2 parties for one marriage! Help.

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Theonetime:  I would tell her” We really appreciate your offer to host a BBQ, but given that the ceremony at the JOP is a technicality to avoid any concerns about the wedding in Mexico, we would rather not have a celebration before the DW. If you still want to host a celebration after the wedding, for only those who could not attend the DW, we would be happy to attend.”

Then have your FI tell her. It’s his Mom, his problem.

As a compromise, you could offer to go out for dinner with the two Moms after the JOP.

 

Post # 4
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Wow, tough spot!! I feel for you since I’m in a similar situation, except our “second wedding” takes place after the real ceremony, so at least we can call it a newlywed party.

I think you’re right that having a big party for the elopement is going to take something away from your real ceremony in Mexico… it feels a bit much to ask certain relatives to celebrate twice.

I can’t think of any other option than calling your FMIL and telling her straight out, “I know you’re really excited about the official certificate signing day, but FI and I really want to confine the celebrations to the real ceremony in Mexico. We feel more comfortable just having a small dinner with close family members the day we sign the ceremony, but would rather not have a BBQ with extended family.” Then it’s on her to act right or not…

Post # 6
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would do what Jules says, but not limit who she can invite to the BBQ.  If she wants everyone there, and she’s throwing the party, went the hell not.  If they dunt want to chine to the second thing, they won’t.  They might feel slighted at being excluded in the basis of having made the effort to come to your DW.

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