- 8 years ago
- Wedding: February 2010
(usual disclaimer: I’m a semi-regular poster on WB, but I am posting under another name, etc)
My ex before my FI was the first person I was in love with, and we had an extremely unhealthy relationship; he used to be my boss and then my close friend/mentor, we got together right as his previous 10-year relationship was ending, he was 15 years older than me, tons of emotional baggage… I could go on. Long story short, his behavior broke my heart and I ended things with him, cutting off all communication. I even told our mutual friends that I wanted no news on him, erased him from all contacts, etc (hardest thing I’ve ever done). I was vastly rewarded a few months later when I met the *true* love of my life – my FI (technically husband as we were legally married in Feb). Honestly, I can tell you that I was completely over the ex, and barely thought of him; it was like he didn’t exist and I was blissfully happy. He emailed me a few months ago congratulating me on my engagement and apologizing for the way he treated me. I emailed him back thanking him with no emotional reaction and felt super mature for being able to communicate maturely with an ex.
A few weeks ago I found out that he just had a baby and emailed him to congratulate him. This is where the yuckiness starts .. he responded with all sorts of details, like the baby’s name and stuff about the mom, asked some stuff about the wedding … and then asked if I would be down to meet up for drinks or dinner I guess to rekindle the friendship. I didn’t respond, but ever since I have felt so much anger towards him – like all of the fucked-up stuff about our relationship has been coming back and is making me super upset. I mean, I was so over all of that years ago! And the most bothersome thing is that I have been having DREAMS about him – it is seriously driving me nuts! I talked to my best friend who got married last year, and had pre-wedding dreams about HER ex that had broken her heart, and we thought it was some sort of leading-up-to-the-wedding thing… anyways I just wanted to put this out there and see if anyone can relate or has any insight. I just want to get these old negative thoughts outta my head again!