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Ok welll im 16 years old, im wanting to elope with my girlfriend, shes siad find a place and well do it , were very much in love, and we dont wanna wait till were 22, I know ill upset my parents and grandparents but hey, ill do anything to forever be with my baby, we have so much in common, i know what love is, so dont post stupid crap on here saying, do you even know what love is? i do so dont ask, i just need to know if maybe we should wait a little longer or what
You should definitely wait a little bit. I was am not the same person I was when I was 16, so all judgments aside, the smart thing to do would be to wait.
if i married the man i was 'in love with' at 16 id be in a world of trouble.
I vote to wait a bit longer you are very young and in love - so why not wait!
Enjoy what you have right now and grow up together. Get your education and your future set up and then get married.
If you are truly in love there is no need to rush it!
I think if you even felt the need to write this post to ask if you should wait a little longer you've already answered your own question. There's no harm in waiting just to make sure. And I also agree with Honeybear, I'm most definitely not the person I was at 16 and never would have made this choice then.
You should wait until youre parents okay this. You may know what love is, but if your families arent behind this one hundred percent then that will make for a rocky foundation for your marriage
I doubt you are going to get married without a parent's permission. Most states require you to be 17 or 18 to get married without a parent's permission. Are you two ready for this? Do you have jobs that will support you? If I ran off and got married at 16, my parents wouldn't support me so I wouldn't be expecting your parents continuing to let you live with them and pay for your food. You will have an increadibly hard time finding a place to live since you have no credit (and can't apply for credit until you are 18). I am not saying that you aren't in love, but you need to seriously think about it because it isn't just getting married. You need to then be able to support yourself and your spouse.
Definitely wait - I am marrying the man I loved at 16 but that's very unusual. If you love this person so much, definitely wait. :)
Bella
No need to wait until 22, but how about 18 at least? At that point it will be way easier for you each to get jobs and support yourselves. Plus, your families will be more supportive after you've finished high school. I think that high school sweethearts getting married is very romantic... but its even more romantic to be able to make rent when you're 30! ;)
wait.... if its really love, time is no object.
I started dating my FI when I was 16, we were in love then. We are still in love now at 27.... we both grew up together and knew that we wanted to wait for marriage when we had our careers/life in order.
Please wait. If I would have married the guy I thought I loved at 16, I would be miserable today. I think that it would be amazing if you two stayed together long enough to eventually get married, but there is no rush - you have plenty of time. And, as MissAsB said, 16 is very young to have to be supporting yourself - would you be up for that? Take some more time an enjoy being young - get married when you both have stable jobs and are finished with high school!
My knee jerk reaction is to tell you to wait, if for no other reason then just because legally you can't get married until you're 18. Sorry! Also, would you really want to upset your parents and grandparents this way? Is that any way to start a marriage, if you legally could anyway, with your parents and grandparents resenting your decision?
In two years, when the law says you can get married I say go for it! There's no hard and fast way to judge if you're in love or not. There's no hard and fast way to judge if you're mature enough to get married. You're the only one who knows if you're in love enough to committ yourself to another person for the rest of your life and you're the one to know if you're mature enough to realize that you'll be responsible to that person and you will be responsible to any children you have. You're the one who knows- not us.
The question is: why do you want to get married now? If you two are meant to be together, you will still be together and in love in a couple of years, when your parents and grandparents could be involved and you're able to celebrate your love and relationship with the ones close to you. Years down the road, you might regret not being able to share that special moment with them. All good things come to those who can wait.
I would wait and enjoy life with your girlfriend and if you're still together after all this time, the wedding will have been well worth the wait!
PS - I got married to the person that I loved at 16 (even though we weren't together at the time). But I did understand that we needed to be able to support ourselves so we just enjoyed our time together until we got married last year and I feel so much better knowing that we have a home and money to be able to afford food, etc.
How on earth are you going to support yourselves at 16? If your parents aren't behind the wedding, you can't expect them to continue to pay for your food, car, rent, housing you etc. I'd say wait until you're at least old enough to be done with school and have the option of working full time at a job that will support two people. Setting up a household and supporting a family is difficult enough at any age, why rush?
I am not going to answer your poll - because other people should not dictate when you get married.
But you both should be able to support yourselves, be old enough to get married in your state, and be mature enough for marriage! Only you and your GF can answer those questions.
parents spoil me my parents would be behind it, but we just wanna get it done with
Honestly, we wanted to get married sooner but we waited and it feels so much better being sure that our parents support us and having money to live on without depending on our parents, like I said before.
because were tired, of evry1s shit, we love each other, and we just dont wanna wait, i wont have sex till im married..
A marriage/wedding isn't something you should "just wanna get it done with" I'm not advocating the big huge get together but it should still be something you look forward to. Not back on with regret.
My sister is planning to marry the guy she fell in love with at 16, so I don't think you're too young to have met "the one", or that you don't know what love is.
That said, I vote for waiting as well, at least for 18. I can only speak for myself - it's important to me to be able to experience all life has to offer, and at 16/17 I would have felt that I was giving up on some experiences to struggle to support each other and our home together. I have no idea what your situation is or what the best path is for you; I can only say what I would do for myself.
I would wait, if nothing else for the chance to share the day with your family. It's probably more important to them to be there for the occasion than you know.
I can't tell you how long you should wait because I don't know you or your life. For me, it would have been a mistake to do so at that age. I've changed so much since I was 22, 23 years old and my relationship is better off for it. I know marriages that started in their teens/early 20s that work and those that haven't but I can tell you that waiting will not hurt or hinder you.
