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It does seem like your mom way be overreacting a little but I don't see a problem with more than one shower. I was just informed by my mother that I'm having 3. Because my guests are spread out FMIL is throwing one in WV because most of FI's family cannot afford to travel to MD (where the wedding is) more than for the actual weekend. My mother is throwing one in MD for those there, and then another in NY because most of my family and mom's friends live up there. So those who are closest to each location will be invited, but they have the option to go to all if they really wanted to. My mom is having a small one at her house which is more a wine & cheese thing for the shower.
Sorry that's a lot, but maybe try speaking with her about having hers more traditional and have the beach house one, still a shower but maybe more of a party. FI and male family/friends are coming to the NY shower after we've done "all the girly things". lol
Hope that helps even a little bit. :)
@ericalynne85: I'll be having two, in different locations. so even though your Mom's motives may not be in the right place, it's ok to have more than one shower.
it's really too bad how these big life events can bring out the worst in people that we love (or try to love!)
Its totally fine to have two showers, as long as the guest lists do not overlap. So your MOH and FMIL can throw it for your friends and FI's family, and your mom can throw one for your side of the family.
I'm having three bridal showers in different locations with the guest list divided accordingly. While at first I thought it would be a bit strange I'm actually looking forward to three more intimate (20 people estimate) showers versus one huge one.
I would just let your mom throw the shower and try to keep communication open as much as possible so you at least have an idea of what she is up to. It will work out. :)
@Valerita & @Treejewel19: I am so happy to finally see others having more than 1 or 2. I thought my family was crazy for having 3, but I am excited because they will all be so different from each other with the individuals present rather than a large awkward one that goes on forever.
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So i'm sort of losing my mind and i dont know what to do!! My maid of honor is happy to be throwing my shower, she loves organizing things and loves me!! lol but shes going to have it at my in laws beach house. we live in jersey. my mother lives like an hour and a half from the beach house. so my mother started complaining that it was too far for her family to drive down to the shore and was insisting that my maid of honor relocated it. the reason shes having it down the shore is because its a free venue and shes not loaded so it just makes sense, plus my mother in law is more than happy to have it there. so my crazy mom (now i know everyone says their mom is crazy but mine is seriously a crazy asshole, she manipulative, insecure and just a jerk) so shes decided to throw her own shower. and wont give the names and addresses to my maid of honor to even attempt to invite them to the original shower. shes only doing it because she has to have everything about her. plus she despises the fact that i get along with my mother in law as if i'm going replace her. its nuts and i'm really upset, i just want everyone to get along and i want one day with all of my loved ones. is drama free too much to ask?
so i'm torn do i let my mom know that i know shes being a jerk and that my feelings are hurt that shes doing this? or just go along with it and pretend like everything is ok?
if i could pick a song for this it would be "its my party and i'll cry if i want to"