Post # 1
Our wedding is not for another year, but I’ve already got something I’m stressed about (ok, I do get easily stressed). My Fiance is the youngest of 5 siblings. One sister has 3 kids, one sister has 2 kids, and the other sister has 10 (yes, count them 10!) kids. That makes a grand total of 15 nieces and nephews. Only 3 are over the age of 10. We don’t talk to/get along with his sister with 10 kids. Whenever there’s a family function, the kids are NUTS and she can’t take care of them. Our reception space is kind of small, and I can’t handle a million kids running around. My family is tiny and I only have 3 cousins, 2 of whom will be over 10. I didn’t think his sister was even going to come to our wedding, but I was informed she’s planning on it (she didn’t go to her other sisters weddings). I had originally wanted one flower girl and one ring bearer from his family. My only girl cousin will be 8 when we get married, and I REALLY REALLY want her in the wedding. I want to do a “only kids 10 and up” but I’m getting a TON of flak from his mom and other sisters. We want our reception to be a big party with lots of dancing and booze, which really isn’t appropiate for kids. I don’t want to piss people off, but my cousin WILL be in my wedding. Do you think a 10 and up rule is ok? Should we then nix the flower girl/ring bearer? I’m a huge people pleaser, but I don’t know if I can make everyone happy. By The Way, his parents are paying for almost none of our wedding.
Post # 3
Oh wow, that’s tough. I think this might be an all or nothing situation. Unless you don’t mind offending some of the people involved. Like his sister he doesn’t get along with may be upset but if that isn’t important it may not effect your decision. But there are going to be others that may be at least bummed. If I were in this situation, I think I’d just scratch the whole kids thing. It may be difficult to pull off but it seems like its the easiest remedy.
Post # 4
If your budget can handle it, maybe you could pay for a sitter and a room for the kids with activities for them. I would make the reception adults only, except for the kids that are in the wedding. You could also offer the parents a sitter that they could pay for themselves. You might make a few people mad, but it is your wedding and if your reception venue is small and there is going to be alchohol, they should be more understanding.
Post # 5
Yeah, this is a tough one. I think, honestly, the best sollution is to invite them, and offer to contact or pay for or go halfsies on a babysitter for the reception. Or see if mom is planning on cutting out early. Basically, try to find a way where they can come, say high to their uncle, and then be removed from the boozy dancing part.
Though, as a kid who spent her childhood going to boozy, giant weddingsin reception halls named things like “Cow Palace,” I can tell you that I had a great time. I thought it was hilarious when my uncle took off his pants on the dance floor. Didn’t scar me.
Post # 6
If we had to money to do something like that, hire sitters or put them in another room, I would jump at the chance. But we don’t. We’re on a super tight budget. We’re not close to any of the nieces/nephews. I am close to my cousins though. I just imagine all these kids running around our small (but gorgeous!) reception and causing all types of problems. Maybe I’m being too harsh, but I’m just not a kids person (yet). Ugh this is stressing me out and it’s a year away! We don’t really care about upsetting the sister with 10 kids but I don’t want to upset everyone else. Also, I should add our wedding is 1.5 hours away from all of my FI’s family (2 hrs for my family).