Are you prepared to be financially independent? Job, insurance, education? Your marital status affects those things - financial aid for school, taxes, insurance premiums. You have to make sure you're ready for all of that - marriage is more than just an emptional union. Are you planning on going to college?
Oh yeah, I completely forgot that you will most likely lose your parents insurance if you get married. Trust me, you don't want to be without insurance!
I'd go ahead and try some permarital counseling and see where you're each individually at. Perhaps you are very mature and have stable plans for your life, but perhaps you're not quite ready- either way counseling will really help you know for sure.
I guess I want to know, what's the rush? You're still a child, don't forget. You can't just run off and do stuff without their permission! Are you in high school still? When do you graduate?
You can't legally get married yet and I'd tread carefully--in some states, if she's 18 and you're barely 16 (let's face it you JUST turned 16 4 months ago), that could be statutory rape. Stay on good terms with your parents--they could actually turn her in for this and it could be a crime. Again, depends on the state. After all, "almost" doesn't count, legally. Doesn't matter if you consent. She'll be 18 and you're 16. Now if you have parental permission (my cousin got married at 16 so i'm not exactly balking, ok? i've seen it work--they just hit 25 years), that's one thing. Most places won't marry you that young anyways--I don't even know if you can go overseas to do that, but regardless, you can't travel all alone like that anyways! Most places have restrictions on age for checking in and whatnot.
But seriously, why do you want to get married? Why can't you just be together, in love, until next October? Is she going to college? Do you? Do you have jobs that you think will actually support you long-term? Can you provide for her? How do you plan on working out your future?
I think there are a lot of logistical problems you may have not worked out yet. I think you guys should work on cementing your actual lives. You don't want to end up not graduating high school and making a bad decision over this. Especially one that can realistically wait a couple more years. You can love someone and NOT get married ya know? Give it time. You may want someone else in a few years and you may not. Who knows?! But, don't you want to do something with your life?
i agree with @Azin if you really are thinking about this...premarital counseling might put things in realistic terms for you (responsibilities of marriage.. not just "tired, of evry1s shit" ..which sounds spiteful. Either way, only you can make the decision thats best for you and your SO because you know the situation/how you feel.
Give it time. I'm 22 and was very much in love with my first "bf" we were separated lthousands of miles and by and ocean, but I am glad that I never acted on impulse. I gave myself time to grow, to learn, to have new experiences. You don't have to date other people, but you two should enjoy life. How would you guys support yourselves? 7 bux an hour doesnt even feed one person let alone can you rent an apartment with that kind of money. Love is beautiful, but you can't feed yourself, clothe yourself with that. It is at 22 and my current bf of two years is 26 we have money problems and we're at each other's throats now and again. We are adults and yet we can't even handle the stress and pressure. How would you at 16 do it? Go to school, enjoy being boyfriend and girlfriend its the best time of your lives. You don't have to worry about jobs, insurance, cars ..grown up things that even adults can't deal with.
Hm, adding on that bit at the end about waiting to have sex til you're married is interesting. I am wondering if your desire to have sex with her is the guiding reason behind wanting to get married now. If so, that's not a good reason to get married.
My FI and I got together when we were 16 and we knew from the start that we were going to spend our lives together, but I'm still glad we waited. We have both definitely grown and changed since then and went through some rocky periods, and I think it's important to work together and know that you can get through times like that because you still feel that commitment rather than because you are tied down and feel like you have to.
Also, based on your most recent post it sounds like a part of this is sex. I know that you love this girl very much, but make sure that love is the REASON for this, and not a detail. If you get married so that you can start having sex you will probably regret it later.
What does your girlfriend do?
Is she supportive of you dropping out of high school to become a mechanic? Is she going to college? Do you really think you can support her and a family on that kind of income? Completely independent from everyone else? Just think about the kind of life you guys will have--is there anything you want, better maybe? I'm a big advocate of DOING something with your life, not just settling. I hate to see a 16 year old give up on themselves and just drop out of high school.
And you want to get married because you're tired of everyone's shit, you want to have sex with her, and you love each other?
I'm sorry but those sound like a typical 16-year-old vent to me. A very immature one--your reasons for getting married are just really shallow I guess. You're tired. In fact, I'm glad there are laws that require you to wait until you're at least 18 to get married. It's one thing to MEET the person you want to marry and another to actually wait. Good things come to those who wait! Particularly growing up.
If anything, look into what grown-ups do a little more. I agree with the counseling at least! There are taxes and all sorts of bills and all that stuff. Can you budget everything out? It could be very overwhelming and if you don't have a FIRM hold on your finances, you and your girlfriend could be in a lot of trouble, financially-speaking, if you aren't ready for the real world.
"were tired of everyone's s***!" - you should not be getting married for anyone but yourselves. Everyones s*** will still be there even if you are married.
"we love each other" - that's amazing but true love will wait until you are ready and can support yourselves.
"I won't have sex until I am married" - this is screaming out at me - Is this why you want to get married! Yes it is a wonderful side affect of being married but it is NOT a reason to get married. You made the choice to wait until marriage and so you should be able to wait until you are ready for marriage. If this is the main reason you want to get married - reconsider your choice to wait until marriage! But before you do this definitely check the laws in your state to make sure your GF isn't doing anything illegal when she turns 18!
If you want it, and she wants it, and your parents will support this, then why are you asking a bunch of strangers whether or not you should do it?
So basically what you're saying is that you want to have sex.
iam scared to have sex, she wants to expeirence it, im ready for it all ,im devoted to making her happy
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