- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
So I received an email today from a dear friend of 15+ years who lives on the west coast. I sent him a STD but didn’t really think he’d come because he has been unemployed since 12/06 & flying to NYC for New Year’s isn’t cheap. The email said, “WE will by flying in….”
I am happy he plans to come, but concerned because likely the “we” includes his 11-year-old daughter and the STD was addressed to him alone. Another friend got married a few years ago & despite the invitations specifying “adults only” for both ceremony & reception & providing free babysitting for guests’ kids, he insisted on bringing his daughter & she was a distraction during the ceremony & acted up at the reception (spitting out food on the table, throwing silverware & food on the floor, etc). He is one of those parents who thinks everything his child does is “cute” and doesn’t understand when others are annoyed or bothered by her.
FI & I agreed that the only kids at the ceremony or reception would be the ones from the bridal party. We don’t have kids yet & prefer a child-free evening, dinner won’t even be served until after 8pm and with 50+ kids in our families, we simply neither want nor can afford to include people’s kids.
Now, the “we” could also be referring to his college roommate who lives 1.5 hours from me on the east coast. We’ve met several times over the years and we’re cool, but I certainly would not invite him to my wedding. Dear Friend has met several members of my family over the years & they even keep in touch via email & Facebook, so he will surely know people at the wedding. He isn’t married or in a relationship, but since he is coming from so far away, do I afford him a plus one?
I want to respond to the email tonight & set the expectation so he is aware upfront of whether or not hie can bring a guest & whether or not it can be his daughter. I kind of feel that he booked his travel & will use that as a bargaining chip to finagle an exception for his daughter.
FI said it is my decision and he will stand by whatever I choose. Any advice?