes things... "WOW what a gorgeous ring!" "Thanks, it's a sapphire!"... KWIM?
FutureKMM, I do not want another diamond because we could really put the money towards other things right now, and in the next few years, we're gonna start a family...I just feel kind of lame spending a few thousand dollars on a ring that looks crazy similar to a diamond simulant. I don't really care if it's real or fake, I just want something pretty. I should've went with a simulant before.
LittleMissMango, yes, I totally know what you mean. I think I'm just gonna have to go and try some different carat sizes on so I can see what looks the best on me. Thank you for your input :)
This doesn't help much...but my princess cut is exactly 1.25 carats. Color is E.
Here is my 1.03 Carat F color diamond. I have a size 6 finger and I think it still looks very big
DSC_0370.JPG (1228.4 KB, 494 downloads) 1 year old 
hi...im a size four.. mine is a totaly weight of 1.75... my hand is tiny as well..... here is a bad pic cause the ... i dont know yall's lingo yet (sorry for the ya'll,im southern) FI??? has the cam overseas with him but here ya go:
ring2.jpg (462.8 KB, 434 downloads) 1 year old 
.25 carats on a diamond that size isn't going to make a noticable difference.
Have you tried on the other? I thought I wanted at least a 1 ct center stone, but when I tried them on I though they overwhelmed my hand (my ring size is 3.75) so I ended up going with a .6 ct.
And remember, price increases quite steeply once you go over the 1 ct mark. You can sacrifice some things to get a bigger diamond (color, clarity, and cut), but I personally would rather have a stone with excellent "cut" over the other 3-C's. A well-cut stone is going to have much more sparkle and pizazz. And a well-cut stone will actually look larger than a poorly cut stone because of the way the light hits it.
Here's my .6 carat (color: G, clarity: SI1, cut: Ideal) center stone on my 3.75 size finger:
jakoplic_e-ring02.JPG (88.2 KB, 349 downloads) 1 year old 
If you're looking for something that costs a little less, I went with a sapphire. I'm not super crazy about diamonds and my fiance and I talked about it well in advance. So I now have a .80 carats pink sapphire and I love love love it. Sapphires are the second hardest (second to diamonds) stone so they're durable. My roommate actually just got engaged and has a white sapphire ring and it's beautiful too.
If you do go with sapphires, I would reccommend going with a natural sapphire. I got mine from the Natural Sapphire Company and they were amazing to work with.
Good luck!
Maybe you should go for Moissanite if you want such a big ring.
I'm going to suggest going with a round stone. I have princess cut diamonds and they rip through my gloves all the time. Yes, a Flanders cut is a little different, but I imagine any edges would cause the same problems.
I had the same problem! My finger is a 4.5 and I went with a 1.25 instead of the 1.5 carat. The 1.5 was too big and baubly. I don't regret my decision at all! Remember, your ring has to fit your finger and personality. Big and baubly was not my personality and I have a tiny finger which, lucky for me, makes my 1.25 carat look like a 2.0 carat!
Mine is a 1.76...ring size 3.75. We originally wanted a 2 carat, but when I tried it on I thought it looked a bit too big for someone my size and age. Plus, we decided to go a little smaller but have a better quality diamond instead.
Maybe I'll get an upgrade when I'm older.
I hope it helps!
DSC06543-2.jpg (93.4 KB, 599 downloads) 1 year old
Here's something close to what you're looking for, except my ring size is 5.
1.25 Tiffany Solitaire
tiffany_engagement_ring.jpg (1604 KB, 1,665 downloads) 1 year old
My two cents (only speaking for the round cut since I don't own a flanders) - go with the 1.25ct.
I said I wanted a 1.5ct round, which I eventually got, thinking it sounded like a good size and not knowing how it actually looked on my size 5.5 finger. In hindsight, I believe a 1.25ct, or even a 1ct, would've better suited my taste. Don't get me wrong because I adore my ring, but flashy is not my thing, and I feel like 1.5 carats is just a hair out of my comfort zone.
My ring size is five, here is a 1.5ct moissanite on my hand.
Also, you should keep in mind that the setting you choose can make a stone look a lot bigger.
@deathbydesign: do you have a 1.25 ct so you could show me like that? i try and picture it but can't!
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