- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Hi guys, need advice…
Long story short, I picked my Maid of Honour (codename Melissa) knowing that she was not going to be as helpful as I wanted. She was my only dedicated female friend and has been there when it matters for almost 15 years now. However, she isn’t terribly stable and her life is always all over the place. I knew she wouldn’t be able to handle the stress of organizing typical MoH events when I picked her, and that I would need to either plan parties, outings, etc. myself or go without them. I had no other prospects for a MoH, though, so I chose her anyway.
Things have been, somehow, worse than that. She’s only shown up for things when I have told her about them well in advance, reminded her repeatedly, and when they do not cost her a penny. She is one of the flakiest people I know, and it drives me cazy… But there’s a silver lining! The last bridesmaid I recruited, who I was not terribly close to but is part of my fiancé’s family and wanted to be involved – let’s call her Julie – has been, unexpectedly, completely saving the bacon. When one of our groomsmen who was supposed to plan our Jack & Jill backed down, she eagerly sprung up to help. She has been an absolute blessing and I hear she has set the whole thing up (among other things!). Julie drives us to events, visits me lots to check in on my progress, and I don’t know what I would do without her. I really want to thank her for her help and dedication, but at the same time, I’m not willing to demote Melissa. Melissa didn’t even show up to the J&J planning meeting, which, admittedly, does tick me off… but I don’t want to penalize Melissa, I just want to revere Julie for being a superhero. Can they both be MoHs, or is that weird? As an alternative, I am thinking about just getting Julie a special thank-you gift in secrecy when everything is done.
I am not sure what to do, I just want Julie to know how much I appreciate her hard work. I am so grateful for her because, right now, she’s one of the major things that is helping me to keep my cool. Next to me, she is the next most involved person in this wedding, and I can’t put my thanks into words. What would you do?