(Closed) +1’s … confused

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think all the “plus 1s” we are inviting we know.

For my bridesmaids who don’t have a significant other, I will just let them know they can bring a date if they like but the invitation will go to them.

All others both names will be on the invitation.

Post # 4
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We put names of guests on every invitation if we knew them. I know that when I was dating my DH, I appreciated having my name on invitations instead of being “and guest”.

 

Post # 5
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I would really make an effort to find the name of everyone’s significant other.  The problem with “and Guest” is that it means they can bring who ever they want.  So if their boyfriend can’t make it, they can decide to bring a random friend and you can’t really tell them no since you didn’t specify who was invited.  People will know who is invited simply by what names are on the envelope.  If only their name is there, then they don’t get a date.

Post # 7
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

Yes, for the SOs we don’t know or for people traveling who don’t have SOs but would like to bring someone, we put “Ms. Sally James and Guest”

 

Post # 8
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

If an invitation doesn’t say and guest it should be assumed by guests that the invite is only for them. You can also put on the response card we have reserved 1 seat for you so it is more clear.

Post # 9
Member
6598 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

When we didn’t know their name we put Mr. Smith and Guest on the invitation.

If only their name was the invite it should indicate to them that they are invited without a guest. However, most people are not versed in wedding etiquette.

Another thing you could do to prevent this problem is to include an RSVP card where you fill in the number.

So if you were inviting a couple it would say ___ of 2 are attending. Where they can fill in whether or not they are both coming.

If you are inviting one individual you would write the RSVP card to say ___ of 1 is attending.

Or something along these lines.

Good Luck

Post # 10
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We did exactly what you’re saying – invited the SOs that we knew (by putting their names on the invite), and assumed anyone else would not bring a date. Out of about 200 people invited we had two single people who responded with a guest (Number attending _2_). I had to call and figure out what the situation was. One person was traveling into town for the wedding with a friend and wanted to bring the friend, so we let her. The other was just trying to use our wedding as a fancy first date… we told him we’d prefer if he just came without the strange girl. Haha.

I think the only way to avoid it is to write something like “Number attending: ___ of 1” on your invitations to single people.

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