18 year old’s getting married?

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee

@cassandra102012:  I think it’s just that most of us looking back on who we were and who were with at 18 would never have been happy with being married and/or staying with that person our whole life. A lot changes in just a few years and I think it makes a lot of people nervous for young people to make such an adult commitment at such a relatively young age.

That being said two of the most solid couples I know did meet or get married at around your age, so you never know! I would just try to keep your chin up and remember that their hearts are in the right place. I hate unsolicited advice myself, I understand how it would get annoying after a while.

Post # 4
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

You sure sound like a very mature 18 year old! Best of luck to you guys.

Post # 5
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@batwoman:  This this and more of this.

 

Post # 6
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

All I can say is whats the rush, if you are still going to be together 10 years from now why not wait a little longer. You have a lot of life ahead of you, in 5 years you will have grown and matured a lot. (I am 24 btw and been with my SO for 7 years, we are getting married this year).

But that said, it is your life, live it how you want, no body can tell you otherwise.

Post # 7
Member
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Sounds like you have a lot of people who are worried about you and want you to make good choices.

If they are doing it to the point of pressure and annoyance then ignore them. That would be the mature response, imo.

Post # 9
Member
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

You do what you know is right, age has nothing to do with maturity. I’m sorry that you have to deal with people being rude. I know a lot of people on these boards like to advise young brides to wait because you change so much in your early 20’s, but I have a lot of issues with that and don’t think it’s true for everyone. Most of the change I’ve had in my life has been because of huge dramatic events (that coincidentally occured often when I was 17-19), not slowly getting older over time. You keep changing in some ways your whole life, but if you’re with the right person, that love isn’t going to go away, you change and grow up together, and that support from a partner is a stabalizing force. No one really knows what’s going to change in the future, no matter how old you are, you just have to put faith in your relationship and make that comitment. 

Post # 10
Member
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Good for you ๐Ÿ™‚ I am also 18 years old and just got married this past september and I wouldn’t change a thing! We do have a daughter but that isn’t why we got married, we have been through so much together and I cannot imagine living my life without him right here with me. We have our issues but no more than anyone else and we work through them just like everyone else does. I do understand why people are so against people our age getting married though, a lot of 18 year olds that I know are nowhere near ready to be married but that doesn’t mean it cannot work. Good luck, feel free to message me if you ever feel like talking ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 11
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

The 20 something boards have a lot of support for this situation and was a good place to post. For most of the people on here, we have all grown so much since we were 18 that I agree with @batwoman:  … Had I married the man I dated for 3 years when I was 18 or 2 years when I was 21 I would have gone through some incredible divorces.

Only you know your relationship, so wishing you all the best!

Post # 12
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@cassandra102012:  hey girl although i am not 18 im 20. i know how you feel. even 2 years later people are all your too young and blah blah. well guess what, what they say isn’t going to change a damn thing! Let them talk! you love ur FI and he loves you. that is all that matters hun. i am EXTREMELY lucky that my immediate family and his immediate family is totally supportive. His family is actually the one paying for pretty much everything they are totally my rock! espeically his mom! i love her to death. but anyways don’t let what others say dicate ur day. you love him he loves you. thats all that matters in the end (:

Post # 13
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Young love is so beautiful! My husband and I were dating since 15 years old. We would have both gotten married as soon as we were legal but decided there is no harm in waiting as we knew we wanted to spend a life time together so what’s a few more years. We dated for 8 years before getting married last year. He was 24 and I was 23. Before our wedding we bought our house together and secured our jobs and sorted ourselves out. People actually took us seriously and respected the fact that we were being mature and taking responsibility for our actions. I understand your madly in love but there is no need to rush. Being engaged is such a beautiful time, do it as long as you can! My hubby proposed to me at 21 and we had a 2 year engagement. If your secure and stable in your relationship there is no rush, you do some much growing between 18-25 you owe it to your relationship. I wish you both all the best and I am just giving my personal opinion, at the end of the day each to their own and best of luck to you both.    

Post # 14
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@batwoman:  Agreed.

But at any age, you’ll get issues. I’ve heard of ladies on here at 25 getting hassled for being too young. I’m 20 and I just looove when complete strangers laugh in my face and tell me I’m too young to be married. I smile and politely reply “Yeah, I’m probably too young to be a college graduate too..”

 

..granted I have two more quarters until I get my BA, but I leave that part out. ๐Ÿ˜‰

 

Point is, do what you feel is right. Life’s too short to let others make your decisions for you.

Post # 15
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I met my FH when I was 18, freshmen in college. Still together 13 years later! I am thankful we were there for each other through thick and thin. You will both definitely change alot over the next 10 years but there is no reason to think you can’t do it together!

By the way, read through some of the other threads on here and you will see that families are critical no matter what age the couple might be. Chalk it up to concern for you and caring about your future, if you can, rather than criticism.

Best wishes to you and your FH!

Post # 16
Member
11397 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I was 19 years old when I got married. But my story is a tad different. No one judged us or said the “to young” line. All of our family was excited & happy for us. Its very normal where I live for people to get married younger. So no one outside of family has said anything either.

We had been together 4 years (actually 4 days shy of our 4 year anniversary) when we got married. We had been living together almost a year prior to getting married. I will be 21 this year & all in total my husband & I have been together for 5 years as of December last year.

I can understand where people are coming from even though I was a young bride. I know most young brides wont agree. However I look at my 17 year old sister & could not imagine her getting married next year or even in two years. She is just to immature & has never had a real serious boyfriend. She is also not financially ready. I don’t even know if she knows how to cook. The list goes on.

There are alot of things that come to play with younger brides or younger couples. Alot of younger couples do not know how to argue fairly, manage money, be responsible, run a house hold, ect ect ect. So when someone young mentions they are going to get married that is what alot of older people start to think about I suppose. I assume its hard to understand. I assume you feel attacked. Try not to take it that way. Be calm. Take their advice. Ask for advice!

For the people talking badly about your parents raising you, ect. They are not people concerned about your well being. They are just people talking. Let it go. No one like that is worth stressing over. If you & your FI are ready to take the next step then do it. No one talking can stop that. ๐Ÿ™‚

EDIT: Might I add when I said we was living together a year before marriage I meant on our own. Stable, paying our own bills.

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