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It seems like in a lot of these "how long will you wait" threads a lot of younger brides/wives say they will wait a long time if they are marrying young. I always feel in the minority (on WB) because DH and I plan on being young (early/mid 20s) parents. I also know and know of a lot of people who say they'll wait and then change their minds soon after their wedding.
Are there people out there like me that said they wouldn't wait for a long time, didn't care about being in the minority/criticism, and stuck/ are sticking with it?
Are there people out there who are strictly set on waiting, despite pressure from others to have a baby?
Please vote in my completely unscientific survey. =)
We got married at 24 and 23, and our daughter was born when we were 25 and 24. :) We said we were going to wait, but my husband has had baby rabies for years, and it didn't take a lot of convincing for me to change my mind. To be honest, we thought we'd want more time to be newlyweds, but after the wedding, we were like, "Why are we waiting?" It just made sense to go ahead and start a family.
I said I'd wait and then got knocked up on accident. lol, You should probably add that option.
I'm 24, three months married, and 100% set on waiting several years before TTC. My husband and I are so excited to finally have some "us" time, and we're very happy investing our time and energy into our marriage for now. At this point, we're not physically, emotionally, or financially prepared to be parents.
I don't have even a little bit of baby fever yet, so I'm very much expecting my resolve to hold for the next five or so years.
@Mrs.Spring We are very similar! We also thought "why are we waiting?" and we talked about it and decided that some parts of our lives did need some work before ttc and others weren't as important. We'll be ttc in 2012 but if it were up to my husband we would start NOW!
ETA- Also, I realize that 24/25 can be a lot different on average than 18/19 so there's that reason for you...I just chose 18-24 because that's what a lot of people tend to choose for "young brides."
@Running Elley: Those are FANTASTIC reasons for being ready now. Congratulations on your success in life so far, your marriage, and your choice to TTC!
We'll be getting married at 22, and our plan is to have a baby by the time I'm 25. We'll see if that's too "short" of a time for just us, though. : )
I'm 23 and we're planning on waiting for 6/7 years. We have a lot of student loan debt holding us back. Also, there is so much I want to do to the house and even with my life before kids. I'm definitely not ready yet!
I'm 25 but I'd like to reply anyway. :)
@zippylef: That's exactly what I say!!! I want to have kids maybe a couple years after we get married I am just terrified of it! I am an only child and was never around babies. FI LOVES kids, though, and doesn't think it's as funny as I do..
Gemstone: We are sort of opposites but I love that you know what you want and are sticking to it! Hope you are enjoying your first few months of marriage!
Running_Elley: I agree! And I'm so sorry about your MC. Glad to know you're trying again and hope you get your BFP soon!
Well, I'm not married yet so I suppose it could change but... I'll be 21 when we get married and FI 23. I'll still have a year or two of college to go (I skipped a year for financial reasons so I'm behind, haha) and I'd really rather not try to balance 30 hours a week of work, school, and pregnancy/baby. If it happens it happens I guess... but I'd like to be maybe 25 when we start trying and FI is good with that. We're broke right now anyway. :P
I wonder if the economy affected anyone's decisions either way? It certainly did for us.
ETA- by which I mean our financial situation could have been a lot better a lot sooner without the crappy economy!
My hubby and I got married May 2010, I was 20 at the time. I'm 22 now and pregnant with out first. I initially wanted to wait about 5 years. I even made a list of things that had to happen before we had kids:
Me: Finish school (at least my AA anyway)
Stop working as a nanny
Him: Get a "real" job (he was working at Lowes and had a masters degree in teaching lol)
Get health insurance
So I thought all four of those things would take awhile, but then in January I got laid off from my nanny job (they just couldn't afford a nanny anymore), I found out I'd graduate in Dec. with my AA, my husband got a GREAT job at a college and has great benefits with it. All in one month this happened.
So we talked about it for a few months, started TTC in March and got pregnancy in June.
Sometimes I wish I had waited a little longer (at least til we own a house), but obviously there is no changing that now lol :)
I was 23 (almost 24) when we got married and I said we would wait 3-4 years before starting to try. I just turned 25 and while the baby fever has increased in severity, we are still waiting. We will start to try around the time I turn 28.
ETA - DH was 26 when we got married and will be almost 31 by the time we start to try
My partner and I are planning to wait at least 3 -4 years after we get married, mostly because buying a house is our first priority so we will be consumed with that process, redecorating, etc for at least the first year or two depending on how quickly we find a house. And we also want to do a bit of travelling and more saving before we have a child. Fortunately/unfortunately, since we're both women the TTC process has to be meticuluosly planned so we definitely won't have any accidents or spur of the moment babies. So we will probably end up waiting the full time we're planning, possibly longer depending on how long it takes me to conceive.
Not married yet, but we'll be 24 and 23 when we get married. The PLAN is to wait 2 years when FI has had time to promote in his job and it also gives my business time to grow more. But if we get PG before then, we'll welcome the surprise, it will just be a little tight.
We're 21, and are planning on waiting.. I just got implanon (a form of birth control inserted into your arm) so it will be at least three years since that's how long the BC lasts!
I think it depends a lot on where you are in your life. If you are financially stable, don't have a sufficient amount of debt, and think you're ready, who cares if you are young! My husband is also military and younger parents tend to be the "norm" amongst the military so that is definitely giving me a little bit of baby fever when I see all these girls younger than me pushing their cute babies in baby strollers.. also with him being active duty and me working full time we are pretty well off compared to others our age.. but we still plan on waiting! We're just enjoying being newlyweds and being able to go out together and have "us" time!
