(Closed) 19 engaged & pregnant no support

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I just looked in the mirror…..I had my first child at 19 and was engaged, got married a year later and had my second child….I did get divorced a few years ago but that was because we were put in an impossible choice.

I dont think having a child young is the end of the world (Infact I think it is fine-if you have your head screwed on)I also got sick after my second child and had to have a hysterectomy at 22. I stayed at home with my kids for the first 7 years, then went and finished study and now have a full time career….

As long as you know what you want in your life you will be fine…just keep your mind positive.

As far as your family is concerned, I think they will come around….It sounds like they are just a bit shocked by it all and are thinking about how hard it was back in their time when they had kids.

Post # 4
Member
1780 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

have you thought of doing online classes while the baby is still really litte, that way its kind of the best of both, you can stay with baby AND continue your education at your own pace….having a child at 19 is by no means the end of the world, people who are fake would still be talking crap if you were 29 and engaged and pregnant, haters will always hate, so surround yourself with positive people who love and support you, i know many people who were married and with child at a young age soon after knowing each other, my parents are one example my mom said i do at 19, ten months after having my sister, and they have been married for 28 years….if its right its right….and kudos to your dude fo staying around! It is devistatingly sad this day in age, how many guys leave when they need to step up and be a man! So atleast he is willing to stand by your side!!

Post # 7
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@lilbear24:  When your family see’s that little bubba…they are going to smother him’her with love….you will be fine hunni 

Good luck with it all, STAY POSITIVE & strong and don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life

P.S I did 3 certificates (by correspondence) while the babies were small, they mostly just slept and I would get bored lol

Post # 8
Member
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I became a mom at 18 years old and I echo PP that it is not the worst thing in the world. We didn’t have the option of online classes back then so I delayed my education until my daughter started middle school. But I don’t regret the timer spent raising my daughter and I did eventually get my degrees and now I have a career. Not everything goes as planned and we just got to learn how to roll with it. Your family will come around, especially when the baby comes! And three hrs. isn’t that far away!

 

Post # 9
Member
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I don’t really have any advice, I just wanted to say good luck and I wish you all the best!  I will say a prayer for you and your little one

Post # 11
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Your family really should be more supportive of you and encourage you to make a good future with your fiance and your new baby. If your fiance can be a good husband and father, I see no reason why you can’t still pursue an education. Your family is overreacting and being extremely rude.

Post # 12
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m so sorry your family is reacting badly.  You will make it just fine, I’m sure.  Just please don’t let go of your education entirely! 🙂 Best of luck, i can’t imagine how stressful this time must be for you

Post # 13
Member
8884 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’m sorry this is happening. I can’t believe your family isn’t supportive and that makes me so sad.  But I can guarantee you the bees here can be great moral support! 🙂

Post # 14
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

((HUGS)) it can be so confusing when your family doesn’t support the things you do.  It won’t be easy but, meh nothing worthwhile ever is.  It’s great you have some plans to continue your education and it sounds like you have a great guy to help you out with everything.  Lean on him for support, and once the baby is here, I’m sure your mom will come around.  I’m sure your Mom didnt’ want you to have to struggle, like she did, and she’s probably scared.  My mom was the same way, she had her first kid at 17, and prayed daily that I would finish college before I had a child.  Give her some time, I’m sure it’s just because she wanted the best, and easiest time for you. 

you’ll want the same for your baby too!! Congrats on the baby too!!!

Post # 15
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@lilbear24:  I totally relate to your story, only that my bf at the time didnt wanted to be by my side when I got pregnant, so consider yourself lucky to have by your side someone that loves you enough to have a family with you. My mom also expected me to be independent she also had me when she was 19 years old and stop studying and working and she always said that she didnt wanted the same for me. When it happened she became such a horrible person, she didnt support me and I also didnt had any support of my ex bf. I ended up losing my baby and I still cry occasionally when I think about all that happened. I always think that I could have done something different and then my baby would still be here. My advice is, step up for you kid, you are the only person that she/he has. Even when it seems that you cant go on, find in yourself the strenght that you need, and dont give up, cuz if you do, you gonna regret not having you child for the rest of your life. I dont even know your name, but i will be praying for you! Best wishes sweetheart

Post # 16
Member
993 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You have your own family now! Your man wants to be involved, try to lean on him for support and your family will come around.It is likeLy their own issues and regrets they are dealing with that they are pinningBon you. Stay strong and take good care of yourself for that little one! I’mproud of you for sticking to what you want to do with school, you are an amazing person.   Thinking of you!

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