Post # 1
I’m on an anon for no reason other than my paranoia that someone I know will connect the dots.
My wedding is on October 6th, less than two weeks away, and my FI and I got a positive pregnancy test last night. This was most definitely not planned however we didn’t plan on waiting any more than a year or two to TTC so while this is shocking and an adjustment, we are considering a blessing.
The thing is, I don’t know if I should tell anyone before the wedding because I am afraid of people’s reactions. I really want the focus to be on the wedding, not the pregnancy. I just don’t know what people would think (and I know their ‘opinions don’t matter’) and I would be really upset if I got a bad reaction–which is totally possible from a few family members who don’t have a lot of tact.
If I do wait, I’m afraid close family members will be offended, and more so I am so nervous about hiding it–I enjoy my cocktails and I know people will be pouring drinks and making toasts etc. I just don’t know how to help that if I don’t tell ANYONE.
I guess I’m just looking for opinions, what would you do if you were me?
Thanks in advance ladies, I always enjoy and appreciate the feedback and support I can find here.
Post # 6
I should have made it clear, I would ONLY tell my close family, but that is a lot of people (6 sibilings and 4 sets of parents)…I figure if they know, they’ll make sure I’m sipping on sparkling cider, not champange 🙂 I’m still just worried about the unexpected suprise.
Maybe just parents?
Post # 8
Thanks for the congrats! I was considering just telling the bartenders and hotel coordinator to make sure there is sparkling something in my glass, not the champange.
Didn’t think I would be getting my marriage license and having my 1st Dr’s appt for a baby on the same day. Whoa.
Post # 4
I agree that the only people that knew at the beginning were our parents and siblings. We didn’t tell anyone else until 3 months.
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia
Personally, the only people I told that early are my parents.
I would consider it too early to tell the vast majority, but that’s just me.
You can still have a blast at your wedding. Have the bar staff mix you some non alcoholic drinks that look the same. If people question why you’re off the wine, tell them you want to avoid being tipsy at the wedding.
Post # 10
I would just tell parents (if anybody) and the wait staff to make sure u don’t end up with champagne or liquor in your glass. Either way, down the road someone is gonna do the math and it won’t matter because you’ll be married 🙂
Post # 5
I agree that I don’t think you need to tell anyone until after the wedding. And yes, just get your own drinks or have your hubby get you drinks all night and they can look like “mixed” drinks even though they won’t be. 🙂
I also think your reason is perfectly valid: that you didn’t want the focus to be on the pregnancy yet. Hopefully, there’s no reason for anyone to get offended later if you offer up that reason especially since it’s very early in the pregnancy and you won’t be showing or anything yet.
Post # 9
Congratulations!!!! I’m happy you guys are looking at this in such a positive light! (and I hope you’re feeling well on the day – make sure to remember that carbs are indeed your friends and eat small, frequent meals to help with any nausea)
Agreed as to not telling people. You don’t want to take away from a day all about YOU to make it all about baby. Plus there is always that risk. We waited until 10-12 weeks to start really telling anyone.
Anyway, if it makes you feel better, I found that the EASIEST day not to drink was my wedding day. I kept getting drinks and then someone else would come up who I had to hug, so I would put down the drink and then look down at the table and realize that I had no idea which one was mine – or I would forget about it completely because someone else was coming up to talk to me. I would suggest you take that tack (though more on purpose).
Also like Jag’s suggestion – because who cares if you tell your event coordinator/bar staff. Highly recommend Cranberry Juice and Sparkling Water. It looks like cranberry vodka and tastes AWESOME (plus good for those kidneys). And people totally understand you not wanting to be tipsy on your wedding day.
Post # 12
Thank you so much for sharing your friend’s story. That is what I was worried about (not that I would put it on FB)…I’m thinking if I fib a little to those not that close with us, this can be a “honeymoon” baby…wink wink.
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia
@anonpreg2weeksb4wedding: Just parents might be a good compromise!! 🙂
Post # 13
Thanks for your advice. Hopefully I will feel good the day of…at least I won’t be hung over from the rehearsal dinner the night before 🙂
I was thinking the same about it being easy not to drink, I’m a talker/dancer so I’ll focus on that, without a drink in hand. (Just typing that got my excitement focused back on the wedding, yayyy!)
Post # 11
First of all, congratulations!
I’ve not been in your position, but I agree with PPs (about not telling non-essentials and fake drinks). A friend of mine from middle school just got married over the weekend (I facebook stalk) and announced her (very early) pregnancy the next day. She got a LOT of embarrassing and rude comments (man, you guys didn’t wait, huh! Must have been a fun wedding night!)…so just from seeing that, I would say wait a little bit to announce. I just think some people are so annoying and rude, and I wouldn’t want you to have to deal with obnoxious comments like that.
Post # 14
I personally would wait. Enjoy being the Bride you only get that once and youll be a mommy the rest of your life! Waiting a few more weeks won’t hurt anyone. Sip on some sparking cider and have a blast at your wedding. Congrats!
Post # 15
I would probably tell one person who could help you out – maybe your MOH? You probably won’t be getting your own drinks on your wedding day!
Post # 16
Congratulations–on wedding and baby!!! Such an amazing time in your life! 🙂
I’ve always heard 12 weeks as the norm, for telling most people. Some choose to share with friends/family sooner but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with waiting until 12 weeks and just enjoying the wedding and honeymoon to their fullest in the meantime 🙂