"2 of 1 guests will be attending"

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I feel like writing “___ of ___ guests” on RSPV is kinda rude, like you really want to point out who is and isn’t invted.

They may have combined their RSVP.

saying 1 guests will be attending is pretty bad Enlgish, so they made that a little better.

I also think it is rude not to extend a +1 to adults even if that means the king of weed is attending.  

Post # 3
Member
716 posts
Busy bee

 

Atalanta:  Agreed, amen!  Adult people want to bring dates to weddings.  Maybe it’s a husband, or a FI, or a boyfriend, or just a friend, but it stinks to attend a wedding solo.  There are so many of these threads on here and I say the same thing all the time.  The majority opinion however will be that it’s the Bride’s wedding and it’s her perrogative who she does and doesn’t invite….blah, blah, blah.

Post # 4
Member
988 posts
Busy bee

Regardless of your opinions on whether or not adults should automatically receive a +1 (I personally feel that it is entirely up the the bride/groom whether or not they want to pay for a meal for complete strangers), it is incredibly poor form to GIVE YOURSELF a +1 without so much as talking with the couple.

If a friend offers to buy you a ticket to an event (movies, sports, etc.) you wouldn’t automatically assume that you can bring a significant other that they’ve never met…it’s pretty much the same thing with weddings.

The best advice I’ve seen on other boards wthen an guest wrongly assumes that they can bring a date/+1 is to call them up saying you wanted to clarify what their RSVP stated (make sure they weren’t simply saying that the “2” are the father & daughter) and politely, but firmly appologize that due to space/budget limitations, the guest list is limited and no additional guests are permitted.

Post # 5
Member
1082 posts
Bumble bee

I think it will all be okay.  It’s so easy to think the worst of situations when we don’t have all of the information.  My hope is that when you and your FI talk to these friends later this week that you get some peace of mind about whatever is happening and a big laugh out of it all and remember that weddings make everyone a bit crazy. 

Post # 6
Member
1321 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Atalanta:  I feel like writing “___ of ___ guests” on RSPV is kinda rude, like you really want to point out who is and isn’t invted. 

 

…What?

Post # 7
Member
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

purrrbaby:  My thoughts exactly. Isn’t that the whole point of an invitation, or did I miss something?

Post # 8
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Brussels, Belgium

How is telling OP that she’s being rude constructive? She already sent the invites. In regards to +1s, maybe OP has a budget and can’t feed all the extra people.

Anyways, I like what a PP said about calling them up to clarify and just make it clear they they don’t get a +1. They could have gotten confused and the 2 means daughter and father.

Post # 9
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

The OP is perfectly entitled to put “_ of _ guetss” on her invitations, and she’s perfectly entitled to say no plus ones. This isn’t rude at all! It’s her party, she can invite who she wants to.

More on point, that is ridiculously rude of those guests! I’d be ringing them to have a firm discussion… They might not come if they can’t bring plus ones, but doesn’t sound like you’ll be too upset with that, so win-win for you!

Post # 10
Member
42 posts
Newbee

I think if people really don’t want to attend a wedding alone they just shouldn’t attend.  If it’s someone close to the bride and/or groom they will likely know at least one other person there.  I don’t think everyone should have to be given a +1.  I’m personally trying to limit the number of randos at my intimate wedding.  People might think it’s rude to not extend a +1 to everybody but I think it’s much more rude to add an extra person to an RSVP card when you know the invite is meant only for you.

Post # 11
Member
1062 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’d call them to confirm who is actually coming and who actually is invited. And for what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s rude to not include a +1. If people aren’t comfortable with going to an event, then they can politely decline the invitation. 

Post # 12
Member
6615 posts
Bee Keeper

Reading this gives me palpitations. That would drive me crazy!

Post # 13
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I really don’t understand why everyone is schooling the OP on how rude her RSVPs were. How is that any of your business?

If anything, the guest is even more rude for writing that without even asking the OP if she could bring a date!!!

 

Post # 14
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

purrrbaby:  Quite find the whole # thing off putting.  At least when it says “we have reserved X seats for you, it sounds a bit better more welcoming, but I’ve never been a fan, but X or X guests will be attending sounds terrible and very impersonal.  I’d think it is rude if an RSVP said that.  If I’m just a freaking number to you, please don’t bother inviting me.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors