Post # 1
I’m really confused on this whole +1 thing. We plan on inviting all spouses and SO’s, anyone who is dating that we know their name. So on their invitation it will have the names of everyone invited. Mr. John Smith and Ms. Sally Jones (unmarried, dating).
For those of you that are inviting +1’s, how are you doing this? Do you put the person’s name “and Guest” on the invitation? I’m completely confused on how someone would even know whether they were allowed a +1 or not.
We don’t want people bringing random dates to our wedding. All of our friends and family are close and will know others there – I don’t want some random date that I don’t know at our wedding. How do we make sure people know they aren’t allowed a +1?
Post # 3
I think all the “plus 1s” we are inviting we know.
For my bridesmaids who don’t have a significant other, I will just let them know they can bring a date if they like but the invitation will go to them.
All others both names will be on the invitation.
Post # 4
We put names of guests on every invitation if we knew them. I know that when I was dating my DH, I appreciated having my name on invitations instead of being “and guest”.
Post # 5
I would really make an effort to find the name of everyone’s significant other. The problem with “and Guest” is that it means they can bring who ever they want. So if their boyfriend can’t make it, they can decide to bring a random friend and you can’t really tell them no since you didn’t specify who was invited. People will know who is invited simply by what names are on the envelope. If only their name is there, then they don’t get a date.
Post # 6
So would you (as a guest) assume that if the invitation has JUST your name on it, you’re not allowed to bring a random date?
I guess that’s my concern. We have a limited amount of space and even one extra guest could throw everything off. How do you make sure that people don’t invite/bring along someone who wasn’t specifically invited?
Or you can’t?
Post # 7
Yes, for the SOs we don’t know or for people traveling who don’t have SOs but would like to bring someone, we put “Ms. Sally James and Guest”
Post # 8
If an invitation doesn’t say and guest it should be assumed by guests that the invite is only for them. You can also put on the response card we have reserved 1 seat for you so it is more clear.
Post # 9
When we didn’t know their name we put Mr. Smith and Guest on the invitation.
If only their name was the invite it should indicate to them that they are invited without a guest. However, most people are not versed in wedding etiquette.
Another thing you could do to prevent this problem is to include an RSVP card where you fill in the number.
So if you were inviting a couple it would say ___ of 2 are attending. Where they can fill in whether or not they are both coming.
If you are inviting one individual you would write the RSVP card to say ___ of 1 is attending.
Or something along these lines.
Post # 10
We did exactly what you’re saying – invited the SOs that we knew (by putting their names on the invite), and assumed anyone else would not bring a date. Out of about 200 people invited we had two single people who responded with a guest (Number attending _2_). I had to call and figure out what the situation was. One person was traveling into town for the wedding with a friend and wanted to bring the friend, so we let her. The other was just trying to use our wedding as a fancy first date… we told him we’d prefer if he just came without the strange girl. Haha.
I think the only way to avoid it is to write something like “Number attending: ___ of 1” on your invitations to single people.