Post # 1
So, our RSVPs have a line at the bottom where it says “___ of ___ guests will be attending” and I filled in the 2nd line before sending them out with how many people in the house were invited. The invitations were also addressed to all names invited in the house (no “and guest”, in other words).
FI’s half sister and her father, who received separate invitations and RSVPS, decided to both put “2 of 1 guests will be attending”.
Uhhhh…..no call, no email, nothing. FI is not close with either of them and they were mostly invited out of necessity/courtesy. His half-sister is kind of trashy and used to date a self-proclaimed “prince of weed”, so I am a bit scared of who she might be trying to bring. Even if we have extra space (which we do now that we’ve gotten some “no” RSVPs), I still don’t want complete strangers at our wedding!
Argh. He’s dealing with it on his day off this week. Some people.
This topic was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by pharmy.
Post # 2
I feel like writing “___ of ___ guests” on RSPV is kinda rude, like you really want to point out who is and isn’t invted.
They may have combined their RSVP.
saying 1 guests will be attending is pretty bad Enlgish, so they made that a little better.
I also think it is rude not to extend a +1 to adults even if that means the king of weed is attending.
Post # 3
Atalanta: Agreed, amen! Adult people want to bring dates to weddings. Maybe it’s a husband, or a FI, or a boyfriend, or just a friend, but it stinks to attend a wedding solo. There are so many of these threads on here and I say the same thing all the time. The majority opinion however will be that it’s the Bride’s wedding and it’s her perrogative who she does and doesn’t invite….blah, blah, blah.
Post # 4
Regardless of your opinions on whether or not adults should automatically receive a +1 (I personally feel that it is entirely up the the bride/groom whether or not they want to pay for a meal for complete strangers), it is incredibly poor form to GIVE YOURSELF a +1 without so much as talking with the couple.
If a friend offers to buy you a ticket to an event (movies, sports, etc.) you wouldn’t automatically assume that you can bring a significant other that they’ve never met…it’s pretty much the same thing with weddings.
The best advice I’ve seen on other boards wthen an guest wrongly assumes that they can bring a date/+1 is to call them up saying you wanted to clarify what their RSVP stated (make sure they weren’t simply saying that the “2” are the father & daughter) and politely, but firmly appologize that due to space/budget limitations, the guest list is limited and no additional guests are permitted.
Post # 5
I think it will all be okay. It’s so easy to think the worst of situations when we don’t have all of the information. My hope is that when you and your FI talk to these friends later this week that you get some peace of mind about whatever is happening and a big laugh out of it all and remember that weddings make everyone a bit crazy.
Post # 6
Atalanta: I feel like writing “___ of ___ guests” on RSPV is kinda rude, like you really want to point out who is and isn’t invted.
Post # 7
purrrbaby: My thoughts exactly. Isn’t that the whole point of an invitation, or did I miss something?
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2014 - Brussels, Belgium
How is telling OP that she’s being rude constructive? She already sent the invites. In regards to +1s, maybe OP has a budget and can’t feed all the extra people.
Anyways, I like what a PP said about calling them up to clarify and just make it clear they they don’t get a +1. They could have gotten confused and the 2 means daughter and father.
Post # 9
The OP is perfectly entitled to put “_ of _ guetss” on her invitations, and she’s perfectly entitled to say no plus ones. This isn’t rude at all! It’s her party, she can invite who she wants to.
More on point, that is ridiculously rude of those guests! I’d be ringing them to have a firm discussion… They might not come if they can’t bring plus ones, but doesn’t sound like you’ll be too upset with that, so win-win for you!
Post # 10
I think if people really don’t want to attend a wedding alone they just shouldn’t attend. If it’s someone close to the bride and/or groom they will likely know at least one other person there. I don’t think everyone should have to be given a +1. I’m personally trying to limit the number of randos at my intimate wedding. People might think it’s rude to not extend a +1 to everybody but I think it’s much more rude to add an extra person to an RSVP card when you know the invite is meant only for you.
Post # 11
I’d call them to confirm who is actually coming and who actually is invited. And for what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s rude to not include a +1. If people aren’t comfortable with going to an event, then they can politely decline the invitation.
Post # 12
Reading this gives me palpitations. That would drive me crazy!
Post # 13
I really don’t understand why everyone is schooling the OP on how rude her RSVPs were. How is that any of your business?
If anything, the guest is even more rude for writing that without even asking the OP if she could bring a date!!!
Post # 14
purrrbaby: Quite find the whole # thing off putting. At least when it says “we have reserved X seats for you, it sounds a bit better more welcoming, but I’ve never been a fan, but X or X guests will be attending sounds terrible and very impersonal. I’d think it is rude if an RSVP said that. If I’m just a freaking number to you, please don’t bother inviting me.
Post # 15
Atalanta: The irony here…”saying 1 guests will be attending is pretty bad Enlgish, so they made that a little better.”
My apologies, my RSVP actually has the syntax “__ of __ guest(s) are attending”. I probably should have made sure I had it 110% correct, since this is the internet and all. Serious business!
Our wedding is a destination wedding and we have a max of 30-40 people attending, so very intimate. I would be perfectly okay with them not attending if they feel uncomfortable attending alone if that means that I won’t have complete strangers there.
I have found the _ of _ to be very helpful, especially since many of our friends are couples that have put 1 of 2 due to travel or financial concerns.