Post # 1
I know two weeks ago i posted that im getting off birth control and also not TTC.. But lately the more I think about it.. Deep down I actually do want to have a baby.. I am young, (22 years old) my husbands 24 years old. We got married in 2012 but been together since 2009.. (Also I’d like to add that I am a born again christian since 2011)
I guess the only thing I worry about is finances. I want to give my all and everything to my baby.. As I was growing up I did not receive love nor things. I guess I worry that my baby wouldn’t have the best life.. What do you guys think? me and my husband are both working, we get paid decent not a lot but decent enough to pay all bills and have some for ourselves. Do you guys think we should wait it out? I’d like to hear your stories or advice you’d like to share! Or any experiences you went through. Thanks much!
Post # 2
Well, I totally understand the urge to have a baby, but be conflicted about the timing. I’m going off BCP right now actually, for the first time in 8 years (got on them at 17). My husband and I plan to TTC starting July 2015. Lately, I’ve really been struggling with waiting because emotionally and mentally, I am ready. We do comfortably financially, but we want a better savings and to do a few more things before we have our first. While we will never be rich, it is in our power right now to live frugally and save as much as possible. We won’t have a huge savings/bank account when we TTC, but we will have a decent safety net.
Talk with your husband. Maybe set a timeline for when you want to begin trying for a baby. Having that has really helped me. When I’m struggling, I think about how close July 2015 really is and how busy the next year will be for us. I would set your timeline and a financial goal. Then, as you’re approaching that date, you know that you’re doing as much as you can to provide what you want for your baby.
Post # 3
GreaterisHE: I can also relate to you! I’m 22, 23 next month, and hubs is turning 24 in July. We got married in Sept. 2013 and we’ve been together for 4 years total. I’ve been off BC for almost 2 weeks. We decided to TTC much earlier than I ever thought I wanted. My 1st thinking was to wait until we were 26ish. But timing presented itself sooner. We have a good savings, stable environment, and good jobs. I do think you need to talk to your hubs and look at your finances. We researched what my insurance would pay for through my work, and what we’d actually pay for. We looked up the average costs of having a baby and looked hard at if we were ready. You definitely have time if you and your hubby don’t think it’s financially doable yet.
Post # 4
KatiePi: thank you for replying! I took your advice and I did have a chat with my husband! <3
MrsNebraska: Thank you also for replying! And wow! We are going through the same! I got off birth control because my husband kept telling me to get off it. anyway, are you ttc as of now? How are you guys doing? Are you charting? Me and my husband just had a heart to heart conversation just a few mins ago. We don’t really want to set a time for when to get pregnant but we will just let it fall into God’s timing as when we will. But I’m super happy for you! Hopefully I’ll be blessed sooner then I think.
Post # 5
It’s a lot easier to get yourselves financially “comfortable” now, than if you have a child and try to do it after.
Personally, I wanted a baby BAD around age 23, but DH and I waited until I was closer to 25 before we were TTC. I went off birthcontrol at 23 and charted to avoid until we got pregnant. ((just a side note, going off the pill can actually make your desire to have a baby STRONGER. That is because you are ovulating, and the hormones associated with ovulation cause that desire to make babies and procreate! It makes baby fever worse! lol)
Anywho, It was smart (for us) to wait until we had our home, cars, careers and goals all started and going smoothly. The less stress, the better, when bringing a child into the world.
It’s not impossible to have a baby with less, but my god, if you don’t have to put yourself through the added struggle, then don’t!
I came from a life where I was born into a family that was “doing well” financially. Then when my parents split, they both lost EVERYTHING…and we were dirt poor. Since then, I swore I would do everything to avoid putting my own kids through that. Sure, some things are unavoidable and unpredictable, but I would rather try my best to give my kids the best.
Waiting to have a baby is tough, but SO worth it!
Post # 6
GreaterisHE: We unofficially started TTC “practice” at the end of April. But now this is our first full month TTC. I’m not sure how my cycle will be, as it was irregular before. So this is definitely a learning month I feel. I don’t currently chart. I am someone who analyzes everything, so charting would probably drive me mad. But I do use an app to mark when AF starts and ends, days we have sex, and etc. This shows me a rough prediction of when my O date is and high fertility dates. Hopefully it works out! My husband is thinking I’ll get pregnant right away and doesn’t understand how ovulation works. It is stressfull. He currently thinks I am pregnant and “keeping him in the dark.” I have no idea why he thinks this, but I am definitely not pregant. I was on BC when I had my O day and highest fertility days. Hopefully it happens this summer for us, but I won’t hold my breath I suppose! I hope everything works well for you too! I’m happy to see more people who are in similar situations. None of my friends know we’re TTC so it gets stressful keeping it to myself.
Post # 7
GreaterisHE: How did the talk with your husband go? Were you able to come to an agreement on when to TTC? If it helps, I recently (as in last week) went off of BCP and began charting. I am still in the learning stage, but love the fact that I’m now (or will be when my cycles regulate since I’ve been on BCP for so long) in control of my cycles and can see what’s going on. Also, being off BCP has made me feel great. My face is clearing up, my body isn’t as bloated, and I’m just generally-except a few more headaches- feeling better. Maybe that’s an option for you two once you get closer to TTC? Good luck!
Post # 8
urchin: I completely agree with the notion that getting off the pill and actually ovulating makes me want a baby like now! When in fact we are planning to wait until December if I can stay patient. 🙂 I just feel we will be more prepared mentally, emotionally, and age-wise by then.