- 4 years ago
I know nobody can tell me what to do or what the right answer is… but I just need advice. I need people to talk to. My wedding is in about 2 months, and I am freaking out. I am not sure that I am IN love anymore, I am not excited for our wedding, and every time I think about it- I just get scared and nervous. My fiance is a really wonderful man, always been there for me, takes care of me, loves me, wants the same things I do, etc. But at this point, I can’t imagine saying my vows and going through with it with these feelings. I am young, almost 25. My fiance just turned 35. I have really never been single or been on my own. The idea of being out on my own and doing what I want, excites me. I don’t know if that means I am just not ready for marriage. I truly thought it was what I wanted…and up until the past couple of months, I still did. But now, our wedding date seems like a cloud looming over my shoulder.
I talked to my fiance about this last night. He was really sad, said he was happy and that he wants us, but that he also wants me to be happy. He obviously wants me to tell him what I want pretty soon. We are in limbo right now. I told my mom this morning and she is sad. She’s sad that I am feeling this, sad she can’t tell me what the right answer is, and knows that I really need to make a decision here quick.
Postponing the wedding I don’t feel is really an option. I think if I decide I don’t want it now, he won’t want to wait around hoping I eventually will. He’s 35 and wants to get married and have a family. I am so afraid of making the wrong decision either way. I really don’t want to go into it already feeling like this and it end in divorce, and I also don’t want to give up what is possibly the best choice for my life.
Like I said, I don’t feel like we are in love, there is no excitement, no romance, no thrill, no passion, etc. I know people get comfortable and the excitement dies down, but shouldn’t this be a really exciting time for us?
There is so much money into this, people’s plane tickets are bought, houses have been rented, etc. I am trying so hard to just think of what is best for me and what is the smartest decision, but all those things are affecting me. And now, my fiance’s feelings are killing me. I don’t want to hurt him.
I know this is long and i’ve rambled. Help please.