2 more months… I need you girls to calm me down before I become a crazy woman

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
1745 posts
Bumble bee

Let it go. It sounds like he had everything planned and you couldn’t be patient. You are about to get married. Focus on the future.

Post # 3
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

You have it all, the man, the ring, the engagement, the wedding in two months and yet your wasting your energy on waiting for a fairy tale proposal because that’s how he “should” have done it. Enjoy what you’ve already got because in a few months time the engagement/wedding bliss will all be over and you will have missed the excitment waiting for something you already have.

Post # 4
481 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Let it go. Back in history my dad bought my moms ring and she found it and put it on and went to show her friends, he came home saw she found it and never got to propose. They were happily ever after and didn’t need the hyped up fantasy proposal. 


I once had a super romantic proposal in paris, with the guy down on one knee with the Eiffel Tower in the background and that engagement ended in heartbreak. 


Sometimes a fantasy is just that. It works for some, and not for others. Focus on what you do have and the future. Who knows, maybe someday you can have a fun time planning how you’ll tell him you’re having a baby or a surprise like that

Post # 5
5208 posts
Bee Keeper

gpiglet:  You don’t need a “proposal story.” You are getting married in two months, that is your story! Why do you need him to do this, so you can impress people? Even if he did it right now, wouldn’t it feel a little contrived, seeing how you already have a wedding planned?

No offense, but you are totally buying into a lot of over-hyped nonsense. Not everything about getting married has to be straight out of a romantic comedy.

Post # 6
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Maybe I’m in the minority here but I would be bothered by this too. It sounds like YOU’RE the one who put in all the effort… buying the rings and then having to ask him to give you a proper proposal. You shouldn’t have had to ask for that in the first place!

If it’s still bothering you (which it clearly is), then you shouldn’t dismiss those feelings otherwise you’re just going to end up resenting your FI.

If I were you, I would have a discussion with your FI and tell him how you feel. But instead of phrasing it as “You didn’t give me the proposal I always wanted,” try to say something like “I still feel disappointed that we didn’t have the proposal I always wanted.” Don’t make it sound like you are blaming him, just express your feelings openly.

Post # 7
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

gpiglet:  I agree with previous posters–let it go. I think a lot of people have this idea of how a proposal “should” go because we have all of these videos on youtube and pinterest showing us these fairy tale proposals. I know you kept telling your fiance that you wanted an official proposal, and I would be hurt too that it didn’t happen, but you are getting married and starting a life together. Maybe your fiance didn’t feel comfortable doing a “real” proposal and maybe he didnt feel like himself diong it.

Best of luck and congrats!!!

Post # 8
2169 posts
Buzzing bee

gpiglet:  Excuse me for asking, but what does “nothing happened but he still *proposed* to me” even mean? That is a contradictory statement.

Let me tell you a story about my parents. They were poor students who were just graduating from professional school. They had absolutely no money but they were in love. They decided they wanted to get married, and their families sent them the little bit of money so they could. There wasn’t enough for anything fancy. They simply went to the courthouse and got married. Their two good friends were witnesses and the only people who attended the wedding. They went to lunch afterward and that was it.

Over the course of their lives they’ve had many adventures, many of which they could not have predicted would happen. They’ve been together for over 30 years and are still in love and still happy together. They can’t imagine life without the other. Their marriage is strong and has only grown stronger through the obstacles they have faced. And yet there was no formal proposal and no big wedding.

The relationship/marriage is what matters in the long run, not the proposal and not even the wedding. Keep that in mind.

Post # 9
113 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t know if this is what you want to hear, but my Dad never proposed to my Mum. You could tell it bothered her but she wouldn’t admit it. Everyone gave him grief for never proposing formally too her. 

About seven years later they were in town one day, and they walked past an antiques shop. There was a ring in the window, my Mum made a comment about it and they carried on with their day. About a week later, out of nowhere, my Dad presents her with the ring and asks her formally to be his wife. It sounds like it was a very special, private moment between the two of them even though they were already married. Everyone was so surprised and thought it was the sweetest thing when they found out. So I was just wondering, is it essential that he asks you prior to the official wedding? A proposal can still be loving and romantic even after the wedding… 

Post # 10
1843 posts
Buzzing bee

“Like all the bees here”… Umm no… A bunch of us have different stories.  For Some bees there is no story other than a let’s get married followed by an okay and a mutual, well thought decision of formally starting a life together with a marriage. 

I still have no ring on my finger! Lol. It is still at the jeweler being finished. And once it gets here he wants to choose when I’ll have it so who knows when I’ll have my ring. And I have a wedding date and a venue already with deposits. 

Don’t feel bad. Your story is different than others but your journey is taking you to the exact same destination! 🙂 Plus it sounds like a wonderful guy. I can understand you feeling like you are missing out on something but hey, I’d take marrying a wonderful guy and no “proposal” over a proposal from a not so wonderful guy any day!! 

Post # 11
133 posts
Blushing bee

gpiglet:  Have you asked him why he hasn’t proposed? This situation just seems weird.

Post # 12
5196 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

You really need to let this go and focus on your upcoming wedding and future life with your FI.

Post # 13
26 posts

Although it is a bit disappointing that you didn’t get the big proposal that you had happen in your mind (every girl has that dream), the important thing is that the man is marrying you and has chosen you for life! And it sounds like he is stepping up and being a great partner. You would be surprised how nerve-wracking it is for a guy to go through a proposal, even if you know you are getting married. You might consider his feelings-it seems like he wanted to do that at some point, and got a negative experience associated with the subject because it was pushed on him. It will be so sad if you look back on your wedding 20, 30, 50 years from now and realize that you let this ruin your wedding day. Let it go and focus on the exciting new things happening in your life, and in his.

Post # 14
535 posts
Busy bee

The fact that he didn’t give you a simple thing you asked for (some heartfelt words + will you marry me) is concerning. I agree with GirlyGirl24:  you have every right to be upset.


Post # 15
2114 posts
Buzzing bee

gpiglet: I get it. We all dream of a perfect proposal and it is a reality check when you realize you didn’t get one. I am sure i would be upset if i didnt get a formal proposal, but it is kind of one of those things where you get one shot. Once you start planning a wedding and have a ring, the proposal time has passed. It would now just be a “fake” one because you already agreed to marry him previously. 

But not everyone gets everything. Some girls get grand proposals, but deep down they are miserable. Some girls don’t get the ring of their dreams. Some girls have an amazing wedding, but their husband cheats.

Sometimes you just have to be thankful for what you got and that the parts you do have are amazing. 


I knowyou want a story to tell, but in the future when someone asks and you now have a fabulous story to tell them- are you also going to say that it was done after the majority of your planning had been done and that you had to remind him 4 times? Not very romantic. 

Stick with the wonderful and romantic things you do have. 


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