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DH and I are considering moving back out west, the place we love.
He can directly transfer his job, but the commute would be two hours.
Anyone ever commute this far? I think it is worth it to be in the liberal city we love- vs. the conservative town where his job will be.
What is your experience? Is it worth it?
I think it might be worth it at first, so that ONE of us has a job, and hopefully we will find something better closer... I guess to me it is worth it, but I still want to hear from those with experience and see what you think! Is this just too far? Or is it bearable?
2 hours one way or total? If it's 2 hours in the morning and after work, then no, I don't think it's worth it. One hour each way isn't bad though.
I have a 90 minute each way commute, don't do it.
two hours total is doable. My commute right now is about 1:45 total and I love my alone time with the radio.
But no way could I do two hours one way
don't forget to factor in the cost of gas.
2 hours each way, or roundtrip?
I had a 3-4 hour roundtrip commute for about a year, and it was brutal. When we started to get snow and the winter hit, I hated it even more.
I left early and got home late. Too late to go to the gym or cook dinner. I gained weight because I was too tired to cook healthy dinners or take care of myself. I basically lived in my car and when the weekends rolled around, I was too tired to do anything. However, I was also working 60+ hours a week, so that didn't help either.
I know people who have done it for years and are fine with it, but for myself, I just couldn't make it work.
Each way?? HELL NO. That's 4 hours a day!! Thats like driving from Boston to NYC ... every.. single... day. I couldnt do it.
Total? Yes. 30 minute or kess commute is ideal imo, but 45-1 hr is pretty standard.
I hate commuting regardless, so to me, it's not worth it. 2 hours (one way or round trip) is a long commute, and lot of hours lost.
45 min - 1 hour each way is tops. think of this way:
2 hours each way= 4 hrs a day. 4 hrs/dayx5 days/wk= 20hrs a week. that's a part time job.
not to mention gas and wear and tear. personally, it's not something i would do.
2 hours each way is completely unbearable. I live 1:15 on the way to work and 45 min home and it's a bigchunk of my day but dh and I both work in a very underprivileged area that we wouldn't want to live in but the area immediately surrounding is ridiculously expensive.
Well, it would be two hours one way.
I think I might consider this as a worst-case scenario. (Like: worst case is- poor DH has to do this- but it would still be better than no job at all!)
In the meantime, I will try to prevent it by helping him apply for closer positions.
Thanks people! :)
2 hours each way?! No thank you. He will barely have time for anything except work/commute. And that's assuming no traffic, no bad weather, no road construction, no car trouble, etc.
@relaxedabout it: HOLY SMOKES! You are SO right! Part-time job, that's crazy!
So I wonder what the max is? An hour each way?
It may not be better than no job at all considering how much he would spend in gas every day! I wouldn't do it, maybe for a short period but not for long term no.
No, that is insane. I used to have a commute that was 2 hours each way by bus and train. (Lived in the city/worked in the suburbs.) It was awful. It eats up your entire day, and I can only imagine a car commute would be so much worse because at least I could read or rest on the train. Don't do it. It's not worth it to live in a city you love if your commute means you don't have any time to enjoy it.
I used to commute about 3 hours round trip and even though it was an easy commute on a train I would say it is NOT worth it. I would never commute 2 hours each way. He would be looking at a 12+ hour day with commute factored in. Not a great quality of life for him IMO.
If it's 2 hours each way, don't do it. I know people who do this every day and it's beyond horrible. They are always coming in late, leaving early which makes them look bad. And they never attend after work events like happy hours or dinners because that would mean they're getting home at midnight.
DH and I are sacrificing on space in a big way to avoid a long commute. But I'd rather live in a trailer and have an under 30 minute commute than commuting 28 hours/week.
@LGenz: I have a 90 minute each way commute, don't do it.
^This.
I don't actually mind the drive itself (hooray for iPod jacks), but it really cuts in to your time to do anything else. I plan on moving closer to work A.S.A.P.
If he sleeps for 7 hours, that leaves at most 5 hours a day for breakfast, dinner and free time.
4 hours of commuting a day? I couldn't do it- I feel like even if I were in the city I loved I wouldn't be able to do it because all I would do would be sleep, commute, and work.
Personally? I would never do it. My commute is currently 1hr - 1hr 15min one way. I hate not getting home until 6:30 - 7pm every night. I eat dinner, clean up, watch TV for a half hour then go to sleep and do it all over again. It would seriously lower my quality of life to have a commute any longer than the one I already have.
I'm confused- why don't you just move halfway between the conservative city and the liberal city? Why do you have to be in the liberal city?
I wouldn't even commute one hour each way, so definitely not two hours. No matter how great a job, how great the salary, etc. it wouldn't be worth my sanity and time wasted each day traveling! I couldn't do it!
I've done a 2 hours each way commute and unless I were making considerable money I wouldn't do it. Seriously, it's not worth it.
I would go absolutely insane with a 2 hour commute each way!
I spent a year doing an hour commute each way and HATED every second of it.
Note: I love driving and road trips and such and am happy to spend long periods in the car. But when you do it every day, it eats in to so much of your other time that it just isn't worth it, IMO.
