Post # 1
I selected my bridesmaids a few months ago and am so excited! However, about 6 weeks ago, 2 of my BMs got into a fight…they have spoken since…one is very mad at the other and won’t talk to her unless she apologizes…and the other one is kind of laid back and honestly I don’t think she’s remotely aware of how upset the other one is! So they haven’t spoken in weeks…one texted me and said that she can’t believe the other hasn’t tried to contact her to apologize…the other one says friends come and go and she’s not going to get hung up with silly tiffs…
If they are not meant to be friends, then fine…they are not the type of girls to get into a heated blow out of anything in public…but I am just wondering if there is a way to handle this? My parents are throwing us an engagement party-cookout in June (it’s more just a pot luck get together) and I’d love to have everybody getting along…but I’m not sure how to best handle this? My gut is to just let them work it through…they will probably work it out down the road…
I am just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation as me (2 BMs in a tiff) and what you did/how it played out?
Thanks for any help! :
Post # 3
I’d let them work it out. And stop playing the middleman. If one has a problem with the other, send her directly to the source.
Post # 4
**they haven’t spoken since
Post # 5
Give it space and see how things go with both of them at the cookout.
Two of my bridal party members HATE each other – I was nervous for a recent dress shopping trip that both of them came to, but to my total shock they not only tolerated each other but got along and interacted. So you never know, people can surprise you.
If they seem really obviously cool to one another at the party, sit down individually and just tell them, “look I know you’ve got some problems with x going on, but please don’t let that get in the way of your ability to be in my wedding party.” If it gets really bad, you can try to seat them away from each other, etc.
But hopefully it won’t come to that 🙂
Post # 6
I wouldn’t get in the middle of this. They are adults and can deal with it on their own.
Post # 7
Personally I would say something. No one wants to get into the middle of someone argument or ill feeling for another but if they are going to be in the same place at the same time for my event and there is tension I know it would affect me and other people around them.
Tell them it’s silly and holding grudges only prolongs negative feelings. For the sake of clarity try to get along. Even if one is not sorry, so what, someone does not agree with you on something, big deal. Even if they called each other childish names ask them to agree to disagree and be civil. Or take them both out to lunch and ask them to work out their issue, they will be around each other a few times in the future and it’s best if they hash out the issue calmly and maturely.
But I get in between my friends when and try to fix their dislikes for each other by nature I just like everyone to get alone in my precents LOL After I leave go at it all you want haha
Post # 8
It’s tricky…my natural instinct is to just let them deal with it themselves, it’s just awkward when each one tells me how annoyed they are with the other…I just try to neutralize the situation and listen to them but I haven’t been saying much-just listening to each of them vent about the other! I’m just wondering if instead of listening maybe I should speak up when each one is venting? If it were up to me and I was upset I would be direct and call the person up and tell her I’m upset not go to a middleman…maybe I will just tell them to go to the source like ones of the girls said and leave me out of it!