For right now, we just got a puppy! Definitely not the same as a child, but also a good learning experience as far as whether or not you will have a "good cop bad cop," (He'll get angry when puppy has an accident and she'll run to me, vice versa) and an eye opener on the fact that he does NOT wake up to crying in the middle of the night... tee hee.
I guess I'm just saying it all depends. If you feel like you're ready, then who cares if you're young! We are already "minorities" by being young wives, might as well be young mothers too if we feel like it!
i got married at 24 (im 25 now) we said we would wait a year or so, we seem to be on track for that.
I'll be 25 when I tie the knot in three months. We want to have our first child before we're 30, but we want to wait a few years first, too. That is both our plan and what we've told everyone. If we do end up with an oops, though, we'll be thrilled.
@PitBulLover: I swear - sometimes I'm convinced we are twins or something!
I was 23 and DH was 24 when we got married (we're 24 and 25 now) and we said we'd wait for 3-4 years to TTC. We want to spend time as just a couple and be at a point financially where I can be a SAHM (we'd be fine and excited if I got pregnant now, but I'd likely have to return to work which neither of us want). I definitely have baby rabies and have for a long time, but my desire to be able to stay home with my kids trumps my desire to have them NOW.
So unless my BC fails, we will be sticking to our 3-4 years after the wedding timeframe to start TTC.
@happymrs: Thank you! And yes, we are opposites, but I totally respect where you're coming from, and I think it's awesome that you and your DH are on the same page. You sound so happy together! :)
@Mrs.KMM: I KNOW! I always see your responses and then Im like yup thats what I wouldve said haha. Its the same for us that Id like to be able to be a SAHM and right now we're just not at that point! Baby rabies isn't fun though!
@happymrs: It definitely seems that way for us. I would be a lot farther forward in school if I had been able to find a job, and FI is in school to become a paramedic but the job market for them is really tight right now so we're worried it could take a while for him to find a job after school.
Me & my SO will be almost 23, 24 for the wedding. We will graduate college that same month and start jobs later in June. Ideally we will like to start TTC about 4 years after the wedding, once we are more established in our careers and have had time to get accustomed to our new place. Unfortunately (or Fortunately) we both have a really serious case of babies rabies which might make us move the baby making timeline. I'm open to the idea of TTC after the first year of marriage and I know SO would love to.
I got married when I was 21 and my DH was 24. We said we would not try before September 2011 because it would mess with me graduating in May 2012 with my BA. We stuck to that plan :) Though everyone thought I'd have an announcement by March 2011!
I'm 23 and was when we got married as well. We said we'd wait 1-2 years but some things came up and we started TTC immediately after the wedding :)
We'll both be 23 when we get married. FI doesn't want to have kids. I say it's because he's 23. I have an IUD that's not up until 2014. And I'll probably get another after that. So it'll be 2018/2019 I'll be 28-30 and I'm pretty okay with that.
We said we'd wait 5 years at least, but now I have baby rabies! We still know we need to wait at least 2 more years, but it will probably (hopefully!) end up being sooner than we originally told people.
I turn 23 right before the baby will be born.
I have been ready fo kids since right before we got married. I am in the "We're going to wait" to keep people off my back category. haha. Mostly my Mom because this is her first grand baby.
We actually started TTC in June, shortly before our first anniversary. = )
I'm 19 and strictly set on waiting. I want my PhD first. So it'll be another approx. 7-8 years, if things go as planned.
FI and I kept having this argument about what "a few years" meant as far as when to start TTC. We both know that we want a family and we are are emotionally ready for parenthood. His main concern is being financially ready. We are both blessed to have very good stable careers at such a young age, but right now neither of our employers are paying anything towards health insurance and adding a baby would definitely put financial strain on us. So FI, bless his heart, has opened up some savings accounts. One of them is our "baby" savings. He has a plan for how much we need to contribute to the account each month to be financially ready in 3 years. I love him and his practical thinking. So the answer is 3 years. Firm. I am going on Mirena at the end of the month and I will have it removed in 3 years.
EDIT: sorry, FI is 22 and I am 21.
other..? We already had a kid by the time we were married & never really had a "waiting" period set in stone. We aren't planning a military maneouver to get pregnant, but we're also not being anal retentive as to avoiding it.
we're just kind of going with the flow and if it happens, it happens when it happens. We'd both be ecstatic if we were pregnant tomorrow, but at the same time it wouldn't kill us to wait 6months-1yr.
I am getting married in January and I will almost be 23 and my FI will have just turned 25. It really all depends on when I get a job. I graduate in December with a degree in education. I just need to get tenure before we can start having kids, so I will at least be 26, but I definitely want to have at least one child before I turn 30. My FI has some serious baby fever right now, so I really hope we can make it 3+ years! haha
well i guess i am in the very small minority here who got a "surprise" bfp!
we were very happily surprised, but definitely not expecting it! we had told people we were waiting 2 years, but the two of us knew it was going to be more like 1 year. it ended up being six months.
Wow it is interesting to see the very different places we are all coming from!
Lovemysailor- I also think it has to do with what you WANT out of life. Some things (advanced degrees, huge houses, travelling more) just take more time than others.
I have to go back to school, so after I go back and graduate, we can try. Or we can try while I am in school. Either way, it will def. be over 2 years before we try, when I am closer to 27/28.He will be early 30's, so he doesn't want to wait as long as I do, but I see where he is coming from and we agreed on waiting till I am around 27/28.
We just got married on Saturday we are 23 and are waiting till we are 25 to try because we are planning on moving and wouldnt want to try and coordinate around a baby.
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