Mr. LK commutes 3-4 hours each day, depending on the traffic. It is hell on him and on our life. He has no leisure time on weekdays. He comes home, we eat dinner together, we do our evening chores, we crash on the couch for 45 minutes, and then it's bedtime. We get maybe 90 minutes of interaction with each other each week day (and that includes time devoted to being good parents to DS). It's tough on me because I have to work full-time and carry more of the household load since I have the shorter commute and thus more time to do those things. And it's hard on him because he feels like his life is being sucked away, he feels guilty because he is not carrying his half of the household work, and he doesn't have a lot of time to do the hobbies he enjoys. And it's hard on us as a family because we want to spend more time together, and we just can't. It's not worth it, and he is actively job hunting to find something closer.
I'm another no. I had an 90 minute commute with moderate traffic and it sucked. Loved the job but the drive really took a toll on me physically and mentally. I was completely wiped by the time I got home. And forget about it if it's raining. I'd crash as soon as I got home and ate dinner. No energy for anything else.
I agree with a PP who asked why not live halfway between the two cities. Not sure how far west you're moving, but it would be a lot easier if you did that, at least at first. That way you can still enjoy the city life but save some time on the commute.
My first job out of college had a two hour commute in stop and go traffic and it was HELL. I got to work upset, frustrated and angry and got home feeling exhausted emotionally and physically. That being said the job wasn't perfect for me either so that may have played into my willingness to quit.
For the right job I might consider the drive, might. However, four hours of your day just on the road is a huge sacrifice. I would rather be home or doing something I really love for at least part of that time. I think one hour is really my maximum (each way).
My commute was approximately 1.5 hours each way (on a normal day).
If it happened to be sprinkling, raining, snowing, sleeting or if there was a minor fender-bender pulled all the way to the shoulder, any fog or construction, or if it was a Friday afternoon (every Friday afternoon), or any afternoon before a holiday weekend, or any Tuesday morning after a three-day weekend, FORGET IT. It took me 6 hours one snowy afternoon to get home - and I left the office at 2:00 p.m. to "beat" the traffic. That was the longest. In any of the conditions above, it would take me twice as long - so my 1.5 hour commute would take 3 hours.
I would say that 50% of the time, it would take me the 1.5 hours; the other 50% it would take much longer.
Did this for almost a full year before I had to finally pull the plug and save my sanity and relationship.
If you are seriously considering this, please double the amount of time, and see if you can really live with that. This is a major quality-of-life issue you seriously need to consider. Good luck.
eek, i don't think i could do it full time. i opened this thread though because i just accepted a part time job that is a 2 hour commute each way. however it was the perfect part time job i needed/wanted while finishing my dissertation. And i had been looking for something for months with no luck. and they are flexible in that i am going to work 2 days a week, back to back and stay overnight. and the first day i will start around 11 or 12 and work to 7 or 8. so with all these conditions, i am giving it a try. I also know it is temporary - like unless we move out there, no way will i increase it to full time after i graduate. i will likely stay there part time until i find a full time job here OR if i end up loving it, i might look for another part time close to home. don't know yet. but i also really hate driving and traffic is my biggest pet peeve.
@funfunfun: just wanted to say i agree about the time thing. when i went for my interview last week, it was a nice simple 2 hour drive there. on the way back i hit a snow storm and i think a traffic accident, so it took me over 4 hours to get back home - and my interview finished at 12:45pm! but what is making me do it is that its part time and temporary and we really need more income right now!
I wouldn't do a 4 hour commute each day, I sometimes complain about my 20 minute commute! haha.
@PurpleUnicorn: I have some Professors that commute 3-4 hours round trip- but they only have to do it 2-3 times a week. I think it is much more feasible part-time!
no, that is way too long. I don't think it's worth it at all. even if it's a dream job (which you did not say if it is).
is there any way you can move to a neighborhood that is closer (since you don't have a job yet) or telecommute?
EDIT: my SO used to have a job that would take him an hour to get home if traffic was bad and he left later than I left my job-- so usually he would walk in the door 2-3 hours after I did. so every day I had to start dinner without him, and often eat without him too. that sucks because I hate cooking and I didn't have his help (he loves cooking). the time difference was super annoying for me.
Way too long. My current commute takes about 1 hour and 10 minutes. I only do it three days a week and even that is too much. I couldn't imagine being 2 hours away from home to work - it definitely would not be worth it to me no matter how badly I wanted to live somewhere.
I've done it. Don't do it.
If you end up doing it anyway, please pee before you get in the car EVERY TIME. Even if you don't think you have to go.
Trust me.
It depends if he is driving or on a bus/train. It takes me 2 and a half hours each way to get to school each day, but I day the bus and skytrain, so I get to read, or do homework, or just lounge around, so I really don't mind it at all
I have an hour commute, but it's on public transit so it's not THAT stressful and I can read/play games. Any more than an hour though and I'd kill myself. I already want to kill my commute....
@Juliepants: i certainly trust you! i have been stuck in traffic on a normal commute before when i had to pee REALLY bad and it was one of the most horrible experiencs ever.
How about living somewhere in the middle so you can "easily" get to work and the city you love. 1 hr to work and 1 hr to the city.
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